


10 miles away

by GarbageFanfics



Series: Uninvited [2]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, First Love, Homelessness, Internalized Homophobia, Parental Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Survival, Teens talk about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 81,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23780323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarbageFanfics/pseuds/GarbageFanfics
Summary: Separated at age 8.  Living two different lives, becoming two different people.  Then falling in love at age seventeen like it was meant to be.  All that separates us is your parents, my social worker, our friends, social standings, school, and ten miles.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Angella/Micah (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra/Scorpia (She-Ra), Entrapta & Scorpia (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Series: Uninvited [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1464817
Comments: 224
Kudos: 298





	1. Adora is gay

10 miles Northwest Side of the Grayskull County

Spend a whole academic career being known as a smart girl. A sports girl. A girl anyone would want to be friends with or become a girlfriend too. 

Spend entire said academic career, clinging to your older sister’s side with her friends, not even considering the fact she’s a year older and in a higher grade. Meaning she will leave you one-year before your high school life is over.

Enjoy what little time you have left with your sister and all her friends before they go to college and don’t tell your parents about the wild house party she is throwing.

Get stuck playing spin the bottle with boys from the senior class, half these people you will never see again in your life so it’s no big deal. Watch a bunch of friends and acquaintances make-out and feel funny about it. Yep, that happened.

They have the bottle land on you when and have it be your secret long-time girl crush be the person who spun it. Yep, that happened, and now I’m walking over to my mom’s coat closet in the living room getting cheered on by guys I barely talked to for seven minutes in heaven with my crush.

Her laughter echoing the small space her, and I shared as she told me “We don’t have to kiss, don’t worry” she laughed. Pulling out her phone like this was no big deal. 

_No! I want to kiss! Is what I want to say. I don’t want to hide for seven minutes; I want my seven minutes in Heaven!_

“We can kiss, it’s cool,” I say. 

I barely see her face when she laughs again and asks “I don’t want to steal your first kiss from you, you should let that be for a future boyfriend”

_I don’t want a boyfriend. I want you!_

I shake my head “No trust me, it’s cool” I lie and also stutter a little. 

She puts her phone away and smiles. She puts her hands on my waist and leans in “Okay” she says softly. I smell my dad’s beer on her breath as she places her lips on mine. Confused and nervous I just wince a little and squeak. She pulls away “You good?” She asked. 

“Do-over” I blurt out. Not realizing how stupid that sounded “I wasn’t ready”

She snorts a little bit and kisses me again. This time. No screw-ups. Now lips puckered properly against her own. No tongue. Just lips touching. Then it was over.

One week later

After a severe grounding and being relegated to dad’s pack mule during the fourth of July prep, The thoughts keep flooding to me. _I’m not just crushing on her, I love her!_

I see her with my sister and beg to come along to the mall, the movies, or wherever! Even to get pedicures, which I hate, but I just want an excuse to be around her.

It’s now almost August and I need to tell her.

I do.

I dress up cutely, offer her to go to Dunkin Donuts, listen to her about how her dorm life is going to be awesome, and then I blurt out.

“I love you Mermista!”

She chuckles and replies “I love you too, you’re like my little white sister I never knew I wanted”

I shake my head. “No, I like you, like you. I want to date you. I know after this summer you’ll be in college, but maybe this summer—for the rest of this summer, we could date?”

Panic washes over as I see the look of disapproval take over her. My crush frowns and me and says “Adora…… I-m” she stops looking at me as she says “I’m like….. Super flattered, I mean, I guess I always sorta knew you were gay,” she lets out a light chuckle “I mean Glimmer and I always assumed you’d come out in college or something, but….. I guess I should have figured you liked me……” she looked up to see my face. She looked shocked when she realized I had tears run down my face and my face was bright red. She darted her eyes around the Dunkin Donuts to make sure no one was watching as she waved her hands around. Attempting to keep me calm. 

“Adora, Adora! hey, it’s cool, it’s fine! I’m flattered! You are real sweet! Totally sweet! Anyone would be happy to date you but—”

I had to run! I couldn’t allow myself to cry in a public place like this. I don’t want to hear what she had to say. All I know is I needed to leave. Rushing out of Dunkin Donuts I cried to myself to my car.

I thought it was over.

I thought wrong.

Because, apparently in Mermista’s attempt to be a _good friend_ she text Glimmer, who text mom, who text Mermista, who texted her mom, who texted my mom, and now everyone in our inner circle of family and friends knows I asked out Mermista—got friend-zoned—ran off crying—and—I’m gay.

Nothing was the same after that.

I loved my family so much. I thought they saw me for all my hard work, my soccer trophies, softball awards, my Honors Society Badges, the fact that I’m a nice person! —No! instead, my mom doubled down on her real thoughts of me. 

Bringing up a special word that starts with an “A” and that word and what it relates to my sexuality. September was here and all the sports teams I want to be involved in are canceled! Not enough sign-ups. I just got the news I can play lacrosse at a different school 10 miles away in Horde Grove. All the good news. My mom was trying to be supportive, dad was keeping out of it, and Glimmer and Mermista gave me some stupid _It’s okay that your gay intervention_. 

The dinner table was set. We were eating bland shepherd’s pie and Glimmer was home from college. Gracing us with her presence so she could fill up a water bottle of vodka and hide it in her purse. She deflected on her true intentions as she tells us about school. 

Mom decided to tell Glimmer for me that I’m going to do sports on another school's team and Glimmer decides to ask “Are you going to come out as gay to them? Since you decided to stay in the closet for senior year?”

Everyone stopped. Dad, mom, Glimmer, just stared at me for an answer. I just had to sit their embarrassed. Humiliated. Mortified on how to answer that. 

_How can I answer that! out me for not coming out! Why does it matter to anyone if I come out gay!? Who has the right to judge!?_

“I don’t even tell people I’m autistic! Why would I tell people I’m gay” I snapped? Coldly. Giving Glimmer an angry look before trying to eat the rest of my dinner. 

Dad always just sat there like a deer in headlights.

Mom tried to run damage control in her most mom-ish/unhelpful way possible with “Glimma, It’s Adora’s choice to tell who she wants to, we should not pressure her”

Wow, that was helpful. Almost sincere. She ruined it by telling me.

“Adora, honey you don’t have to tell anyone anything you don’t want to. We love and accept you no matter what”

I quietly thanked her. 

The awkwardness didn’t have time to set as she stated “This is all normal and natural. Autism has been proven to have links to the LGBT community. Many autistics are identifying as either gay or lesbian. Studies show—”

I snapped “I don’t like identifying as either! I don’t want to talk about this anymore”

I said moving my plate away from me. Sitting up she stopped me to comment in a stern “Adora we are only trying to help you”

I replied with “How is telling me that my being gay is linked to me being autistic! You know I hate having that brought up and you always manage to bring it up!” I said walking out of the kitchen. 

Glimmer then shouted back “You know you really should get over that” implying I was overreacting. 

I hate this! I hate them sometimes! I wasn’t going to take it anymore.

I spun right back and let them have it. Starting with Glimmer “Glimmer you ant tell me what I need to get over! You wouldn’t have even come down this weekend if your vodka wasn’t running out!” I pointed to the liquor cabinet and informed mom and dad “She emptied the Smirnoff bottle of vodka from you guys and you didn’t even know!”

Mom and dad looked at her in shock as she looked at me in betrayal. 

I then looked at mom “Why do you bring up my autism even though you know I hate it! It’s not fair! I don’t bring up your business to anyone, why is that okay!?”

Mom just watched me speechless as she tried to stammer out a retort at my anger. 

I then looked at dad and asked “Why don’t you ever say anything!? They only act this way because they think they're unopposed to everything! You ever stood up to them they wouldn’t be such—such—jerks!”

And stormed off. Leaving them speechless. Probably hurt. But at this rate. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to be near them.

The school was just as miserable. I hate sitting with the girls in my grade. The Senior Lounge was filled with jerks and some jerks wanted to date me. Worst of it was one girl used me as a wingman to get a boy to date her. I hate this. 

I left to go sit and eat somewhere else. Another perk to being a senior was no one questioned me as I roamed the halls endlessly. I sat in my car to eat. The only kids who went to their car during this time where the potheads and thankfully they left me alone. 

After lunch, I was pulled in by the gym teacher to tell me that I can join the lacrosse team at Horde Grove if I meet with their coach and other teammates. 

Finally! Some good news. 

I can go today after school. I text mom to let her know what I was doing. 

Today. I get to see Horde Grove.

Before I got adopted this would of most likely been the school district, I would have been apart of. A thirty-minute drive away and I was outside in the parking lot of the high school track field. Now, one thing I must have forgotten of Horde County, was that it was, as my mother would so eloquently put it “A shit hole”

Between the graffiti on the corner store walls and the fact that the high school was smaller with three boarded-up windows by the main entrance and a graffitied dick on the sidewalk next to the fenced-off track. I counted myself lucky. Mom did save me from one heck of a life. 

Making my way to the main office I saw someone. A ghost from my past. Walking out as I was walking in a girl, with beautiful dark brown curly hair and two different coloreds eyed walked past me. 

There she was.

My real first friend.

I suppose my real first Love.

Carlotta Weaver.


	2. Therapy for Catra

My new social worker sucks. I should not need a social worker now, I am emancipated! Instead of focusing on me, focus on all the screwed-up kids you do not want to end up like me! I love how I got called into the office, It is almost the end of September and the Principal and Dean of Students think I should do alternative high school. why? Because I am the problem. I am aggressive with teachers and other students. I beat one girl’s ass last year, deal with being mocked for being a foster child. Make a good name for foster kids by beating the shit out of anyone who messes with us, and just because I beat the crap out of one girl last year to the point of her crying and bleeding, I get to go to purgatory so Christine Miller can feel safe!

Grow the fuck up. 

See? This is why I hate everyone! They're all stupid and fake! No one cares about anyone! Unless your name is Scorpia Danvers or Entrapta Smithfield then I do not give a fuck about you!

Now, this new social worker is driving me to my new therapist because the old one seemed to be ineffective. Funny how the second I have adult rights; everyone jumps on what I should and should not do. 

I am being held by my nonexistent balls overhear about what my emancipation rights are. 

For starters, I can drop out. Great. Why was that the first thing the dean of students tried to push? Second, I can stay in school under certain guidelines. Shouldn’t all students abide by some sort of conduct at school? and thirdly, I can sign myself out of school, class, and I take responsibility for myself when I get in trouble. 

So, when last year, when I beat the crap out of Christine Miller for taping a sign saying “Help this teen in need” to my locker, I should have been able to defend myself against Christine and her dumb mom. Instead, the dean and Christine’s parents decided that I was the problem and I cannot be in school with her. Christine’s mom wanted assault charges brought up against me and have me sent to juvenile court but that all fell through due to circumstances. 

So, now because Christine feels threatened, I need to fuck off.

And to make today even more annoying, just as I left school some white chick stopped to stare at me! Was she checking me out? I do not know, but if she was, I can’t blame her—I’m a bad bitch after all!

The therapist meeting goes off as boring as I would expect. This time I have a female therapist. A pretty one at that. Jet black hair, dark brown eyes, probably Hispanic, with very light skin. Beautiful.

Wait? Why does my face feel warm? Fuck! Don’t tell me I’m checking out the therapist like a blushing schoolgirl. I desperately want to shrink away and disappear, but my fat ass social worker is sitting in with me for a few minutes.

“Carlotta Weaver?” the hot therapist asked.

I instantly correct “That’s my slave name. Carlotta Delmonico is the name on my birth certificate”

I saw a light smile tug at her face. So, good. She likes jokes. Maybe this won’t be so bad—then Bertha had to fuck it up and talk like she matters.

“Carlotta has had trouble in high school. she’s been bullied and has retaliated harshly against those who have upset her. Her home life has greatly changed in two years. From her foster home to a sponsor’s house to a shelter. She’s been through a lot”

I glared at her and just looked down. Of course, she had to bring up Miles Prime. The prick who took Lonnie and me in after the Sue incident. The guy who should rightfully be in jail but isn’t because he offed himself before the court case could happen.

Luckily, this Greek Goddess of a therapist asked Bertha to leave so she and I can talk. 

The therapist officially introduced herself “Castaspella Angeles” and I can call her Casta or Mrs. Angeles if I prefer.

I took the opportunity to go with the first name. 

She pulled out a large sketch pad and opened up to a blank page and asked me “So, I heard her side, but I want to know your side. As you are very aware, I was recommended for you due to what I specialize in”

I commented “Yeah, I know you specialize in retards”

She jumped a bit and shook her head “First off, that’s not a word used anymore medically. Anyone still using that word is just a jerk. Secondly, I specialize in behavioral disorders such as ADD, ADHD, OCD, ODD, and high functioning autism”

I rolled my eyes “Well I’m a jerk with ODD and ADHD, so where does that leave me?”

Casta smiled at me “Well, it means your mind is constantly going, you have a mind that can dedicate to one interest and know everything about it, your mind is constantly questioning and thinking about the situations laid before you and how to get what you want. You are emancipated. You fought for that; you went through so much to have that”

I liked the compliments and the praise, but I couldn’t just take it all in. I like this lady, but not enough to let myself be myself in front of her yet. I gotta make sure she is legit. 

“So,” I begin, “You think having ODD and ADHD is awesome?” I leaned in a little closer to my seat. Rolling my eyes and not looking at her as I explain “Because getting yelled at by teachers and my foster mother sucked”

I thought I had her. 

If she tried to praise me for being mentally screwed up then I would take that from her, but this lady was good, was too freakin good, and just asked “It’s hard to accept compliments for you? isn’t it?”

Fuck.

Why should I fight her over this? She’s the smart one, so why fight her on it. 

I sigh in defeat “It is. No one thinks ADHD is a good thing. I got diagnosed at five and my foster mom was pissed. I hyper-focus on things no one cares about. I have goals and ideas for my future no one things I will ever have. My old therapist thought I was a narcissist and I have a personality disorder. Which is bullshit, I get good grades and teachers hate me for it. I can pass a test and still fuck with them in class for a week straight. My science teacher last year made me take tests in a separate classroom because he thought I was cheating. He was even more pissed to see me get an A on it. No one else likes me or makes me feel good about anything I do” I admit honestly, maybe too honest.

She places the sketchpad on her lap and asked “Let's write up a diagram of your life. We will make bullet points and archive it by age and incidents and we can figure out more about you”

I asked “We? I already know myself”

She offered “Well, I say we because I want to see things through your eyes and know what you see yourself as and what you want. For these sessions what would you like to accomplish?”

I replied and crossed my arms and said “I don’t want to be here, It’s required by the state as an emancipated minor, that I see a therapist”

Casta didn’t seem phased by that comment. This lady had one hell of a poker face, a really cute poker face.

She counters offered with “Well, then humor me with my position in your life and help me map out a timeline. Starting with your childhood”

“You want me to talk about my childhood?” I asked.

She nodded and took out her pen asking “how far can you go back for me? What are some of the first things you remember about your childhood? Any memories that stick out to you in particular?”

I leaned back on the couch and thought about it. Going back to when I was younger. Was it all bad? Yes, but not as bad as being a teen in that woman’s house. 

I took a breath and spoke “I know I was placed in the foster care system when I was a baby. My mom died when I was born. I don’t have any clue who my dad is, and I lived with Susan Weaver for my entire life up until I was sixteen. I had other foster siblings and friends. We all grew up and got treated like crap by sue. Until Kyle had his emotional breakdown and we got shifted around…..so,” I shrugged. I do not know what to talk about. I have so much to say about Sue and certain incidents, but nothing stuck out that felt appropriate to say to her right now.

She asked me “As a little kid did you have your toys clothes and room?”

I shook my head “We shared almost everything. We all had toys that were specific to us if they were donated. We grew up Jehovah and did not celebrate holidays and birthdays, so If we got stuff, it was from other people. Sue said it was to keep us grateful and humble, but I think the bitch was only plain cheap. We all shared bedrooms. The boys had the basement in the attic and the girls had the second floor. Sue’s bedroom slash office was in the living room and she spent a lot of time either on the back-patio smoking and in the living room”

Casta asked, “What toys did you have?”

My old stuff….. I didn’t have a lot but some things were mine “I had an Elmo doll, a Spanish Barbie named Teresa, and I used to have a stuffed monkey, but I gave that away to a friend who was leaving the foster home, so I had less stuff”

Casta wrote down something I could not see and asked me “What about clothes?”

I shrugged “We shared everything. We got made fun of a lot in middle school for stuff like that. I would wear a sweatshirt one day, but Lonnie would wear it next. People tried to lie and say we did not shower, which was bullshit since Sue hated smelly kids and we all showered. But when we got older and started going to the malls and stuff. Sue would get us to shoplift shoes or underwear and stuff”

She raised a brow. I forgot how fucked up Sue was for a moment until Casta clarified “Your foster mother would help you shoplift?”

I nodded “Clothes cost money, if we didn’t get stuff donated to us, or if things didn’t fit at the salvation army or other thrift shops, we would shoplift”

She then asked me “What time was this around?”

I hugged “I remember stealing my first pair of shoes at age five”

I saw the frown on Casta’s face become more defined. Either she is disgusted in me for being so casual about it or disgusted in a foster parent encouraging crime.

She asked, “Did it bother you, as a child to do this?”

I nodded “Yes because if you got caught, she wouldn’t care. One of the older boys named Zeke got caught and he got sent to juvenile hall. For a winter jacket! The bitch would not buy him a fucking jacket. It was either risk getting caught or freeze to death in the winter”

Casta looked at me and asked, “If she was frugal with your children, as they’re ever a chance at allowances or to make money on your own?”

I straightened up in my seat as I explained “Yes. The Jehovah community we were a part of as kids were pretty fucking weird. Like, they were cool with child labor. We would go and clean houses for money. She would drop us off at a house like a bunch of Mexicans and we would clean a room each or do stuff in a backyard or garage and get a dollar for it. So, if we did extra stuff we got extra money. I got into drawing, so I stole art supplies from school and started drawing making portraits or depictions from the book of Jehovah and sell them for money. Sue wouldn’t steal our money, but she wouldn’t stop any of the other kids from stealing, so I slept with my dollars hidden in my socks and underwear”

Casta seemed saddened by all I said. I don’t want to be pitied and I don’t want to be a downer, so I mentioned “It sucked, but being with other kids made it easier. People were nice to us as kids and gave us stuff. Sue is a monster, but in public, she acted as she cared and in those small moments she was motherly, and I was okay with that”

Casta asked, “Do you love her like a mother?”

\--

Well. 

That went worse than I thought as I looked at my puffy red eyes in Bertha’s vanity mirror in her car. Once she asked about Sue and if she ever loved me. I completely lost it. I cried. I tried to think of good times, kept remembering the abuse, and cried like a bitch-ass baby.

Casta concluded to me that I have been hurt by every adult and parental figure in my life and I was forced to not have a childhood, because of that I have walls and barriers that will make healthy relationships in my future difficult, but not impossible, she recommends I surround myself with positive people, but how can I?

Bertha is such a raging cunt she’s not even going to drop me off at the shelter because she doesn’t like the traffic, so she is dropping me back off at school, so I can take the after school program bus to the apartment complex near the shelter. 

Seriously!? How is this woman in the field of child protection when her fat ass won’t go down route 95 because of traffic!?

So…..

Here I am. Back at school. emptying my locker, and since no one is watching, might as well check to see if there is any good shit in anyone else’s locker, because—fuck them!

Waiting by the bleachers I saw the lacrosse team practice. 

The pretty blonde girl was good. She was by far the best player on the team and I could see the resentment from everyone. I heard the faint whispers from the girls on the side of the fence that they didn’t like how good the new girl was.

I heard them clearly say “She freaked out when I offered her weed and told the coach”

“What did the coach say?” I heard another girl ask.

The other girl laughed and said “She told her to not be a snitch”

I heard them laugh some more and I finally heard them call her by name.

Adora.

_Wait! Adora! The Adora? my Adora?!_

Back in therapy, Casta asked me about friends and my relationships with them. I told her about my first best friend and how much I cried over never seeing her again after being adopted. If this is the Adora from my past, then I need to say something to her. Maybe this can be one of those healthy and positive relationships Casta recommended.

I saw the two girls shuffle over the parking lot, but not after hearing them say “She came in a silver truck. Her car is nice. When she walks over, jump her ass”

I felt my heart sink a little as I heard that. 

Those two ugly sweater-wearing hoes are going to jump Adora because she did not smoke weed with them? Granted, snitches get stitches but still!

I looked at her run as I thought. She’s pretty. Super pretty. My stomach fluttered as I realized. 

I had to save her.

For the sake of an old friendship. Adora. I will kick two ugly bitches in the throat for you. 


	3. A Punk in sheeps Clothing

My mother gave me the worst news while I was in class today. I ignored her phone call but received a quick and distressed voicemail.

_“Adora got into a fight at Horde Grove! Two girls tried to attack her, and one girl tried to help her! On my way to talk to the coach! Your sister is on her way home. Very distressed and your father won’t be home until late and she needs comfort”_

Oh, Adora….. my little sister. What the heck has happened to you? I get it. The Mermista thing was a total bust and you feel rejected and embarrassed. All summer I tried to include you in things and you just had no part of it. You went from wanting to spend every second with me and my friends. Then the Mermista thing happens and you ghost us!

I can’t blame her. She can’t help it, she has autism, she is a sweety, and even though I’m driving down the highway speeding home for a two-hour drive, I can’t help it. She is my sister and she needs me.

Getting home from a long drive I wanted to go see Adora right away. Rushing past mom, who wanted to talk to me before going to see Adora. In my adrenalin, I couldn’t help but rush to see Adora first.

Opening up her door I asked “Adora!? Are you okay?” I looked around her bedroom to see the odd sight of someone would never expect sitting on my sister’s bed. _A little too close to my sister_. I saw the girl who sold me a bottle of Captain Morgan in August when I went out to party in with Perfuma at a house party. I remember her for saving such distinct eyes and for clearly charging us $40 for a $20 bottle. This girl was sitting next to my sister on her bed. In my house and my sister looked at me like I was an intruder. Her voice showing no pleasure to see me “Um, hey Glimmer?” She greeted and also questioned, “I thought you weren’t coming home this weekend?”

I saw the dirty look the girl was giving me showed I was not welcomed. Typically, Adora would rush to hug me, in front of this girl she didn’t even bother to stand up. 

_Seriously, Adora? no hug?_

I made my place clear to this mystery girl and walked over to hug my little sister and offered “Mom told me what happened, I came home to make sure you're okay. Mom told me about what happened, and I was worried, so I came over”

Adora pulled me off and questioned, “mom asked you to come home?”

I felt the other girl stare at me. 

I corrected “I wanted to come down after I heard what happened and I wanted to make sure you were okay”

Adora crossed her arms and huffed at me “I took karate, Glimmer, remember?”

I made a point to sit in between her and _what’s her name_ to show my loving concern as an older sister “I know about the karate classes, Adora. I was in them with you, I just want to know what happened?”

Adora explained to me. She was on her way to the truck (dad’s truck. She likes to drive dad’s Toyota Tacoma instead of mom’s mini cooper) she saw two girls leaning on her car. When she went over to ask what they were doing; one took a swing at her. Adora was able to sweep the girl's leg and another girl lunged at her, and that is when Catra—Catra from Adora’s past—came to tackle the other girl. The girl who got her leg swept ran off and the girl that Catra tackled to the ground elbowed her in the face hard enough to make Catra bleed and then she ran off. Adora being more worried over Catra then herself called for mom to help Catra. But mom only heard the words “A girl tried to hit me” and went to the school in a panic. She assumed Catra was the girl who attacked Adora and yelled at her. Adora had to assure that Catra wasn’t bad to mom and my mom—begrudgingly helped Catra with her bloody nose. 

Turning over to look at her—and yes, she was still giving me a dirty glare. I saw her nose did look a little messed up from when she got hurt. I didn’t show her any interest as I took Adora’s hand and pulled her off the bed. “I’m so glad your safe, Adora. Can I talk to you outside really quick?”

I pulled her out of her room. Opening the door I saw mom in the hall; eavesdropping, as expected. _I always suspected she did stuff like this to us_ and we both cornered Adora. I asked “Adora, do you know who that girl is?”

My mom seemed interested in what I had to say, but Adora cut me off to remind me “I just told you that was Catra, remember my friend from foster care, the one I missed a lot when I came here”

Mom asked “You are aware that the young lady is a troublemaker? When I spoke to the coach about your incident, she made it very clear that Carlotta is one for fights”

Adora’s eyes narrowed to mom “So what? You think she only stepped in to help me because she wanted to fight?”

Angella crossed her arms “I don’t know what to think, but I don’t like this situation. You are not to go back to that school for sports, I don’t care how badly you want to do lacrosse, it is not worth it for you to be placed in danger”

Adora crossed her arms “I didn’t want to go back anyways, the players at that school aren’t even good, no excuse me, please I have company over” she moved away from us, in the first time in her life she gave my mom an attitude. 

Angella then growled “I want that renegade hoodlum to leave, Adora. Now”

As she made her way back to her bedroom door, it opened and shit head—I mean Catra came out and said she should get going. She asked about the nearest bus stop and Adora offered to give her a ride home. 

My mother quickly denied that with “It’s late Adora, you shouldn’t be driving right now”

Adora turned to my mother with an offended expression. I saw the girl looked hurt by this. I couldn’t understand why.

My mom suggested “I’m sure she can call her parents and they can come to get her”

Adora looked angry at my mom and Catra commented “I don’t have parent…. I never got adopted, so I’m emancipated” she said with a shrug but with a sense of sadness in her voice. She started to step back from Adora as she mumbled “I’ll take the bus home, I’m good” as she turned to go downstairs. I saw mom’s face had a _I fucked up look_ was noticeably clear on it. Adora’s new face of I hates everyone I’m looking at making it clear to me and mom that we were not the good guys right now. She turned to head downstairs, and we could hear faint talking as the front door closed and Adora came back upstairs with a hurt expression on her face as she slammed her door. 

I walked over to try and open it, but she had locked it. I felt a little sad for her and also Catra. Mom spoke up “I just don’t feel she should be driving this later” she tried to justify. I corrected it’s only a little past nine, mom”

Adore creaked her door open and pulled me in. She looked upset. As she began to ask, “Why are you and mom acting like this?”

I defended “Acting like what? Worrying about you? That girl is trouble, Adora!”

“You don’t know her! You just met her!” she raised her voice. Something Adora never would ever do before. “She helped me today and all you and mom can do I think of is how bad she might be”

I let out a fake laugh as I stated “Oh, I know that girl is bad. She used to hang out at the college parties during the summer and sell booze to the underage college students” I said in triumph. Granted I was one of the suckers who paid her $40 for a bottle, but still, so did a lot of kids. Meaning, this girl had access to booze and I wasn’t going to let liquor touch Adora’s lips, the girl can't even drink a can a soda too fast or she’ll gag.

My mother swung the door open and asked for clarification “I’m sorry this girl sells liquor?” she stepped into Adora’s room and I could see Adora huff and faceplant on her bed. “Does she sell drugs too?” Mom asked. 

I shrugged “I think only booze”

Mom asked me “Have you bought anything from her?”

“Nope” I lied. I could tell mom didn’t believe me and then Adora groaned “I want you two to leave me alone”

“What was that?” My mother asked. Her temper starting to show. But Adora didn’t back down as she shot up to yell “Leave me alone!”

With that I grabbed mom so we could leave, mom was not happy with this, and I spent the whole night talking to mom about how worried she was about Adora. It was one of the exceedingly rare adult conversations we had together and regretfully it was at Adora’s expense. 

The next morning.

I got to see dad at the kitchen table. He had made breakfast for everyone. He took out the waffle maker and made us some super awesome chocolate chip waffles. 

Adora was happy but didn’t say much to me and mom. I could assume she must have heard us talk about her last night, but I can’t humor her and ask if she’s okay just going to snap again. 

Mom asked, “What is the occasion for all of this, love?” kissing him on the cheek. _Gross._

Dad turned to us and plated us up all on waffles as he told his story “I feel like showing my family love, it’s easy to forget how good we have it as a family,” he sat down next to mom and started to dress up his waffles in syrup “I was on my way back home from the office and I stopped by the gas station to get some chips, when I hear this girl—a teenager—had to of been Adora’s age, crying at the bus stop. The poor thing was at a friend’s house and the mother of her friend kicked her out and called her a hoodlum to her friend. She was so upset she left and when her friend offered to drive her home and the mom said no. She missed the last bus and was crying because she had to prepare herself for an hour and a half walk to her home”

Adora shot my mother the look of hatred as my mom most likely wanted to be anywhere else but here. Dad continued “I offered her a ride home, she was super scared of the idea of getting into a stranger’s car, which I can’t blame her. I comforted her and offered to pay for a cab to bring her home. She talked to her while the cab came, and she was on her way. So sad, she lived in a shelter and went out of her way to be nice a to a girl she barely knew just to get treated like dirt by the friend’s mother” dad shook his head and took a bite of his waffles. Once he finished, he commented, “Can you believe we live in a town where racism still exists?”

He took another bite as my mom and I looked over to Adora, who was without a doubt hating us right now. 

Then dad asked, “So, how was your night girls?”


	4. Chapter 4

“Grovel!” my husband demanded, placing the phone in my hand. 

I pushed it back into his palm “absolutely not!” I do admit I made an error, but I will not call a sixteen-year-old and say sorry for her accusing me of racism. I was not being racist! At my worst, I was standing offish to a troublemaker. I will not entertain the idea of saying sorry when she could have easily explained she lived far away. I would have driven her home if that was the case!

Micah would not hear my side out in the slightest and reminded me “If someone told Adora or Glimmer to take a bus home late at night, you would be furious. I think it’s only fair you talk to this girl”

I huff. “I hate that your making me call her”

Micah had the phone up to his ear “Hm? Oh, sorry, I was just calling Carlotta”

I groan. How awkward will it be to say sorry to a teenager, who accused me of racism?

Micah looked at his screen “Hey, Carlotta? How are you?” he was face timing her. Great.

I heard the voice on the other line sounding somewhat sweeter than what I had heard from her yesterday.

“I’m okay, thank you—I, uh, can pay you back for the cab Wednesday when I get my paycheck from work, or I can do some odd job for you to call it good. I told you I can draw and stuff, I can also paint”

My husband smiled at her “You don’t need to do all that, I promise, It was my pleasure, thank you for exchanging numbers with me and letting me know you got home safely last night. I was worried about seeing someone your age walking around that late at night”

_Okay, I get it! I messed up, Micah!_

I heard Catra assure him she was fine. “Sorry about not getting in your car, I’ve, uh, not had the best experience with adults, y’know….”

He nodded and confirmed “Don’t worry sweetheart. I respect you not getting into a stranger’s car. I have a daughter your age, and speaking of which, remember the racist lady you met last night?”

_Micah, you would not dare!_

“Yeah?” I heard her voice go slightly worried.

“I know her, she’s with me right now—look—my wife—Angella” he then quickly passed the phone to me so I could facetime the teen. I was left shocked. Here I was with no makeup, having my screen show me at an unflattering facial angle as I saw the young lady. Looking slightly disheveled, no makeup and her nose looking slightly worse than yesterday.

I saw her glare at me. 

I felt a bit of shame in my past words as I greeted her “Hello, Carlotta”

She coldly replied “Hi”

I cleared my throat “Yesterday we didn’t see each other at our best and I would like to—”

She cut me off and reminded me “I defended Adora from being jumped and you don’t think that is me being my best person?”

I stammered “No—no I wasn’t implying that I was just making it clear that seeing you fighting was something you most likely wouldn’t want someone seeing you do”

She rolled her eyes at me “Yeah, okay, let’s go with that”

Before I could finish my apology, she confirmed to me “Look, I don’t have Adora’s number or anything, and I’m not going to show up at your place and bother you, you guys live too far away from me. So, you don’t have to make a fake apology to make yourself feel better, Cuz I’ not going to bother you, okay?”

I was left speechless as she looked away from me on the phone and just repeated “Okay” and hung up. 

_She hung up on me! Before I could apologize._

I looked up at my husband, who was giving me a look of disapproval. 

I defended myself by handing him back the phone “She didn’t want to hear me out, so I did no wrong at this time” I said leaving the bedroom. 

I walked past Adora’s bedroom to see she wasn’t there. I saw Glimmer was gone too, I looked outside to see Glimmer’s Toyota Camry was gone and I huffed. 

Everyone is mad at me and doesn’t want to talk to me.

If I want to fall back into good favor with my daughter and husband, I need to make things right with Catra.

\--

_How does someone that nice marry someone like that!?_

I appreciate that Micah guy for what he did. He didn’t need to be nice to me, but he was, and I am grateful for him. It’s crazy, for years I always wanted to know about Adora. What happened to her? What was her life like after she got adopted? Part of me never wanted to believe that she became a snob because of her rich parents. But Micah is so chill, so maybe he is the reason she is still nice as I remember. When I saw her yesterday, it felt like we were never apart. She lived only half an hour away from me and I never ran into her for almost ten years. 

But now, I know her mom is the problem. Angella was always the problem from the beginning. She kept us apart. I bet if Adora had her way she would have never stopped talking to me. 

I wish I could be in Adora’s life, but with her mom being—well—her mom, I really shouldn’t. 

I wish I could have my first best friend back. 

Why am I so sad over her? With all the things that have happened to me? With all the people who have hurt me? Why am I so sad I can’t hang out with her? I have a list of other people in my life who care:

Scorpia! My real genuine second-best friend I met in sophomore year after I beat up a bully at her parent’s deli. Her parents! Who has been super nice to me during our entire friendship, even knowing what I came from?

Entrapta! Granted she is more of Scorpia’s other best friend, has always been nice to me. Hell, she even helped me hack into Miles's security system to his liquor store, so I could rob his pedo ass.

Those are people who are in my life by choice. According to my therapist, Those are the people I should love and treasure.

But why do I want all the other shitty people in my life?

Sue? I want some type of closure and validation from her? Does she miss me? Does she care? Is she sorry?

Lonnie? Will we ever be friends again? Do you miss me?

Miles? What was his deal? And why do I still care? 

It’s just hard…….

Why do I let myself get this down?

Just as I was getting caught in my feelings, I got a text notification on my phone. 

Scorpia?

No.

Some numbers I’ve never seen before and the text wrote.

**Unknown:** Hey it’s Adora. You met my dad last night at a gas station. My mom gave me your number to me. Is that okay?

My heart skips a beat. I think? Why am I so happy about this text?

I respond

**Me:** That’s cool. How are you?

**Adora:** I’m okay. Thank you again for everything yesterday.

**Me:** It's cool

**Adora:** I’m sorry about my mom. My dad told her she needs to say sorry, she did apologize, right?

_Wow, the big guy let his wife have it._

**Me:** she did. It's fine.

 **Adora:** Are you busy today? Do you want to hang out? If yes, then I can use my dad’s truck to pick you up and drop you off. If no, It's okay. No pressure.

_This girl_

**Me:** I would like to but I got to go to work soon

**Adora:** How about tomorrow?

**Me:** I work again. I work on the weekends.

**Adora:** Where do you work?

**Me:** Gals Café & Deli on West Evens street. 

**Adora:** Can I stop by and see you later?

**Me:** I get off late. Your welcome to stop by.

_My heart feels so fluttery right now. I don’t know why I’m so excited to see her_. 

She replied with asking about what time is okay to stop by and reply after my shift at 5pm. She sends me a smiley face emoji and I feel like I might be blushing over it. Why? I mean….. am I starting to crush on her? No! I can’t be, we were best friends as little kids. Just because she is beautiful does not mean I need to go crushing on her now! That would be so awkward. 

I get ready for my day. At a shelter for women, we call to sign up on a dry erase board who gets to shower at what time. But, since I live with women who have children, they all break that rule because _“My kids”_ bullshit. So stupid Laura has her two-year-old showering during my scheduled time. The shelter admins don’t do much except remind her that the schedule is up for a reason. Technically it's all like dorm showers, so multiple people can shower at a time, but some women still lock the door so no one can enter for privacy reasons and staff is too scared to step up to anyone about their bullshit. I let her know she could have made me late and she tries the whole “My daughter got messy” excuse on me and I tell her “Your daughter is always messy after you feed her! Learn to feed your kid right!” as a few onlookers snort at my snap. Granted Laura is a little prissy feel sorry for me a woman and just storms off and mumbles how I wouldn’t understand because I’m still a kid myself. Whatever lady.

I take a super-fast shower and leave for the bus stop with no makeup on. Which isn’t so bad, since I work in the back of the deli anyways. I don’t like people enough to work at the register like Scorpia or her mom’s. 

I start my day off at work like normal. I prep for the lunch rush. Make a bunch of online and catering orders. Prep up the soups and mini pizzas for take-out and then I slice up cheese and meat for my prep. I have a talent for this kind of stuff. I’m good at working in the back of the house. Last time I worked register I almost cursed out a creepy guy who asked for my number. 

Now for the next few hours, I’m just making sandwiches and having Cheryl ask me about Door Dash orders. She’s sweet. She’s Scorpia’s biological mom. A short and petite woman with a blonde bob cut. Her wife Mandy looks more like Scorpia; a tall woman with jet black long hair she wears up, she has Scorpia’s broad shoulders and her big tits. They are super pretty for a middle-aged gay couple. Or maybe they are younger than middle age? I don’t know. All I know is Mandy is in her forties. 

I hear some faint chatter in the front. Part of me wants to see what they are talking about. I like to be included, but I also don’t want to overstay my welcome. Scorpia and her family were kind to me. I should be grateful to be around. Part of me has mixed feelings though…..

I want to be around them more. I like hanging out with Scorpia, but I know she kind of has a crush on me. I can’t string her along. I know they are super generous, but they end up being total suckers to anyone. Just last summer they hosted a catering gig for a church and the church and they’re shady _no tax-paying asses_ burned them for the entire bill and they didn’t do anything about because “Y’know, church communities can be aggressive” and I wanted to tell those people off for doing that to them. I’m not afraid of church people! I was raised Jehovah! I would look at Jesus in the face and tell him to get his crew to fix their shit. I like them so much, but I’m afraid. I’m afraid of getting to close to them, too cozy. I can hang out with Scorpia every day if I wanted to. Sleepover more, eats their food, take them up on any gesture of kindness they offer, but I know that’s not right. They gave me a job. I should be grateful enough for that. They didn’t even have to, just because I beat some douche bag up for swiping their tip jar last September doesn’t mean they are in my debt or anything. The tip jar only had eight bucks in it, but it was the principle of the matter. 

Ever since then, they have been nice to me. Scorpia doesn’t even go to Horde Grove, she goes to Brightmoon as Adora does. Entrapta is homeschooled and also is taking college classes. She will have an MBA before her high school diploma because she is so smart, and here I am, Living in a shelter on the other side of town. Constantly worrying about missing city buses to get back and forth places, and always stressed about money. If it wasn’t for this weekend job. Selling stolen booze to dumb rich kids, and drawing for people, I would be homeless and fucked. 

Scorpia came into the back to ask me something. She looked kinda ticked off and a little uneasy. “Hey, uh… by chance do you know someone named Adora?”

I turned to answer “Yeah?”

She pointed to the door and said “She is out in the dining room waiting for you”

Oh.

My face feels warmer now. Great Now I feel shy.

I walked out to see her. I was a little worried to have company, but Cheryl seemed a little _too_ happy to see me have a friend ask for me. I told Adora I was off soon, and she offered to give me a ride home. I felt bad at shift change when I told Scorpia I was leaving, and she looked a little mad.

I spent time with Adora before school and a little after. She told me her mom said it was okay if I slept over one of these weekends. Though it was a nice gesture, I really wouldn’t ever want to take her up on it. 

The next day we hung out after work. I went over to her house for dinner for Sunday. I mentally screamed. I didn’t want to do this. I wish it was just me and Adora, alone. But her mom, sister, and dad were going to be sitting with us, watching us, watching me, and probably interrogating me. I know that mom of hers will, with her fake ass fancy accent. I bet she isn’t even from England.

I went home to the shelter to take a quick scheduled shower. Since I was following the rules like a normal functioning adult—I, of course, get bothered with a five-year-old asking me through the shower curtain “Where are you going Cat?” _I get called Cat by most people._ I tell her I’m going off to a friend's house and the kid's mom walks in and says sorry for her kid running into the community bathroom. 

I was hoping it was just Adora who was picking me up, but it turned out to also be her dad. Her dad is cool. He asked how I was doing and how was work. I tried to make small talk. I didn’t want to talk about myself, I got him to talk about lawyer stuff. I think he could tell I didn’t want to talk about me, since he was nice, and we were able to not talk about anything me related for the whole 10-mile ride. 

When we got to her house, I got an actual house tour this time. I saw her mom again. Fake ass. Trying to make small talk with me. I don’t like this woman, but I tried to be cool. When she asked, “How are you doing?”

I replied with “Fine”

Micah gestured for me and Adora to sit down at the dinner table. I instantly feel worried as I forgot a cardinal rule of eating at people's houses and that was the number one fact that _White people food sucks_. I dreaded whatever weird concoction Angella was going to make. Judging by her slender and fit body she was most likely one of those gluten-free, no MSG, no fatty foods kind of mom. I regret not eating at work, because I don’t like the thought of eating bland salad with some hummus or other bullshit food white women decide to ruin.

I could smell something good in the air. Something familiar. 

Angella turned to me and smiled as she said “I made fresh chicken tenders with macaroni and cheese”

My eyes went wide. I must have smiled or looked too happy because she looked happy too. I’ll let her have this win since she didn’t make me eat something dumb. 

Adora and I sat next to each other and ate. Angella commented about “This has been something of a favorite for Adora ever since she was a little girl, was it yours?”

Is she trying to get to know me?

I answered “Yeah, sorta, we all had our own thing that we liked more for dinner. I liked rice and beans or rice and spam”

_Oh God! Now I just sound like a Hispanic stereotype!_

Micah commented, “Ever had Spam sushi?”

“I didn’t know that was a thing” I reply.

He then tells me about the time they went to Hawaii and lived off spam sushi rolls and cola turkey clubs.

Angella commented, “Didn’t that give you food poising?”

Micah turned to her with a smirk “No but it gave you diarrhea” he said before taking a bite. 

I covered my mouth to hide the laugh I was trying to hold in. I like this guy, he knows how to blow this woman’s spot up with no mercy. I could tell by the way she looked over to me that she could tell and she was at least mildly embarrassed. Adora seemed oblivious as she threw her mom under the bus some more with “Mom has a sensitive stomach she—”

“Adora.” her mother said flatly.

Adora didn’t seem to get it. 

We went on to talk about other things food-related until school came up. Angella asked me “So what is a school like for you? Adora is in honors classes and is a part of several groups and communities. Do you take part in school activities?”

Is she trying to get to know me or interrogate me?

I answer “I get good grades. Honor role. Basic classes, I used to do sports, but I go to a vocational school and I work after school and on the weekends, so I don’t have extra time for extra school stuff,” I shrug. I feel like a spotlight is on me. I don’t know how to deal with this. 

She then asks “How many hours do you work?”

I answer “I work about 16-20 hours a week”

She then cleared her throat a little as she asked another question. This one was not much of her asking a curious question but more of an explanation. 

“I know you said you were emancipated,” I saw her eyes dart to her husband who instantly frowned. _I frickin love how this guy does not stand for any of her shit_. She then looked back to me “If I may ask, what made you come to that life decision?”

I looked down at my food quickly. I think she took this as a sign of weakness. She instantly remarked “You don’t have to tell me anything you prefer not to”

I hear Adora growl “Mom!”

No. Fuck it. If she feels she is entitled to know, then find. I will tell her.

I look at her and shake my head “No, it's fine I can explain it” I move my plate away from me “I wanted it, so when I turned sixteen, Sue let me go through the emancipation process. Housing for minors is limited so I live in a shelter because it was the best and safest option for me. I have state medical in case I ever need a doctor, I do see a therapist and I check in with my social worker regularly. It is state-mandated that I either stay in school or get a GED. I prefer to stay in school. I have goals to go to college and start my hair and makeup salon, so that is why I take a vocation class. I have to pay for that. I am responsible for all my bills, like my cellphone, which is prepaid, I work at the deli on the weekends and I do painting, drawing, and house cleaning for extra money on the side. I make just enough to get by and I save money every week and put it into my savings account. I’m under eighteen so I’m not on welfare, food stamps, or anything like that since I do live on my own I can go to the food pantries to get food and toiletries if needed and I can request help from my social worker if I ever need anything else, but I’m independent and self-efficient. I paid for my laptop and drawing tablet in full by saving for a whole year on my own. So, I feel like I’m doing everything right”

I took a small breath. I info dumped a lot in a short amount of time. I looked over to Adora nervously. Fearing she might judge me or be disappointed in my actions. Looking back at Angella she seemed to have let it all sink in. I feel like I said too much. She had her elbows rest on the table as her chin rested on her palms. It was a very anime-like sitting position, or a villain sitting in the evil layer. She wanted to ask me more. 

_Yes. This is an interrogation._

I thought she was going to say something mean or condescending. My last therapist questioned why I couldn’t just _behave_ myself until I turned eighteen. I wish I could have just said I made this decision myself and left it at that. I shouldn’t have gone into my little independent speech. I must look like an insecure child or one of those guys who has a small dick and they buy a giant truck to make up for it.

She just looks at me and but doesn’t question me anymore. She just takes it all in. She doesn’t push any further than that and just lets the conversation go back to more normal things. She excuses herself first from the table and Micah leaves to and that gives me and Adora time to talk alone until it’s time for me to leave. 

Angella has her purse in her hand as she declares she will take me home. This sucks because I kind of wanted to use Adora taking me home as an excuse to give her a good night peck on the cheek and play it off as something innocent and friendly. Maybe, Angella taking me home now was a good idea, since now I want to kiss Adora. 

Hating the fact, I can feel myself blush as I say goodbye to Adora, and I think she blushed back made it awkward as her mom was looking at us. 

As soon as I got in the car, I felt the tension and figured she wanted to talk to me alone. A slight bit of anxiety came over me, without Adora or Micah around, she can be mean to me if she wanted to and no one would know. 

She sighed out a bit as she commented “That was nice. Adora was looking forward to you coming over all day” her voice seemed sincere. 

I replied with “Yeah, I was looking forward to it too,” I didn’t know what else to say. I feel nervous. This is a thirty-two-minute drive and we’re only just one minute in. She was quiet for a few minutes before she spoke again “You did answer my questions from earlier, those were very personal and I appreciate that you shared that without having to, so I feel it is only fair that you can ask me anything and I answer” she looked at me for a second before looking back at the road. “I know you must have some questions for me?”

She gave me this unlimited platform and the first thing I ask is “Is it true you punched Sue in the face?” 

_WHY! Why did I make that the first question!?_

She laughed a little as she shook her head. “It was an altercation. Yes. But for actually walking up to her and punching her? No. I wish I did, but she and I were arguing over Adora and she shoved me and I shoved her back and swatter her mouth for calling me a wanker and a cunt. So I slapped her in the mouth and my wedding ring cut the side of her lip. It wasn’t as intense as the police report made it out to be”

_Dude!? She bitch-slapped Sue!_

My eyes went wide as that thought sank in. I guess it makes sense. Sue didn’t look so hurt when she got home, but I stood by her side to take care of her. So maybe she made it out to be more then what it was to be pampered.

She confessed to me “Adora was beyond upset when she came to live with us. She opened up and cried about missing you so much. You were her best friend”

I smiled and looked down at my lap. It’s good to know Adora missed me as much as I missed her. I used to cry all the time about missing Adora and I would get in trouble for it or tease by the bigger kids. 

Angella then teased “She also said you two were married” she laughed a little as she sad “Adora became very cross with Glimma after she explained pretend weddings don’t count”

I could tell she was smiling, but I was not going to look at her. My face was feeling warm thinking about it. I and Adora did have a backyard ceremony when we were five. We got ring pops and exchanged vows to be best friends forever. Then I think we played power rangers after that. Come to think of it. I think Lonnie was our officiant. But she didn’t know what the word was and she called herself the _wedding person_. 

I stuttered out some weak quip to dodge the embarrassing memory “We played ninjas right after. We were little kids” 

She kept smiling at me. We’re still only five minutes into this drive back to my place and I look at her and ask. “W—what else did Adora?”

She kept her eyes on the road and coyly replied “I wouldn’t want to embarrass my daughter too much. She spoke often of you. Glimma tried to fill your role as a sister and friend but their dynamic is different from yours and Adora’s. I’m happy you two reunited. I wished Sue allowed me to set you both up for playdates, but she declined the offer number times”

I looked at her and said “Sue said that you didn’t want Adora around me”

Angella glanced at me and corrected “I always asked for you. I tried to convince Adora’s social worker at the time to have Sue agree but Sue and even the social worker wouldn’t work with me”

I threw my head back and sighed “I hate social workers. Mine wants me to drop out and go to the adult learning center closer to her house so she doesn’t have to commute to do her visits on me”

Angella looked at me for a second “Really? That’s awful”

I nodded “Yeah, and she doesn’t even care about me going to cosmetology school. She told me it’s a waste of time and money”

Angella scoffed “Well, they have no right to criticize your ambitions” she glanced over and me and complimented “Not many young ladies can say they work, go to high school and vocational school at the same time” she paused “You should be proud of yourself. You’re a good kid”

Part of me felt she was sincere and another part of me worried that she was lying to sound nice. If Adora likes me and misses me, I doubt this lady wants her daughter to be mad at her if she doesn’t want me around.

I look at her and ask “Then why when you saw me on Friday you called me a hoodlum? I feel like that is a fair question to ask”

She doesn’t miss a beat when she replies “Probably because when I drove up to check on my daughter I was greeted by you holding your bloody nose and saying “who the F are you?” to me and then telling the coach to suck your nonexistent dick for being a—and I will quote you directly “a pussy” for not stepping up to those hoes” 

She looked at me with a brow raised and I felt like shrinking into nothing. I didn’t set a good first impression. I did talk a lot of shit after the incident happened. 

She cleared her throat “I do apologize for being unfriendly when you were in my home. I should not judge you on that merit and I should have offered you a ride home. I wished you told me you lived a long while away”

I kept my eyes “Yeah, I know I should’ve said something. I just figured even if I told you, you would still want to me to leave”

She frowned as she replied “I’m sorry you felt that way”

I wanted to ask about Adora’s school. BrightMoon Academy is a private school. It makes sense that a doctor and lawyer would afford to put her through private school. Scorpia goes there too but her parents have scholarships and they don’t have a lot left after paying. 

I think the only right thing to do is say “Sorry I called you a racist”

She shrugged “Well, sorry I made you feel I was” she glanced over at me again “I have a habit as coming off as intense to some people. My two dearest friends and colleagues of mine hated me as their boss when I worked for Etheria Medical. They used to wish I got fired, then when I left the company, they ended up following me to my private practice to work under me. I calmed down a lot after adopting Adora. according to my family, I’m still intense. My oldest and my sister-in-law claim I have _resting bitch face_ ”

I laughed at that “People say I have that too”

Angella laughed “If only people took the time to know me more, they would realize I’m not so bad”

“Same here” I reply.

I think I like Angella now. Not like the way, I like Adora, but she’s pretty chill. I mean, she punched Sue and knows she can be a bitch but is also a boss. She’s the kind of person I want to be. A woman who takes no shit.

Yeah, I do. I do like her now. 


	5. A Mess

**Carlotta:** Well my life is officially over.

**Scorpia:** Why? What happened? Are you okay?

**Carlotta:** Turns out fighting off Charissa Fortnite from attacking Adora, only lands her with a suspension and me with expulsion.

**Scorpia:** They can't do that! that’s not fair!

**Carlotta:** Well, it turns out they dug up my entire student record and said I am a “Clear threat” to students and according to the principle, teachers are afraid of me. So I got the boot. The advanced learning option for me is off the table. I need to find a different school to take me.

**Scorpia:** What about Pecabloom? 

**Carlotta:** They declined. They don’t want me in mainstream classes, and neither will Mystacor High or Flutterina High take my application due to getting into fights.

**Scorpia:** What does your social worker think?

**Carlotta:** Oh, that bitch! Her fat ass is happy because it means I can enroll in the adult learning center near the CFS office and she doesn’t need to commute to see me anymore.

**Scorpia:** what about the shelter?

**Carlotta:** The deal is, I have to be in school to receive housing from the state. So, I don’t know what will happen if the Shelter finds out I’m expelled.

**Scorpia:** How about you move in with me?

**Carlotta:** Uh, your parents have to agree to that. Plus, I do not want to be a mooch. 

**Scorpia:** My parents would say yes.

\--

I ran to my mom Mandy to tell her the good/bad news. 

Have you ever been so in love with someone—when the first time you saw them you knew they were _the one_ and because they are _the one_ and you know you need to do everything and anything for them. Carlotta came into my life like a knight in shining armor—even though it was a ripped pair jeans and a crop top—she rushed to my side when two guys and a girl from my old middle school were being rude to me and my mom Cheryl. They ran out with our tip cup. Cat rushed after them and got it back. Cops were called and Cat was our hero. Ever since then we were best friends. 

As a friend, I need to be here for her the way she is for me. 

I told my mom Cheryl everything. Carlotta is expelled. She needs to stay in school, she might need a place to stay and we need to be there for her. 

My mom didn’t exactly give me the response I hoped for……..

\--

I instantly regretted telling Scorpia about my situation. Even worse—I told Adora and she started crying. I forgot she was so sensitive. Was she always so sensitive? I always remembered me being the cry baby, not her. Either way, I’m screwed. The good news is I have the rest of the day off until I go to work later. I lay back on my bed. Take a short nap and head to work.

Just what I should have expected I get rushed like a football player for hugs from Cheryl and Mandy. Not that I mind the affection, I just hate that it is out of pity. I try to start my work shift as normal. I try to prep but I am bombarded with questions. 

“Am I okay?”

“Do I need anything?”

“Will I need a place to stay?”

“What is my school plan?”

I hate the questions. I want to cry about it. I am more freaked out then I lead on, but I wish I could just handle it on my own. When I see my therapist tomorrow, I’ll bring all this up. 

I do my best and hide out and prep soups for the to-go menu. If I look like I’m crying I can lie and say its because I’m chopping onions. I can still hear them talking. I put my earbuds in to pretend I can’t hear anyone. Mandy ask me another question when she comes to the back “I know your upset, but I want to talk to you about the housing situation”

I turn to her and deny the problem “It’s cool, I’ll figure something out. I got a whole week to decide on something and I can work through this” I turn back to prep before she could see my eyes tearing up. I’m scared. My social worker has offered me no help. She is encouraging the worst for me. If I can’t get enrolled in a high school fast I might need to go homeless. 

I think Mandy took the hint I was upset because all she did was pat my shoulder and tell me It was going to be okay. 

\--

I had to drop the subject for Carlotta’s comfort. It doesn’t take a genius to see she didn’t even have her earbuds plugged into anything, nor was she too busy to talk. But she is a sensitive girl and needed some space. The poor baby. She doesn’t deserve to go through this. She is a sweet girl. She just has—and I say this with love—shit social skills. I blame that demon of a foster mother for ruining this child. My only option now was to make some choices. Firstly, we can offer her housing, that is the easy part. Closest schools to use are Brightmoon or Fluttering. We can ask to sponsor Catra to see if Brightmoon will take her. Money has been good this year, so maybe if we can get some scholarships for her, we could make a way to come up with the rest of the bill?

I asked Cheryl to start a sponsor application for Carlotta. 

All I had to do was submit for a form to be seen with the school board on sponsoring a student. I did not like the fact that the second I logged into my parent portal for the school; I was reminded of an upcoming charity auction and that Scorpia’s October tuition payment was due soon.

After applying I made sure to print out Cat’s application part for her to fill out. All she needs to do in an essay and make a skilled portfolio. A bit much, but hey, this is a private school and we had to do it for Scorpia, so it only makes sense. 

I came back to hand them to her, but she was already gone. She asked to go on break. Something she never does while she is here. I peaked out in the parking lot to see a grey Toyota truck and in it was Catra being hugged by some cute blonde girl with a ponytail. I assume this is the infamous Adora. 

I peaked over the to the cash register to see my sensitive daughter look out threw the window angrily. The truck isn’t parked outside the front of the building, but off to the side. Scorpia knows what is going on. Carlotta is seeking comfort from someone other than her. I know this must hurt baby….. I know what it’s like to fall for your knight in shining armor—or in Carlotta’s case a knight in ripped jeans and shitty bike.

I place my hand on Scorpia’s shoulder. She just looks down at the register. We do not have to exchange words. She knows I know. I think Cheryl does not. she’s team _Scorptra_ as she calls it. 

It doesn’t take too long for me to get an email from someone on the committee board for enrollment. For the amount of money we pay for that school we damn well better get fast responses. 

An email from

_Dr. Angella E. Brighton_

_Madeline Danvers, We are always grateful to other parents reaching out into the community to help support the growth of the Brightmoon Academy family. As a member of the board, I would like to extend an invitation for a meet up so we may discuss Carlotta Delmonico’s application. I know time is of the most haste, so I will place a motion for the assembly board to make time Friday for an interview with the young miss Delmonico. Is it appropriate for us to open further dialogue via a phone call?_

I think Dr. Brighton is a British lady. She’s the last person I would want to talk to. She’s the meanest of the board members. She has made it very clear in her passive letters to parents who don’t participate in functions that we are _Not Supporting_ the Academy name. But I will push my feelings aside for Carlotta. She’s the one that needs this. 

I respond with yes. 

A minute later I receive a text; from Angella, If she can meet with me in person today. I shouldn’t be his nervous to meet with someone I have spoken to yearly for almost four years for my daughter’s admission. Luckily Cheryl: my darling wife is busy running errands and won’t have time to panic over Dr. Brighton’s visit. 

An hour later I was standing outside waiting for Dr. Brighton. I took a look back at my café and felt some sense of ease. Fresh mulch, the sidewalk is clean, we just repainted the front door. It gives a good impression, right?

I turned to see a black Toyota Avalon pull into the parking lot. Judging by that fancy car, I knew it must be her. It would make sense for a doctor to have a nice car. The person who got out of the car was to be expected. Someone posh and elegant. I looked down worrisome at my attire. A black chef coat and checkered chef pants and crocs. I was far from the sight of beauty compared to her, I worried she would be in a dress, skirt, or suit. To my relief she was casual. Yoga pants, designer running sneakers, Gucci sunglasses and purse, and North Face sweatshirt. 

Okay, This might be the gay in me, but Angella is HOT!

I greet her politely and she smiles at me and says “I’m sorry if this is short notice, will your boss be cross with me intruding on your shift. 

I frown instantly. She doesn’t even know we own this place. What the heck was the point of Scorpia writing all those essays and one of the only six board members doesn’t know we are a small business family. Aren’t they the ones who have to read them?

I shake my head “No, I am the owner. I can step away. Scorpia and Carlotta are running the shop for me as we speak”

I see her face morph to what I have to assume is an embarrassment because she stammered an apology. If this was about me I would have been petty and reminded her of all of Scorpia’s essays and projects dedicated to our family business, but this wasn’t about us, this was for Carlotta. 

The conversation was a serious one. Carlotta has good things in her favor going for her. She will pass the arts and performance exam with ease. She’s an artist and goes to beauty school, so that will be an easy way to impress her way into acceptance. As a child of poverty and no parents, she can be offered grants and scholarships through the state and possibly earn some through the school upon attending. We offered that Catra can live with us and that cuts tuition in half. Even with that tuition is still going to need to come out of pocket. She explained to me that even if grants are approved it still won't cover Carlotta’s expenses. I offered if I can cover a portion of the tuition, would that make things easier for Carlotta.

She seemed taken back by that gesture. She averted her eyes as she cleared her throat “That’s a kind gesture. Your family has always made tuition payments on time…. It is a large sum of money to potentially kiss away”

I crossed my arms “How much would we _kiss away?_ ”

She paused as she exhaled through her nose “Potentially $7,000-$10,000 dollars”

My butt cheeks clenched at this. Reduced tuition and scholarships for Scorpia have still drained us of $10,000 a year for tuition. Her monthly school payments almost match our mortgage monthly and If we pony up money for Carlotta, we will be taking some major financial hits. 

I think she can tell I am internally shitting myself as she placed her hand on my shoulder. “Will try and look into more financial options for Catra”

“Catra?” I question. Never heard that nickname before. She explained “Sorry” she shrugged. “She raised in the same foster care home as my adopted daughter. That was the nickname my Adora gave her when they were very little”

My face fell a little “Oh, so you are aware of what type of person Sue Weaver is?”

She sadly nodded “I do. I know Catra has been through so much”

I looked over to the door and nodded “She is such a sweet girl. Sue has hurt her so much and so did that awful man Miles”

She then asked “Miles?”

I turned to her “Has she ever mentioned him?”

She shook her head. 

I didn’t want to give out Carlotta’s business and explained “He was not a good man to her. He was the placement housing provider for her and some other emancipated teenagers”

She looked a little stunned as it must have accrued to her that the name is famous for something dark. 

She asked me “Miles; as in Miles Prime?”

I nodded. Miles Prime was someone who helped teens and abuse victims get housing. He housed many teens. Sometimes six or seven at a time. Mostly teenage girls. It came out that he was inappropriate to them and when police came to look for him, he had shot himself. Images of questionable aged girls were found in flash drives, and hidden cameras were found all over the house in the showers and the teenagers’ bedrooms. It was something so recent as of last year and it shook the town to its core. Many people wondered how a man like him could have ever existed in plain sight. A man surrounded by teenage girls and no one ever found it strange? Catra was always extremely limited to what she shared about him.

Angella then assured me she will do anything she can to help. She offered for us to continue the conversation over email during the week. 

I agreed and we left things at that.

I know Carlotta is not my kid. I know I’m overstepping a boundary but I can't just sit by and watch a child being treated this way. Her social worker should be doing a better job. I feel with Angella on my side I can do right for Carlotta in a way no other adult has done before. Even if I’m just a boss or her friend’s mom, I should try to do right by her. 

\--

**Catra:** So….. my boss is trying to get me into your school. She says my situation has a chance and I need to fill out scholarship applications and write an admissions essay

**Adora:** That is awesome. We might be in classes together.

**Catra** : That’s only if I get accepted. No guarantee.

**Adora:** why wouldn’t they accept you? you're amazing

**Catra:** I have fought on my school record and I have been to juvenile court for shoplifting. 

**Adora:** So, can’t you get that erased?

**Catra** : When I turn 18, and that isn’t until the end of October. 

**Adora** : When is your birthday?

**Catra:** October 28th

**Adora:** Mine is January 19th.

**Catra:** Oh cool! I’m older than you

**Adora:** I’m taller than you

**Catra:** Yeah, and you grew up to be prettier

**Adora:** What? No way. You are super beautiful

**Catra:** I am not pretty

**Adora:** I think you are. You have nice skin. You don’t have acne. Your freckles are cute. Your eyes are cool and you have thick brown pretty hair.

**Catra:** Wow, your super into my looks then

**Adora:** Did that come off as creepy. Sorry.

**Catra:** No, sorry! I liked it. I usually don’t get compliments like that. Someone like you must get them all the time.

**Adora:** My family thinks I’m pretty. Some boys do. Glimmer says I look like the poster child to a Hitler’s Youth campaign. 

**Catra:** Lol. Your sister sounds like she’s jealous. What about these boys that say your pretty?

**Adora:** Boys have always wanted my attention. Even when I first moved to this side of town. I never really cared for their attention.

**Catra:** Never cared? You never had a crush on someone.

**Adora:** Recently. It ended badly. I told them I liked them and they laughed at me and said I was too much like a little sister to them

**Catra:** Wow. That’s fucked up. Fuck that guy!

**Adora:** She…….

**Catra:** Sorry. I didn’t mean to assume. It’s cool that you are gay. Your fun, smart, and pretty, any girl you like will love you as a girlfriend.

**Adora:** whelp. She didn’t.

**Catra:** That’s because she didn’t deserve you. 

**Adora:** Deserve me? Catra I’m an orphan that got lucky and got adopted by a helicopter mom, a sister who I have nothing in common with, and a dad who is just as overly protective as my mom and sister. And I have autism to boot. Who would want to deal with that?

**Catra:** First, I will restate how beautiful and amazing you are, secondly your sexual orientation or autism doesn’t define you. Your Adora! the athletic girl who is good at school and people like! No one can or should make you feel like anything less. One girl laughing at you should not break your heart. Your 17, what happens if the love of your life walks into your life today? Won't that be better than that old crush of yours? 

**Adora:** I feel selfish for venting about this. Here I am complaining about getting friend-zoned and having overbearing parents while you never got adopted.

**Catra:** We can’t compare apples to oranges. Our lives were always going to be different. I knew by age 10 I was never getting adopted. Sue warned me about the future. I made the best of it. Don’t feel bad or apologize for you feel about your situation. 

**Adora:** Have you ever had your heart broken?

**Catra:** Yeah. I think the first time was when you got adopted back when we were kids. The second time was when Lonnie and I stopped being friends when she got adopted. I guess it’s always breaking. It’s hard to trust anyone when they say they like me.

**Adora:** What happened with Lonnie?

**Catra:** When she got adopted her new mom was super cool at first. She always let me come over and sleepover. Then I overstayed my welcome and overheard her mother was getting annoyed at me always coming over. I got mad and told Lonnie what I heard, and she agreed with her mom. I was so upset I yelled at her and I stopped talking to her. A week later I tried to apologize, and she told me she didn’t want anything to do with me and that her mom thinks I steal and that I have “Demon eyes”

**Adora:** That’s sad.

**Catra:** The worst part is. I never stole from them. Lonnie got caught shoplifting and I took the blame for her so her mom wouldn’t get mad at her. I thought if I did that, that I would be owed some type of friendship. Instead, I got the boot.

**Adora:** Did you ever try to talk to her again?

**Catra:** No. I know her mom sent her to behavior camp, and I think she blames Sue and me for Lonnie’s attitude problems. I keep in contact with Kyle and Rogelio and they say she and her mom aren’t cool right now, but the boys are doing fine. They both got adopted by the same family.

**Adora:** Did you ever wish you got adopted?

**Catra:** Of course. Remember when we were little. Did you want to be adopted by the Queen of England? You sorta got your wish. I always wanted to be adopted by circus people. My life is like a circus but without the cool cats.

**Adora:** I wish you got adopted with me

**Catra:** It wasn’t meant to be

**Adora:** Maybe when we go to college…. We could go to the same school and maybe live with each other again? Like we always dreamed when we were little.

**Catra:** I like the sound of that

**Adora:** I’m so happy we reunited.

**Catra:** me too. I want to go to school with you.

**Adora:** Same here.


	6. Homeless Kitten

**Adora:** So, my mom and dad talked to me and Glimmer this morning before school. They said they didn’t want to go on any family vacations this year because they wanted to donate the money they would spend on vacation. Glimmer and I were cool with it. We’ve been to so many different amusement parks and water parks that everything kinda gets boring after a while. Does that sound spoil?

**Catra:** No, if it’s your lifestyle then no one can judge you on it. It would be spoiled if you had a tantrum over it. 

**Adora:** I was never one for tantrums. I’ve had a few meltdowns, but I never had a temper tantrum.

**Catra:** I would. Kyle spilled juice on my Elmo doll, and I bit him when we were four. 

**Adora:** Remember when we were really little and I had to sleep in the bedroom by myself because I had a cold and you cried and tried to climb the baby gate to sleep with me?

**Catra** : Yeah. I got mad at Kyle for trying to hug me and I pushed him. I owe him about fifty apologies because I was a jerk to him when we were little. I said sorry when I moved out. He said he would always love me like a sister. He is the only one I think ever really meant it.

**Adora:** I meant it when I said I loved you when we were kids.

**Catra:** You also said you would marry me when we turn 18! Lol

**Adora:** I technically did not break that promise. We are both still 17

_Oh, God! Was that too much! I was trying to be flirty and sly! What made me think I was good at this._ I kept looking at my phone hoping Catra would respond quickly. I look over to my mom, who is smiling ear to ear. I feel my face go hot. Regretting texting at the dining room table. 

“Reading something good?” My dad asks. I can tell he wants to laugh at me.

My mom sits next to him and replies to me “Maybe someone sending her a nice good morning message?”

I place my phone away in my pocket. I feel my face stay red as I look down and eat my waffles. I hope they cant tell I’m embarrassed. Luckily, they don’t ask and go on about what their plans are this week. Since I’m waiting for indoor track and hockey to start, I don’t have much going on for me. Without friends, like I used to have, I don’t socialize as much. I got asked out by another boy Monday, but I lied and said my dad is insanely overprotective and that excuse has been working since middle school, so I don’t need to stop now. 

Mom has to get ready for some meeting with the school board Friday, dad is working late in the office all week on some new cases, Glimmer is at college— _good riddance_ —and Catra has beauty school today and tomorrow and is not available most days due to her vocational school. Now that she is out of high school, she’s still too busy for me. At least she won’t be in Beauty school for much longer. She graduates in November with her cosmetology license. 

I want to hang out with her, but her time for me is limited and mom says I shouldn’t bother her at work. All I have is texts to keep me up to date with her. I prefer a real date, but I don’t want to be so clingy with her. She’s being nice to me so far, but then again Mermista was too and she just humored me out of obligation to be my sister’s friend. I think I made myself depressed since I wasn’t smiling for the whole day after that. I wish I could be near Catra right now. This reminds me of how badly I missed her when I was a kid. 

\--

I finally get to catch up on sleep. I worked all night on my admissions essay and portfolio, I researched examples off of LinkedIn and other professional sites to get my portfolio looking good. I feel like I have a chance. 

Such a stupid thing to think.

I got a knock on my door and it was Bertha and one of the shelter runners.

Bertha barged in with her Dunkin Donuts coffee in hand and some crumbs on her blazer; indicating the fat fuck can’t go one car ride without eating. The Admin told me due to my expulsion from school, that I can’t stay at the shelter anymore and my eviction needs to be immediate. 

So

Here I am

I was given three home depot boxes to pack all my things. My room door is wide open, and all the other shelter residents are just asking if they can have my shit! One girl asked if she can keep my Gatorades in the fridge and the other asked if I want to give away any of my shirts. 

_This is so fucked up! I’m only seventeen! Can someone pretend to care about me! Please!_

Bertha was pissed. She was told she had to transport me to another shelter and she had to drive me to my storage unit so I can put the boxes in there. She bemoaned to me about how much gas this is costing her and how the State doesn’t give her a car allowance. I just roll my eyes and remind her how she should have helped me out more and that if she dropped me off to the shelter last Monday I would have never got into that fight and none of this would happen. 

I probably shouldn’t have run my mouth to her. The second I unloaded my three boxes and two backpacks and one trash bag of clothes out of her car she drove off. 

I just flicked her off and called her a fat bitch.

Now I got to stuff all my stuff in a cheap tiny storage locker. 

It’s the afternoon and I’m on the other side of town. I need to take a bus to get to Beauty school. I have to call one of those shelters that take in people for the night and make them leave in the morning.

On my break at beauty school, I got approved to stay at West Field Housing Shelter. Walking distance from the beauty school. I got buzzed in and had to sign my name and show ID for admission. 

The waiver was kind of troubling.

_We are not responsible for lost or stolen items, We are not responsible for lice, fungus infection, or other medical ailments caused by using facilities. We ask that no one is to share cups, utensils, and oral care items. First-floor bathroom available to access all night and community shower is available from 5 am-8 pm._

I sign and get escorted to a room. Cots of coughing and sick looking women the room. I feel like I’m in some apocalypse movie. Some woman is talking and a few babies are crying. 

I’m told to grab a cot and unfold it and sleep in the corner near the fire exit. 

I hear someone call me a bitch in Spanish and another call me a whore. 

I guess a young female being homeless only draws only a few things to the imagination. 

I sleep with my backpack clutched to my stomach the entire night.

The next morning, I wake up early to take a shower. I didn’t realize I needed to bring my towel, so I had to dry off my body with my dirty clothes. I practically had to keep my bag in the shower stall with me. The second I placed it on the hook a crack head came over to try and unzip my bag. 

After shouting I scared her off. 

A timed cold eight-minute shower is all I got. The shower stalls have soap and shampoo dispensers in them. I jump out. Dry off awkwardly in front of some perverted lady as she eyed me up and down. 

I thought I got dressed fast enough for no one to see my back scars. 

I leave and get a to-go bag of breakfast from the cafeteria line. Before leaving a nice lady stopped me and said some type of prayer. I’m not Christian so I don’t get it. Still a nice gesture, though. Growing up in a different religion made some concepts foreign to me. Sue had always told me our Baptist neighbors wanted to indoctrinate into sin and Jewish and Christian values only center around money. Her examples of this were always rich people and murders. 

_Yeah…. Sue. I don’t think the lady who prayed for me this morning thinks Hitler is a good guy._

It occurred to me I never sent Adora back a text for almost two days. I panicked and sent her a long apology text.

**Catra:** I’m so sorry I never responded! I got so caught up with other stuff I never replied. I did like your loop-hole text. Technically your right. We are not 18 yet. It is nice how you remember. It makes me happy. I wish I could hang out with you soon, but with beauty school and trying to get ready for my admissions interview. I am kinda overworked right now.

**Adora:** I wish you could stay over so we could work on things together. 

**Catra:** I wish we could to, but you got to school and I have to check-in at the shelter right after beauty school. 

**Adora:** They make you check-in now?

**Catra:** different shelter situation. I had to move out of my old one. Now I have to go to this other one. Closer to my beauty school, but I don’t have any privacy now. We all sleep on cots in the same room and a crackhead tries to steal my stuff. I got called a whore just for walking into the bathroom.

**Adora:** What! That’s awful! Catra let me ask my mom if you can stay here.

**Catra:** No, I don’t want to be anyone’s problem

**Adora:** It’s not a problem! We have a guest room

**Catra:** Adora. Please don’t ask. I can take care of this myself.

**Adora:** Okay. But if you change your mind I will ask.

I end the conversation and stay busy at the public library. Then I go off to the community college campus and sneak over to one of the study rooms and doze off with my headphones on. To them, it just looks like I’m studying when in reality I’m tired as hell. I didn’t sleep all that well at the shelter again. 

Next. Now Wednesday.

During my therapy session with Casta, I told her I was too tired to talk. I was supposed to have a session with her yesterday, but I rescheduled due to working on my portfolio. She understood. She was nice enough to let me nap on her couch. She said she only had me as a client today and let me nap in her office for two hours. She said I could stay longer. But I did not want to overstay my welcome. I showed her my essay and portfolio and she thought they were really good. She even offered to be one of my references. 

At beauty school, I embarrass myself by nodding off during a demonstration. All the people here are older than me and don’t bother me. My teacher recommends taking the next day off if I’m too tired. None of them know my situation. I think they might feel like I’m one of those over-achiever kids that do double schooling for fun. I’d rather them think that. 

I head to the shelter to find out I don’t have a cot for me and I sleep on a yoga matt near the drink machine. I try to rest, but I’m approached by a tall skinny man wearing a fedora hat. 

He asks me if I need a daddy.

I ignore him. 

He does not go away. He tells me I can go for two hundred an hour and that I should talk to him. Implying I want to be a hooker. _Sorry, dude, I don’t need a pimp._

I get up to leave and that’s when it all goes downhill from there. 

He violently grabbed me and shoved me against the wall. My backpack drops to the floor and one of the girls in the hall rushes towards it to steal. I kick and scream but I wake up the whole first floor. 

I get kicked out since I’m the one deemed a disturbance.

It’s midnight and I’m out in the cold with no place to sleep.

I’m desperate enough to call Scorpia. But then I would be disturbing her and her parents on a school night.

I walk for thirty minutes and finally reach my job. The lights are all off and I walk around the building. Hoping to find an open window. I go around back and stack milk crates on top of each other to reach Cheryl’s office window. To my luck, I open it. To my pain, I jump through and hit the floor of the office. In pure exhaustion, I just curl up with one of her clean chef jackets and sleep on the floor. I set my alarm, so I wake up before any of them arrive. 

I wake up. Go to the bathroom real fast so no one can tell. Take a ghetto sink shower, wear my hair up, and leave without anyone ever knowing I was there. Perfect.

\--

**Cheryl:** Cat was in the office last night

**Mandy:** A cat? Or Carlotta?

**Cheryl:** Carlotta. She left early. I noticed something looked off from last night and I saw them on the camera in the office that she jumped in from the window. 

**Mandy:** Why? Was anything missing?

**Cheryl:** No. she just jumped in. Closed the window. Took one of your jackets off the hook to use it as a blanket over her and used her backpack as a pillow and went to sleep

**Mandy:** Wow that is…….

**Cheryl:** Sad! This poor baby slept on the floor last night. I haven’t vacuumed the office in two weeks!

**Mandy:** We need to talk to her.

**Cheryl:** No! you know how defensive she gets. She will shut down and avoid us. It will be the Thanksgiving situation all over again.

**Mandy:** Or we can act like we have no idea and she can try to climb through the window again tonight and lose her balance and fall and break her neck. Or a police officer can drive by and think she is breaking in and attack her. 

**Cheryl:** Or we can ask her to stay the night since we are going out for the night. 

**Mandy:** And we technically have packages from Amazon coming in tomorrow so……

**Cheryl:** We can lie and ask her to house sit. 

**Mandy:** Yes! And we can continue to lie to her because that’s the best thing for her!

**Cheryl:** You know what I mean!

**Mandy:** We aren’t doing her any favors by lying.

**Cheryl:** Can we just do this once more/

**Mandy:** So, upset her more later then upset her a little now?”

**Cheryl:** We’ll cross that road when getting there……

\--

So, I have to be the bad guy again. I love my wife Cheryl with all my heart but being told we need not address a homeless teenager breaking into our business because “Feelings” is not acceptable! Just like when I made the plumber redo a botched sink installation or when I told the landscaper he was doing a sloppy job. I’m not the bad guy for asking for the smallest amount of effort thrown my way! Carlotta or Catra as I’m assuming is her preferred nickname is an odd and tragic circumstance. The right thing to do is to address her trust issues now before she becomes a bitter or angry adult. As much as my wife does not want to say it, Catra does have a mean and manipulated streak to her. I see the way she can sweet and flirty with Scorpia, then the next minute does not want to be around her. I know all about her robbing Prime’s Liquor store with Entrapta. I know she is just one bad day away from another meltdown but for fuck sakes, if we don’t do anything now, she’s going to turn out worse then what the horrible social worker and Sue Weaver say she will.

Her interview is tomorrow. I need to talk to Angella to give her more important information.

\--

 **Mandy:** Dr. Brighton, are you free to text? Or should I email you?

**Angella:** I’m free to text. I’m in my office right now. Also, please call me Angella. I appreciate the politeness, but we can be formal.

**Mandy:** Thank you. I’m worried about Catra/Carlotta. She was kicked from the women’s shelter and the current shelter she is staying in kicked her out last night for fighting with a man bothering her. She’s completely homeless. She says she’s “good” and by good, I think she’s sleeping in her storage unit for the night.

**Angella:** That is very troubling.

**Mandy:** It is. We want to sponsor her housing. The only issue with that is she won't accept it.

**Angella:** That’s ridiculous. 

**Mandy:** I agree, but we’ve offered Catra help in the past and she has turned it down. We’ve overstepped and tried to heavily offer our help when she has needed it and it has caused her to spiral. A lot of it all has to do with Sue and how she was raised, but I fear she is going to breakdown over the stress. She’s overtired and really scared about housing. She isn’t being honest with us about her living situation and I want to give her the best options possible. 

**Angella:** The only thing I can think of is applying for the board that you will sponsor student housing. The only issue with that is Catra is not the only student on the list for it. If you apply you’ll be asked to house another student instead.

**Mandy:** Can she live with us legally if we say we are her guardians?

**Angella:** It would require proof. This is now a double edge sword. She needs legal residents and guardians if you apply for that. We need her social worker involved. 

**Mandy:** Her social worker is awful. That woman was supposed to meet with Catra yesterday and said to her she either give her gas money or free food for making the house call.

**Angella:** They cannot do that! that must be illegal.

**Mandy:** I know! But the leverage she has on Catra is big and also, most social workers for the state have so many kids that they have to keep track of that they all sort of fall to the wayside. 

**Angella:** I know the story all too well. My precious Adora was heavily abused in the same home Catra was, and it was not pleasant to deal with child services on her behalf. 

**Mandy:** Not to be too invasive but are you the lady who punched Sue Weaver?

**Angella:** Catra told you that!?

**Mandy:** No, it’s kind of a popular gossip story. 

**Angella:** Who did you hear that from?

**Mandy:** Oh gosh! I’ve heard it told to me several times from other people. We have a deli case at Theymor hospital, and it was rumored that you got fired for punching your adoptive daughter’s foster mother for some unknown reason. 

**Angella:** she abused my daughter. Also, I was not terminated from Theymor. I was suspended for being mean and then I started my surgical center when I decided to not go back to the mainstream hospitals.

**Mandy:** Ooooo

\--

“Who is mom talking to?” I ask seeing dad on the couch. Mom has all her focus on her phone. She does not usually text. 

Dad looks at me “Her new girlfriend” he teases. 

“I heard that!” Mom shrieked from the other side of the living room. Before going back to her phone.

We both laughed at that. he explained that mom has become friends with Scorpia’s moms, and I had to ask who that was.

“Sweetie, Scorpia is the tall young lady who stands in the back during class photos”

Oh. I kind of zone out. I’ve spent so much time being only around Glimmer’s friends that I hardly know my classmates.

Mom walked over to sandwich me between her and dad and offered “Perhaps you should call Catra and ask if she would like to sleep over tonight? You do have no school tomorrow due to parent-teacher conferences. So, it would be a nice night with a friend”

I look down at my lap feeling my stomach flip. A nice night with a friend. Why does that sound so much more romantic than it should? I told her I would text her and ask. Then I left upstairs to avoid my parents from looking at me. For some weird reason, I felt super shy all of a sudden. Just talking about Catra makes me feel all fluttery inside. Worse than when Mermista did. Something about Catra made me feel so homely around her I just do not want to be apart from her. 

**Adora:** Want to a sleepover tonight. We can hang out and I can tell you all about Brightmoon. We will have fun.

**Catra:** Sounds good. I’m in.

\--

_Thank the freakin stars I’m not sleeping on a floor tonight!_

I feel so much more at ease now. Beauty class is less distracting now that I don’t have to plan on where I need to sleep tonight. I didn’t take my teacher's offer to miss a day. This school only allows a few absents a semester and if you miss too many days they make you stay later for additional classes or they kick you from the program. Neither option is good for me, so I bear through the tiredness. I declined Scorpia’s offer to a sleepover tonight. I feel like she’s getting mad at me. I can tell she is not happy with Adora being around me. She made it very clear to talk shit about how Adora only hung out with the high school seniors last year and her sister Glimmer was a known party girl. I’ve met Glimmer before, I was selling stolen Vodka from Miles Liquor store this summer and a block party is where I met Glimmer and I charged her $40 for a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka. She was pissed I was charging so much, but I told her to eat a dick and stay sober if she wouldn’t pay. Unlike her little rich girl ass, $40 for me is food for a week. I’ve been losing weight this year a lot more. Mainly since my diet consists of dollar store granola bars and juice. It’s not like at the women’s shelter where I got to put things in the fridge and buy groceries. Right now, I can eat fast food but that costs too much money, so right now I’m living off granola bars until I get paid again.

I stop by the storage unit for some extra clothes and head over to Adora’s house. Walking everywhere is a bitch. A car ride that only would be five or ten minutes is almost half an hour to an hour for me. I’m super tired. I get to her house. I’m greeted with a hug by her, which I want to last forever for some reason, and her helicopter mother asking me fifty questions.

“How was class?”

“How am I feeling?”

“When did I eat last?”

Before I could answer her about the food question my stomach loudly and embarrassingly growled and her crazy mom instincts kicked in and she zoomed into her fancy ass kitchen that looked like something out of a Martha Stewart catalog and made me something she deemed as quick and easy. For a British person that is fish. My weakness. I fucking love fish! It's just too expensive to buy and my only fish indulgence is fish fillets at McDonald's. I felt like such a fat ass, I ate all the food she made for me in less than a minute. 

Adora sat with me while I ate. We sorta took a stroll down memory lane as she asked me if I remembered certain things. 

“Remember when Sue let us make a fort under the kitchen table?” she asked.

“I remember us hiding under the table when we got in trouble”

She laughed “I remember you stole her lipstick and drew on me and Lonnie with it. She got so mad she chased you down the stairs and you hid on the kitchen table so she couldn’t get you”

I saw Angella peek in from the living room. She was eavesdropping on our conversation. I didn’t hold back as I recounted “Yeah I remember she had a bad back so she wouldn’t bend down to spank us. She would take the broom and swat us if we hid from her”

“How did she get you from out from under the table?”

“She promised me candy. I stood up and ran to her and she bitch smacked me with the phonebook”

I and Adora laughed, but I could hear her mother mutter something to Micah about how awful it was to be jaded by abuse. 

_No! I am not jaded! I just cannot cry over every little smack, slap, or spanking. If I did, I would be crying for my whole life._

Angella then made her motherly presence clear by walking into the kitchen and getting something from the fridge. She just wanted to hear more stories of when I and Adora were little. 

I asked Adora if we could go upstairs. Angella shot me a look. She just wanted to hear our whole conversation. Maybe she still doesn’t trust me?

We kept talking upstairs. I filled her in on how everyone was doing. Who got adopted, who went to juvenile hall, all the kids that turned out normal; it was a shortlist, I filled her in on how all the crappy teenagers turned out when they left. She asked about Sue and if I still talk to her. I told her no. She asked if things got better once Adora left. I lied for her sake and said things stayed the same. I feel like telling her how bad things got would upset her and then she would just run and tell Angella. 

I wish Angella looked at me like an adult. I’m emancipated. She can ask me to flat out how bad Sue was and I will answer. I won't tell her everything because that’s none of her business, but I would tell her enough. 

When we got tired, We started to lay down on Adora’s comfy queen-sized bed. Under the covers in pajamas. It felt like old times. When we were little, we shared a bed. We would stay close so the older kids wouldn’t mess with us. They would do shitty things, try to put our hands in warm water, put toothpaste or shaving cream in our hair, or one of the creepy boys would try and hump us. I hope Adora does not remember that. Lying next to her and feeling her cold skin against mine made me feel so safe. I never felt this safe anymore. I never shared my bed with anyone else after Adora left the foster home. I tried to with Lonnie, but she kicks in her sleep. The last person to offer their bed to me was Miles and when I was laid next to him, I felt so scared that he was going to do something. Next to Adora, I feel safe. I feel like I want to sleep next to her all the time now.

\--

Parent-teacher conference is upon us. Adora does not need to worry about getting up so early. I peek in to see how the two slept. I creak open the guest bedroom to see the bed looks untouched. Catra did not leave, early did she? I peeked into Adora’s bedroom and softly gasped and closed the door. The two girls were sleeping in each other’s arms intimately. A way my husband would hold me. Glimmer has shared a bed with Perfuma during a sleepover and they never laid this closely. Queen bed or not, this was far too intimate for a platonic sleepover. They were so quiet last night. Was it possible that with Adora being so impressionable and possibly hormonal that Catra has swooped in and charmed the literal pajama pants off my daughter?

I came back to my bedroom. Feeling paler than before. Behind a closed door at night with no supervision my daughter; who just went through her first heartbreak, and now here comes a very pretty young girl her age comes around, makes her feel nice, looks nice, gives her hugs and now—

“Honey, you okay?” I hear Micah ask me.

I look to him with a worried expression “Catra and Adora are…..”

His eyes went wide. 

“Sleeping, very, very close to one another”

He deadpans a look at me and raises a brow “Seriously?”

I cross my arms and retort in a hushed tone “Yes. They are sleeping the way we—a married couple—sleep!”

Micah chuckles and rolls his eyes “Doubt it. I sleep with one hand on your butt at all times,” he then frowned and asked for confirmation “No one’s hands are on Adora’s butt, right?”

I shrug “They are under the covers. I can’t tell”

He then nervously asked, “Clothed?”

I nod “At least from the waist up I can assume”

He nervously looked down and nodded. Trying to calm himself down “Okay, okay. Umm…. I guess this has to be a talk with Adora?”

I nod. Good to see he understands my concerns. As I turn to leave the bedroom he then quips “1-2-3! Not it!” and shuts the door right behind me fast.

_Oh. Micah…….._

I hear the bedroom door to my daughter’s room open. Outcomes Catra in a tank top and questionably short pajama shorts. She looks tired still. After a night of hopefully nothing naughty, I can tell she’s looking for the bathroom upstairs. I point her past me, and I go to peak on Adora. Still sleeping. As Adorable as she is right now—I wish I didn’t need to talk to her about this sleeping arrangement.

Now with the house waking up. I hear the shower go on and I see Adora still in her bedroom on her phone. I peek in to tell her “That was nice of you to make sure Catra was all set for her shower” She looked up and smiled at me “Yeah, she was fine. She just wanted to know if she could use one of our towels. She says we have hotel fancy towels”

I smile at that. It’s nice to know guests appreciate our things and respect them. I see to Adora’s side that Catra has her clothes for her interview on the bed and I ask “Is Catra getting dressed in here while you shower?”

She raises a brow at me defensively “I guess. Why?”

I reply. “You’re going to step out of the room for her to change right?”

She shrugged “I guess so, why?”

I felt a massive amount of discomfort as a tapped my fingers together and reminded her “Well, she’s a pretty girl, and well, you know… I think you sleeping so close to her and possibly seeing her in a sight of undress might be a little…much for you”

She stood up “What are you saying?”

I stuttered “I’m just saying with you being attracted to—” _Oh. That was a bad start to this talk._

“Girls? Because I like girls, I want to see girls undress?”

I warn her “Watch your tone young lady”

“You accusing me of being a perv” she defended. 

“I’m not accusing you of being a _perv_ ; I’m just saying it wouldn’t be best appropriate to see your friend change clothes”

She snapped “I’m in a locker room with girls all the time during the sports season. I’m not running peeking looks at my teammates”

I sigh “Adora, please don’t take offense” I try to calm her.

She sighs and turns away from me “Good to know that’s what you think all lesbians do!”

I narrow my eyes at her and turn away. I’m not going to fight with her. 

\--

_How dare she!? Can you believe that! My mom thinks just because I’m gay, that I want to see girls naked all the time! Did she forget that Catra and I grew up together!? We took baths together! We shared snacks! Hell! We even shared the same straw when drinking from a juice box! It’s so rude for her to think I just wanna see naked girls! What does that say about you—mom! Glimmer has dick pics on her phone! Did you know that? huh? Do you!_

Catra came in with a fluffy grey towel wrapped around her wet tone body— _Oh god! Please don’t be right about me, mom!_ I feel my face goes hot when I look down at her legs. Her very tan smooth legs. I leave the room Stuttering out “I’ll give you privacy”

Now that I’m thinking about the idea of her with no clothes, I feel embarrassed. It didn’t even occur to me to look at Catra get dressed until mom mentioned it. _Stupid mom! stupid anti-gay mom!_

When I go downstairs with my face tomato red, mom just asks me if I’m okay. _I’m not! You just made my brain go all screwy because you think I’m a perv. Now I don’t want to be anywhere near a naked girl!_

Catra finishes getting ready. I jump in the shower next. Taking a colder than usual one for obvious reasons, I decided to get dressed in the bathroom. 

Catra was using my desk as vanity to apply her make up. When I came back to the room I got to look at her routine of cosmetics. I never was one for makeup. Mom was big on the whole My daughters are beautiful in every way bullshit. When she wears makeup and fancy clothes daily but got all pissy when Glimmer started wearing makeup. Even when I had acne back when I was fourteen; she didn’t want me to wear coverup. I didn’t realize how bad I was staring at Catra.

She turned to me and said “I cover them up because I hate them”

I snap back to reality “Huh?”

She smiled softly at me “My freckles” pointing to her cheeks “I never liked them. Sue used to tell me it looked like I had a dirty face. So, she let me use makeup to cover them up”

Sue let you use makeup.

“When did she allow that?”

Catra shrugged “When I was fourteen. A girl made fun of me and I went home upset. She let me use some old foundation she had”

I blinked “Wow, that sounds almost….”

“Nice?” Catra finished for me. “It was. But she called me a wimp for crying about it”

We laugh at that.

She sits up from my desk and asks “Can I style your hair for you?”

I hesitate “Sure, but I’m tender headed”

She lets out a light laugh as she claims “So was Lonnie. I got it. I’m not going to hurt you”

And she was right. Usually, I feel sensory overloaded when someone messes with my hair. Glimmer got a little offended with me when we were younger, and I didn’t like my hair being brushed by others. But Catra’s hands were so soft and inviting. They were so familiar. When she was finished my hair was in a ponytail like I like, but she made my hair poof a little more. 

“It’s a pompadour” she described, “I think a hair poof looks cute on you”


	7. Sad babies

Adora never talks back to me. On very rare occasions she has been displeased and vocal. She is the complete opposite of Glimmer. My oldest will let her displeasure be known and refuse to see anything other than her way. My dear Glimmer was a spoiled one. Adora has never been, but with telling her that Catra and she shouldn’t sleep in the same bed, she had become very offended in me. This led to her talking back to me but also yelling at me. Her words in her hurt voice are following me throughout the entire parent-teacher meeting. All her teachers say she is doing well but is less talkative and prefers to sit alone at lunch and doesn’t like to socialize with many people anymore. She has become more akin to the male company despite showing zero sign of pining for them. She isn’t one girl who people talk about or have ill to say about her, but she is visibly sadder this year. The excuse is that she must miss her sister terribly. 

Her English teacher told me “You must be so proud of her, she’s just the sweetest young lady” she says. 

I nod proudly. As happy I was to hear that I couldn’t help hear her yell from across her room _“If you hate me being gay so much! Then I’ll just stay in the closet!”_

Her Science teacher made me feel even more like a terrible mother “She’s such a smart girl” she commented. Making all the guilt of Adora crying as she slammed the door in my face _“I won't hang out with girls! I won’t try and make more friends! I’ll just stay in class and do sports like a good little robot child! Will that make you happy?!”_

Even her History teacher offered me the little antidote to feeling better. He commented on how her autism did not affect her being the best student in his class this year.

It was another aching reminded of her crying _about “If Glimmer turned out to be gay you would think it was her being modern or revolutionary or some weird pseudo-intellectual crap like that, but if I turn out gay it’s just a retard thing for being autistic!”_

All her words hurt. 

Sitting in on the deliberation meeting on Catra was also not easy. Even though I was not one of the four board members who interviewed her, I was apart of the six who would be a part of her acceptance.

Saddened I heard all the bad news about her.

All six of us sat and spoke about her.

The head of student affairs affirmed to us as she passed her portfolio around “The girl has too much going on in her life to be a dedicated student”

Another member commented “She also has no possible way to pay for school”

“No state grants?” Someone offers.

Another member corrected “A grant could be possible, but it wouldn’t be immediate. A small grant could be accessible, but even with scholarships, her eligibility is scarce. With so many students and families fighting for scholarships, she doesn’t have many options”

I frown and ask “she’s in a cosmetic school. It counts as a science and it qualifies her for multiple other senior studies classes. So perhaps a half-day student option is best for her”

A female member of the board agreed “She has the grades to make her graduate by the end of this year if we place her in English, History, and Math”

The head of student affairs suggested “She can be a half-day student. That lowers tuition”

I feel better as I ask the Student Affairs leader how much her tuition would be. 

He did the numbers and ruled “She can be granted the free-lunch grant due to her income. He will count her vocational school credits towards her science, business, and social studies classes and her books can be waived with a book club scholarship. Her total tuition for the year will only come to $6,129.30 for the year”

I internally sighed in relief. It was still high but thankfully under what I assumed it would be. Thankfully, I can cover it. I offer “I’m sure she has a private donor who would cover her bill”

The six of us agree. If Catra can afford the tuition, she was in.

\--

This morning got weird quickly. Angella hates and doesn’t want me near Adora. I come out of the shower and get told that Angella assumed me and Adora were scissoring at night since we shared a bed. I should have known Angella was a homophobe. I waited downstairs after I did Adora’s hair and heard Adora and Angella yell at each other. I text Bertha to see if she was coming to get me and said no. 

I was panicking internally because I couldn’t ask Angella for a ride to the school. What do I say? _Hi, I know you think I fucked your daughter last night, but can you give me a ride?_

I panicked and called a cab and asked how much it would be for a cab to get me from here to the school. Micah heard over the phone asking for a can and then made it triple awkward and told Angella I don’t have a ride. _Oh, no! please I don’t want to take a ride from her!_

He could tell this and offered “C’mon Catra, let's go get us some McDonalds. I want to hear all about your painting gigs”

_This man is a saint!_

During the meeting, I was beyond nervous and scared. The school was fancy and big. Everything was clean and pretty, and every person was nice to me. The meeting felt intense and I got grilled on everything about my life. No question was off the table. I had to tell three old white guys and one old black lady that I was abused my whole life, got emancipated, lived with a sexual predator, get into fights, and my goal in life is to work at a salon. Saying it all out loud it was pretty clear I’m not Brightmoon material.

I think I shot myself in the foot with oversharing. The Beauty school thing had them interested but, not by enough I think to enroll me.

Bertha came out from her part of the meeting and said to me “This one lady is pushing for you to be enrolled. I don’t think this is best for you”

I snarled “Why isn’t this best for me?”

She rolled her eyes “Carlotta, you know this isn’t your setting. With your attitude and background your more of a threat to these students, and let's face it….. These kids are going places”

I feel my throat go dry as I try to fight back tears and demand “What places do you think I’m going?”

Without hesitation, she replies “Not college. Not to a good job. If this beauty school thing works out for you, you might get lucky and work for supercuts, but I doubt anything else for you. Face it, you're not the type of kid who is meant to succeed” She says that and just walks off. Not even offering to give me a ride out here. I’m stuck on the other side of town.

I clutch my bag in anger and fight back the tears. 

_I’ll show them I’ll show all of them! I don’t need anyone to make it!_

It’s almost one in the afternoon and I have nowhere to go. The enrollment board says they’ll tell me by the end of next week if I’m accepted. This kind of ruins my original plan of being homeless a few days. I have to find a place to sleep for over a week now. I mentally think to myself about what needs to be done. I need to see if I can get rid of some of that booze in my storage unit for extra money so I can have food and stuff. The gas station closes the highway exit has a truck stop shower and the community pool has a shower too, so I can shower at those places if I have the money. I wish I had the extra cash for a gym membership. Thirty bucks a month for unlimited showers and Wi-Fi was better than paying ten dollars per shower. 

I leave the school. losing all hope that I will ever get enrolled here. I wish I can hang out with Adora until beauty school starts, but her mom will probably think I’m going to molest her or something. It can’t be helped.

I sit at the bus stop and play on my phone and watch a video about capsule hotels in china and people living in internet cafes. It gives me an idea. I poked around the storage unit facility to see if anyone left anything useful or good around the halls. Sometimes people will put “Free” stuff in the halls or by the door if their too lazy to throw it out themselves. I got lucky once and someone put a “Please take” sign on a laptop bag and a tote bag and I use those for carrying around clothes. Today I got super lucky and someone left a bike out today. A shitty beat up, dented, and somewhat what broken bike, but still, something to use. The handlebars were wobbly, and the bike chain looked loose. It also had a semi-broken pedal on the left side, but I can make this work. I clear up my storage unit. I move some blankets around and my sleeping bag to make a fake bed area on the left side, while my storage bins were stacked tightly to the right. It did not give me much room and getting things out of them will be a pain, but this is what I need to do for a home until things get better. I take the bike on the bus over to my job and work on it outside the alley. Mandy walked out to see me on the floor spray painting it and placing a milk crate on the front as a makeshift basket with zip ties. I look at her and smile “Someone was throwing out a bike at the storage unit” I was happy when I presented it to her. She gave me one of those sad mom smiles. She feels sorry for me now. I instantly defend myself “It’s important to not waste stuff. I made it work” I stood up. Looking down at it, it looked less ugly with the black spray paint. The duck tape on the bike pedals made it look better too.

I jumped a little when I felt her hand on my shoulder. She still had that sad mom look on her face. I glared at her as she said “We know you're going through a lot” I took her hand off me and turned away. She scolded me “Don’t walk away from me”

I turned to her “I’m not working right now”

She crossed her arms “It does not matter. We need to talk about your housing situation”

I have no house to talk about.

“Okay….” I hesitate.

She looks upset as she tells me “I know you're not having any luck finding shelter, we’re all super worried about you—”

We’re worried!? I don’t need you to worry!

I snap at her “Well you don’t have to! I can do this myself! I don’t need anyone to worry about me”

Mandy doesn’t miss a beat as she reminds me “You’re a seventeen-year-old child with no home and no family to take care of you! I have to—”

I jump on my bike and yell “You don’t need to do anything! I’m your employee, not your kid! Worry about her, not me!” I say as I try to pedal off. I turn to her and yell “And thanks for reminding me about being an orphan! Not that I forget or anything” I start to bike off as she yells to me “Why are you always like that!? I just want to help you! do you have any idea how upsetting it is to see someone your age in this situation?” she starts to follow me down the alley. 

I want to cry. I do.

I turn to her and explain “I don’t know why it's hard on you. I’m not your problem. If being around me upsets you so much, then you should just fire me and not deal with me anymore” I say before taking off down the alley and out into the street. I fight back tears. I instantly regret talking to her like that. I’m upset. I’m sad. I might have kissed my job away; which is a stupid thing to do. I cry a little on my way to the storage unit. I never even took into consideration on how to store my bike. I don’t have room in my storage unit if I sleep in it. 

I could lay it over my storage bins if I can sell those last two boxes of vodka.

Maybe my prayers were heard.

I got a text message from one of the college boys about needing booze for a party tonight. I sent him a picture of what I had and he said he would buy all of it. I lie and say someone wants it all for $250 and he bumps it up to $300. It’s crazy how these desperate rich kids want to get drunk so bad that they would just blow all their parent's money. $300 to them is nothing, but to me, this could be what I need to get by until I find another job. I think about applying to a gym so I can get to shower for free. Tonight I don’t need to stress. Tonight I can make money. 

I place one box in front of my basket to the bike and the rest I fill in a backpack. One of my shitty ones I wouldn’t miss if it got ruined. Slowly biking over to the house party I saw my guy; the chump who wanted to pay $300 for vodka and surprisingly; the Princess goody too-shoes herself; Glimmer. I gave her a fake smile. Adora told me all about how she blew up her spot and asked her about coming out as gay at school and even going so far as to embarrass her in front of her former crush. People like her are the worst. 

After getting my money I decided to stick around. A few guys give me a few flirty looks and I ignore them. I don’t accept any drinks as I see Glimmer and two other chicks are flirty with boys. I roll my eyes and see something odd outside. For one, my bike is missing and for two a white car pulls up and –Oh! Shit! It’s the cops!

I panic. If I get caught here I’m fucked. I look to Glimmer for some strange reason and mouth to her “Police are here!” and she takes the hint and signals for her and her friends to leave out the back door with me. We rush out to the back and are greeted by a fence. I hop over with ease, while Glimmer and her friends struggle. I can be an ass and leave them, but I feel compelled to help. I grab Glimmer’s arm and in a hushed and scared whisper I tell them “I can get us to the gas station real fast”

I can't believe I’m still dumb enough to help people. For once it didn’t go wrong. Just a little awkward. After her friend’s Perfuma and Mermista left she offered to share an Uber with me home. I told her to just drop me off on Colonel highway Rd. where my storage unit was. She raised a brow and asked, “Why do you need to go there?”

I lie “I work night shifts there”

She lets out a grunt and crossed her arms. Eww, she acts like her mother. 

“If you need a place to stay, you can come over to my house and stay in the guest room”

I shake my head “No thanks, your mom thinks me and Adora have something going on”

She questions “Do you?”

I snap “NO! and that wouldn’t be anyone’s business if I did. Adora and I grew up together, we used to sleep in the same bed as kids. We didn’t think it would freak your poor Catholic bible-thumping mom out”

Glimmer corrects “Mom is Episcopal and not a bible thumper. She was just concerned” she looked away and sighed “That girl I was with tonight, Mermista…. Adora had a crush on her and told her. Mermista told her she didn’t feel the same way and Adora didn’t take it well…..”

I correct “Well, getting laughed at usually upsets people”

“She only laughed because she was nervous” She defends her friend. _Funny her friend and not her sister. If someone laughed in Scorpia’s face I would fuck them up. Friend or not, if your mean you will get punched._

She still defends Mermista and herself by claiming Adora is sensitive and they talked everything over. 

I just nod and let her believe what she wants to. The Uber comes and I tell her I can get my own and she pulls me into the car anyways. “You act like your mom,” I say.

“Insults will get you nowhere” she deadpans and drives me to where I need to go. She asks me again “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I get out “I’m fine,” I say “Thanks for the ride”

I close the door and walk over to the door to punch in my code to get into the locked indoor storage rooms. I see her follow after, and I dread it. I walk in and to my dismay, the door doesn’t close fast enough for her to be locked out. She follows me down the orange garage-style doors of the storage center. Coming closer to mine, I take the swing ladder that is attached to the wall and has wheels on it for people who need it for the upper storage lockers. Mine is a top locker. Pretty big for the price. I unlock my locker and sit in it. She watches me and asks, “How the hell are you going to sleep here?”

I snort “Easy. I have a blanket under me. One taped to the wall and another on top of this bin. I’m good” I say and attempt to slide down my door. She remarks “I doubt this is safe or legal”

I simply reply “Don’t care, goodnight Glimmer”

My sleep through the night. Thankful I never needed to pee. I hear some faint muffling and banging on my locker door. I groan as I try to keep quiet. I hear it rattle as the familiar voice of Mandy booms from the other side. “Young lady I know your in there!”

_Oh Shit_

\--

Well….that went worse than I thought. I knew she would protest and put up a fight. Demand she is too independent to need help and all the other teenage actions. For her to have a massive breakdown was not the plan. She’s upset. She felt like everyone went out of their way to embarrass her. Was that the issue the whole time? Embarrassment? Did Sue teach this child to feel shame all the time? Angella told me this was common for abused children to be gaslit into feeling humiliation over their bad situations due to their abusers. Even with Catra out of her dangerous environment, she still can't break off the damage it has all done to her. She’s mad and can't put anything into words. Maybe Angella’s input was not the right one. 

Ping!

_Speak of the devil_

**Angella:** How is she feeling now? Has she stopped crying? 

**Mandy:** No, she’s very emotional right now. 

**Angella:** Are you trying to talk to her right now to set her straight?

_Set her straight?_

**Mandy:** No, I’m trying to give her space so she doesn’t feel like she is being smothered.

**Angella:** Is that wise? If she’s too much to handle I can talk to her.

_Wow! Lady! Do you have little faith in me? I’m a mother too and unlike you, my college-age kid isn’t going out to underage drink._

I shake off my ego and politely text back.

**Mandy:** We are giving her space and then we will talk to her.

**Angella:** Good. When should I come over?

**Mandy:** I and my wife are going to talk to her.

**Angella** : Oh…. I figured I should speak to her since I was the one who helped with this whole arrangement.

_Nope. Not giving you credit._

**Mandy:** Your help is appreciated. But, Cheryl and I have wanted to take Catra in for some time now. We’ve known her longer and your forceful approach of demanding her to comply does not work on an abused child with ODD and ADHD.

_Oh, gosh. Was that too rude? It sounds rude._

**Angella** : I’m sorry for coming off too strong in all of this. I have a horrible habit of being intense and I didn’t mean to offend. 

_Oh. Thank God she gets it._

**Mandy:** You mean well, I am grateful for everything. But, Catra is my girl and I’m going to take care of her.

**Angella:** Awww. You care for her.

**Mandy:** I do. If you were still interested in coming over, then my wife and I can invite you out for a drink. We usually go to the tavern by the harbor. 

**Angella:** I’d have to see with my husband, but that sounds delightful. What is it called?

**Mandy:** Crimson Waste.

After Angella and I finish texting I go downstairs to see Catra. We had a furnished basement with its little bathroom and kitchenette down there. We had is set up in the off chance of my in-laws moving in or in case we wanted to rent it out. Having such a large space to herself would be best for Catra; so, she can feel independent and be in a safe place. I peeked downstairs to see Cheryl talking to Catra. The teen had her face buried in a pillow as Cheryl stroked her head and hushes her “It’s going to be okay, sweet girl”

_Aw, man!_

I feel a little cheated. She calmed for Cheryl but not me, I always feel like the bad guy. I get that my Cheryl is the sweet and loving one, but I am too! I love hugs from my daughter and talking to her about things! Why do I get made out to be the bad guy? I bet Dr. Brighten doesn’t have this issue with her daughters. I bet they just adore her and everything she does. 

\--

“You might as well tell me to wear a pink triangle on my jacket! Why would I want this on my door!? So, guests know which daughter is the screwed up one?

Her tears fall on her face and she begins to cry in front of me. No Glimmer or Micah to help soften the situation out. As I stand in front of her door with my now regretful gift. 

“Adora, sweetie, I made this for you to feel better, I want you to embrace what makes you different and special” I calmly reply. 

She looks even madder at me as she grabs the wooden décor out of my hand “No! this isn’t about embracing what makes me special! This is about you constantly needing to label me!”

“I don’t label you!” I snap.

She breaks the board over her knee in anger “Yes you do!” She screams. Now almost to the point of hysterical crying. “You always label! I don’t want to be reminded that I’m different in my own fucking house!”

I gasp “Don’t you dare curse at me!” I yell back.

She looks at me with rage, anger, hatred with tear-filled blue eyes, and shouts “Then stop fucking trying to talk to me!!!!”

**Slam!!**

First time! Adora slammed a door in my face and say the F word at me. I must be the worst mother ever! I look down at the broken rainbow puzzle piece I made her. Technically, I bought the thin wooden puzzle piece at Hobby Lobby, but I painted it on my own. It was a quick and sweet gesture I made. After her being upset about my poor words Friday morning and I tried to make things better today. Instead, I made things a million times worse. Being so proud to make this cute little wall hanging was the ultimate trigger to all Adora’s insecurities and her now very evident loathing towards me. Her words sting sharply.

I try my best to keep it together. Hearing her that upset reminds me of how emotionally fragile she was when we first adopted her. When she was little and we first adopted her, she would tremble and whimper under fear of us. She feared me at first, she didn’t love me back then. Right now, I doubt she does. I never try to deliberately hurt my children. My eyes water as I head downstairs to my office. What was I thinking? Of course, anything autism themed would set her off. She made it very clear to me by the time she was nine that she didn’t want to be reminded she was autistic. I slipped up once when she was twelve at a pizza party after a soccer match and she wanted to leave right then and there because of it. Secretly crying to Glimmer and asking if she looked different from the other girls on the team because of it. I felt awful. I did it all over again. I tried to push myself being proud of her for being different, into me just hyper-focusing on the things that she feels shame over. I’m the reason she’s not comfortable with her autism. Now I’m going to be the reason she’s uncomfortable in being gay?

My door opens to my office and in comes to my husband. Happy to see me, until he realizes I’ve been crying.

He called “Angie?”

I whimper out a pathetic sob “Adora hates me”


	8. Disaster lesbian Saturday night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Adora and Catra's Saturday night together after Catra moves into her new home.

_Nothing can be more demeaning and humiliating then what Mandy, Cheryl, and the stupid ass Glimmer did to me. Glimmer ran her stupid mouth to her mom about me sleeping in my storage unit and of course, Angella, the Queen of not minding her own business had to swoop in and tell Mandy about it. I bet she guilted them into taking me in like I’m some stray cat. I never wanted this! I never wanted anyone to see me this week before. How embarrassing to be dragged out of the storage unit place. I started crying and everything. So much for looking mature. They must think the worst of me. Cheryl is being so nice and supportive. I think what would have made this even worse if Scorpia was here. She’s at her grandparents for the weekend. I think if she saw me cry it would have been a million times worse. She’s a hugger, and she would have tried to hug me and that would have only made me cry more. I pretend to be asleep still as Cheryl comes downstairs._

She sat on the bed and whispered “Carlotta, sweetie? We’re going out tonight. You’ll have the house to yourself. I made you some dinner, it’s in the fridge upstairs. Okay, if you need anything let me know. We’ll come home right away if you need anything”

I nod. I still can't bring myself to face her after earlier today _. I freaked out on them. I yelled I shouldn’t have done that._

I can feel her hand coming closer to me and I tense up, she asks “Can I touch your head? I know you don’t like your back being touched”

I just nod again. I’m still not saying anything as she gently strokes my hair. Sue used to do this to me. When I was little and when I was at Kingdom Hall with sue, she would stroke m hair and brag to other hall members about how pretty my hair was. Cheryl tells me “I know this was a bad day for you. We love….. I’m sorry if we came off as pushy. We just want you to be safe. I know you can do everything on your own, but that doesn’t mean you should….. you’re such a smart and independent girl, you shouldn’t stress at night on where you're going to sleep or when you're going to eat next”

I know it's her being nice. It’s just so hard to accept it. 

She then adds in “I know we’re overstepping bounds with you, but for us, please? Stay here?”

_I want to cry all over again. But I just nod. She leans in and kisses me on the temple and leaves. My body shakes. This is such a different emotion. I feel safe with them, I know they’re good people. But I’m so scared. Scared of them not loving me. If I were out my welcome like I did with Lonnie’s family?_

I toss and turn some more. I check my phone and see Adora sent an IM on Facebook. Her message wrote: _Mom and I got into an argument. She took my phone and car keys away. I’m grounded._

I send her back a message asking: _What was the argument about?_

She replied with _: You. And a little of me being gay. She made this stupid sign for my bedroom door that lets everyone know I’m gay and on the spectrum. She said she wanted to make me feel better by having it. Which is the exact opposite of what I want? I don’t need an image reminded of how messed I am._

I reply in all cap locks: _YOUR NOT MESSED UP!!!! YOUR AMAZING!!! FUCK YOUR MOM IF SHE CAN'T SEE THAT! BESIDES WHO THE HELL THINKS THAT PLACING A SIGN ON SOMEONE's DOOR TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THEY’RE GAY IS COOL!_

She responds _I know! I called her a Nazi because that’s what they did to Jews and gay people in World War II._

I take a minute to respond: _So, are you grounded for being gay or what? Is she just mad you yelled?_

She replies _I think that, and she’s probably just so fed up with me. It must be a pain for her to have to worry about me all the time._

I respond: _That’s her issue if she feels burdened, she shouldn’t have had kids if she doesn’t like dealing with them._

She responds _: Oh no, she LOVES Glimmer! My older sister is the perfect star child! Glimmer and dad have a special bond and Glimmer is going to law school to become a lawyer like a dad. So they have this thing where watch crime documentaries on Netflix and pause and debate or make fun of them. They want to do a podcast or YouTube channel together where they talk about courtroom stuff like that. She and mom bump heads, but it is clear as the day they have some level of respect for one another._

I ask: _What about you?_

She answers me, but it is a much sadder response then I had thought it would be: _I’m the baby of the family. The big stupid baby. Glimmer’s senior project for school was about work-study or business accomplishment and she decided to one over everyone and publish an actual fucking book! Look it up “Teen and Law” by Glimmer Fucking Brighton. Dad and mom treat me like I’m eight still. Mom and I don’t have anything in common. I’m the one who likes sports and I think my family just humors me. I try to do as many sports as possible to like I have some type of accomplishment under my belt, but in reality, my adoptive parents are a doctor and lawyer, my sister is going to be a lawyer and probably write more books, and then here I being the retarded one who likes sports._

I felt sad. That’s so fucked up. I thought Adora got adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Super parents, but instead, she’s just made to feel like the dumb one. What the hell!

She adds in: _They’re going out tonight and I’m here alone to just cry my eyes out._

I ask: _Do you know when they will come back?_

She replies: No, I don’t want to be here right now? Where are you?

I pause. I have no idea what this address is. I check to confirm where the hell I am and reply with Scorpia’s address to let her know. She says she’s taking her bike and she’ll be right over. She cant stand being at her house and just wants to leave.

I feel my heart thumb a little in my chest. Is it messed up to be relived Adora is having such a bad day? With her being upset I can help her and avoid all my stuff. She gets so one-track-minded, that she might not even really question me on why I’m here and that’s fine by me. The last thing I want to do is tell Adora I threw a temper tantrum over being offered a place to live. I’ll look like an idiot for that. 

I start to walk around the house without anyone here. They leave all their bedroom doors open for some reason, which I think is odd, but then again, they’re family and they don’t need to worry about people stealing their stuff. Living with Sue and even in the shelter, I knew that feeling all too well. 

I see they have a lot of family photos on the walls. I’m going to take a wild guess and assume Scorpia’s family is massive in size. I walk into the kitchen and see that Cheryl left a not for me on the fridge saying “Tuna melt and fries are in the fridge for you. use the air fryer to get the fries crispy again. Love Cher and & Mand”

I want to cry all over again. They know my favorite sandwich. Do they pay that much attention to an employee?

It doesn’t take Adora long to get to me. Turns out we went from being ten-miles apart to be 10-minutes apart. Turns out Scorpia’s parents live in a nice neighborhood that is only a few streets away from Adora’s, really, nice neighborhood. I brush my teeth and try my best to look presentable. I feel so nervous to see her. I’m finally inviting her over to a place that I stay and I’m comfortable. 

She comes down the street. On a bike with a helmet _. Can I just stop to think how cute it is that she wears a helmet while she bikes? I know you're supposed to always wear one, but no one ever does, I never do._

When she’s at the door I can’t help but smile and feel all fluttery inside. _My old friend is here. My old… crush?_ If she keeps smiling at me, she’s going to be my new crush. _Wait? Do I even like girls?_

I walk in and give her a somewhat tour. I tell her I live here now and she doesn’t question the reason. Which, I’m totally fine with. I don’t want to get into it. We head downstairs and she vents to me about how much Angella sucks and I am fine with that. 

Things are finally deescalating. So much as happened in such a short amount of time for me and it all started with Adora. Because of Adora, I’m here, right now with her. She leans rests her head on y shoulder as she sighs “What should I do about my mom?”

_Like I have a clue!?_

I clear my throat a little and answer “Well maybe just….Uh…..” I think about choosing my words carefully. I don’t want to offend Adora since she’s a total mommy’s girl. She needs comfort right now and she came to me for it. I’ve never been good at this and I don’t want to give her bad advice. I tense up at the thought of Angella treating her badly. _Why? All because I shared a bed with Adora? get over yourself! Not all lesbians want to run around and fuck everyone! I can't let that go if that’s what’s hurting Adora so much, and the autism thing? Why does it matter if Adora is autistic? I have ADHD? You don’t see me running around with that on a t-shirt or anything? So no! fuck you Angella you don’t get sympathy from me!_

I moved and grab Adora by her shoulders and look her in the eyes and tell her “Your mom can’t make you parade yourself around in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. You need to let go of this mommy pleasing mentality and do what you want. Don’t be scared of her, tell her ass off. Don’t act like a nut case or anything, but it’s okay to disagree with her. Be more independent if you show her you're not a baby, they won’t treat you like one! I’ll help you with that! all of that!”

I stop and watch her smile at me. Her face looks a little pinker than before and now my face feels like it’s going pink. I don’t know what else to say some my brain goes into some weird autopilot mode as I hyper-focus on her lips. “You can do whatever you want….. you can date whoever you want…” my face warmer as I stutter “W-when you go to c-college. There will be hundreds of lesbians lining up to date you because you’re so pretty and nice, and smart, and fun to be around” she looks away a little at me as I say all that. her face is redder now that I blurted all that out. 

She looks like she might be leaning in closer as she says “Thank you, Catra, but it’s not easy. I’m afraid of rejection. What if I have a Mermista incident all over again?”

I place my hands on her forearms. Still looking at her eyes as I say “Then they don’t deserve you” I roll my eyes and quip “Besides, I met Mermista the other night at a party and her hair looks like crap”

Adora gasped a little and asked, “What was wrong with her hair?”

I snort and list “First off, she doesn’t use a hair stranger right because the back of her hair was all fucked up and second, whoever dyed her hair that color green needs to go to jail because her hair looks like baby poop”

Adora covered her mouth to cover her laugh “No, Catra, don’t make fun of her hair”

I tease some more and say “You need to step up your crush game Adora, you cant be seen holding hands with a girl with a bad hairstyle. You need someone to match you in beauty”

She then licks her lips nervously and asked: “Like you?”

_Oh. Dang. Oh! Oh! Shit! My brain stopped working!_

I avert my eyes and start blushing extra hard. No one way I can lie and say I’m not. “W-well, yeah. I mean…. I’m not saying I’m a 10, but I know I would be better for you then, her! I can dye my hair without looking like a troll doll”

She giggled and asked, “Would you date me?”

I’m not probably the color of a tomato right now, but then again, so is she as I stutter “Y-yeah…. I’d date you. If you wanted me to date you, I would”

She turned away from me and covered her ears in some sort of panic _. Is this her stimming? She did this when we were five, but I’ve never seen her do it since._

She whimpered “I—I can't do this again. I can’t fall for every pretty girl who is nice to me” she moves her hands away and looks sad at me as she asks “Do you mean it? Or are you just being nice to me? I’m not good at figuring people out sometimes” she looked like she wanted to cry as she turned her body to face me again. “Please, tell me I’m not wrong about what I’m feeling. I want to think your serious, but I think I’m jumping to conclusions. We just reunited a week ago and now I like you, like you,”

Does she think I don’t like her, liker her?

My brain stops working again as I cup her face and kiss her. She squeaks and pulls away, covering her mouth.

I gasp and cover my own “Oh God! I’m so sorry Adora! I thought that was what you wanted!”

_I messed up!_

She shakes her head and makes a flustered sound “No, I did want that I just got surprised. Do over, please” she says as she faces her hands away from her face. She gives me this super cute smile that just screams _I’m adorable and embarrassed_ all at the same time. I’m probably giving the same look as I softly reply “Yeah, do-over”

We kiss again. And again. And again. Then I try to slip in a little tongue, and she pulls away and says she doesn’t know how to French kiss. _Who says French kiss anymore!? What are you? Twelve? It’s called making out, Adora! seriously, how are you allowed to be this cute!_

I say we’ll work on it another time and we go back to lip pecks and forehead touching. Our eyes are closed as our foreheads touch and she softly asks “What about my mom? How do I tell her this?”

I ask her “Ever rebled against your mom?”

“No” she replies. 

Figures a mommy’s girl wouldn’t. I softly reply in the coolest way possible “Rebel against her now. If you're going to try and be more independent, you should throw in some secret-keeping too and date me without her knowing”

She moves her face away to look at me “So secret girlfriend?”

I nod definitely.

She asks me “W-would you say it?”

I get a little confused “Say what?”

She bits her lip a little and asks “Would you ask me out. Ask me to be your secret girlfriend?” 

_How have you not died from blushing yet today?_

I feel my face go warm as a bashfully ask “Adora, will you be my secret girlfriend?”

She nods and we kiss again. We keep kissing for a little while longer. Before she leaves, she tells me she can only message me through Facebook, since her mom took her phone away. As she leaves, I feel myself sort of let into my new and think for a minute. I cover my face with the pillow and let out and embarrassingly happy squeal. I can't believe how everything has turned out. I went from being miserable, expelled, homeless, to having a home, and now….Adora! I have Adora!

I can’t believe it. For the first time in a long time. I’m happy. I’m, really, happy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next, We see Angella and Micah at a gay bar doing shots, aking friends, and getting solid advice from other parents.


	9. Mom gone Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angella gets drunk at a gay bar (WARNING PARENTS HAVING SEX!!!)

_I kissed her! I can’t believe I kissed her! She kissed me back and wanted to! She said she liked it! She wants to be my girlfriend! I have a girlfriend! I can barely feel my face! I know I’m all red and stuff, but I got my real, legit, first kiss from a girl who likes me! YEAHH!!!!! Her lips were so soft. She smiled at me after we kissed. She even blushed. I mean…. So, was I, but I don’t think she could tell?_

Thinking about her is making me all tingly inside and out and—oh! This bike ride is not going to help me. My face heats all over again. _I have to bike home horny! Ewww!_

My stupid big sister: Princess Glimmer was home for the weekend. Part of me was worried she was going to tell me that mom called, or worse, mom was home. I lucked out and she was too busy getting ready for a party than to go bother me. As soon as she was done with the bathroom I rushed in with my towel. My naughty routine of turning the water on, stripping down, laying in the bathtub with my legs open as I let the detachable showerhead help with alleviating my stress. I’m not some chronic masturbater It’s technically mom’s fault I discovered this. I fractured my ankle in ninth grade playing soccer and she said to shower laying down and to use the showerhead. I rinsed off the soap on my tummy, hit a little lower by mistake, and found a quite different usage for this showerhead. I do not do it often. Only that one time when Netossa hugged me after a soccer game, when I met that really pretty teacher's assistant in Algebra sophomore year, and when I discovered my dad's sports illustrated calendar during Christmas, and when Heather Nelson had a nip slip after homecoming. Other than those incidents I am a saint!

I enjoy the waters feeling in my nether until Glimmer rudely decides to barge in without asking. Saved from the embarrassment by a dark blue shower curtain I cry “Go away Glimmer!”

She ignores me as I hear her shuffle in “I’m just brushing my teeth, chill,”

_I can’t chill! Not if you're in here!_

I growl and evade the showerhead from my lady bits. 

She then asks me “So how is Catra doing now that she’s with the Danvers?”

I scoff “You care?”

She spits out her toothpaste and corrected me “I do. When I saw her at the movie theater and found out she didn’t have a place to stay, I couldn’t just ignore it”

I let out a fake laugh “Ha! Movie theater, is that what you told mom? I know where you were”

Glimmer rinsed her mouth and clapped back with “It was either go with the movie theater story or tell mom your friend was selling booze out of a backpack at a frat party”

I flick her off from behind the shower curtain. She has me there…… If mom knew Catra was doing that, she would hate her even more. Glimmer’s lie softens Catra’s situation.

She asks me “What happened with you and mom?”

I grumble “Did you not see her little sign for me?”

She answers “I saw a broken rainbow thing in the recycle bin. She told me you swore at her. I never figured you would have it in you do flip out on mom”

I want to scream. The mention of mom ruined all my tingly feels in between my legs, and I turned off the showerhead. I brought my knees closer to me as I sulk for a second and reply “Yeah, well. It does not matter what I say, does it? I am the _special_ one, why do you care? Is mom your new best friend? I know you’re the star child and everything, so I guess it makes sense your taking her side—just like you did with Mermista”

I hear her huff and then exhale as she calmly says “You know what Adora? I’m not picking sides. I think mom made a bad call and I think Mermista didn’t handle friend-zoning you well, but—if you want to keep acting like an eight-year-old when someone makes you mildly uncomfortable, then, well, be my guest” she says as she leaves the bathroom. I hear the door close as my heartaches. Glimmer thinks I act like an eight-year-old? I fight back a whimper to prove her wrong. She then opens up the bathroom door to say “Oh, and by the way, I’m not mom’s star child. Mom never shuts up about you when I’m around her, or anyone for that matter. Just because you don’t like being autistic doesn’t give you the right to take it out on mom, that’s your problem, no one else’s”

She closes the door again. _Am I the problem?_

She opens the door one final time to say “Also, mom and dad don’t know this, but I do, sitting in the shower makes it obvious what you're doing” she laughs as she leaves me alone for the final time.

_What the heck I can’t be autistic, gay, or masturbate in my own house!? What the fuck!_

\--

I check how I look in the mirror. Losing confidence in my outfit choice. These are my usual date clothes. A nice cranberry cocktail dress and sensible pumps. My makeup isn’t too heavy. The lipstick is a nice touch; I see my husband is focused on my lips as I try not to notice. He was wearing a cranberry button up to match my dress and his white gold chain around his neck. A few buttons left undone so his undershirt would show. I can’t help but smile at him, his grey streaks in his hair and beard made him look so distinguished. He was by far the most handsome man I know. I look out the window and think that I might suggest we be a little _closer_ tonight. _We haven’t had sex in at least three weeks, I’m sure he wouldn’t protest._

I look at him. He’s holding back a chuckle as he starts to adjust his belt buckle. I see what he is doing, and I snap “Darling!”

He removed his manhood from his zipper and chuckled “C’mon, just a little”

I blush and cry “No! not in the Tacoma! No!”

He laughs as he starts to wiggle it. “Just a little, please. I saw the look you gave me; you think you can just wear that dress and straighten your hair and not cause a boner?”

I glance at him and it as I ask, “Do you need me to, darling?”

He shrugs as he replies “I’m not making any demands, love. I just don’t think it’s proper for me to meet your lesbian friends with an erection”

I groan.

He snorts as he taunts me. “Oh, what hard decision for Dr. Brighton, such a long, hard, and girthy decision”

I glare at him and try not to smile at his dirty talk. He teases me further “What to do, what to do, with this big dilemma”

I roll my eyes and give in as I place my right hand over his manhood as warn him “Don’t ask for this again later” 

After handling that situation and having to undignifiedly spit into a Wendy’s napkin when it was all over. We were at the bar and for some reason, it did not occur to me that this was a gay bar. _Wait? Did Madeline not realize I’m married?_

I couldn’t dwell on my thoughts as Micah started laughing “Oh my gosh it’s a gay bar! HHHAAHAAAHHHAAAA! We got invited to a gay bar!”

I shushed him “Stop that!”

He ceased his laughter as he commented “Good thing you helped me out with that problem I had on the way here or I wouldn’t be able to guarantee I would be coming home with you tonight”

I shoot him another glare.

“Please don’t embarrass me!” I plead with him.

He lets out a fake gasp “Really, you think I would?”

I remind him “Every time you get drunk you feel the need to bring up some embarrassing story for fun”

He crossed his arms and commented, “Like what?”

I reminded him “Last Christmas party with Jillian you brought up the time I stole a golf cart in college and drove it around the campus naked”

He shrugged “She thought it was awesome”

“I didn’t! how awkward was it for me to the next day at work to see her and know she has some crazy story about me from my college years”

He waved his hand “Oh, the onetime sweetie, It never came up again”

I cross my arms “Hanna Marie asked about it and you told her. Then you told her about the time when my mother walked in on us!”

He laughed “C’mon, it was funny. Besides, Hanna had just told us about the time Mermista walked in on her”

I growl “We don’t need to swap embarrassing stories. I swear all you need is one sip of whiskey and this entire bar will know the time you handcuffed me to the bed and lost the key!”

His eyes went wide as he claimed: “Hey, that was a fun story!”

“Not for me it’s not! Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was!”

He snorted “You get embarrassed easily”

I look away from him. He exited the car and came to my door to open it for me. He extended his hand and offered “I’ll be the sober one tonight, baby. I know you're stressed, so tonight, unwind”

I smile at him. He’s such a sweetie. 

I take his hand and kiss him. 

Tonight, it will be fine. He is right, I do need this. I need to unwind.

\--

I know that look. I know what she’s thinking. She’s internally spiraling. My poor Angie doesn’t get out much, she doesn’t get invited out too many social events unless she’s asked to speak or volunteer time, no one goes out of their way for us. I know that hurts her. Jillian and Hanna go out for drinks all the time, I should know since Angella followed them on Twitter and sulks about how she wished they would have offered for her to go. I don’t like anyone hurting my wife’s feelings, unintentional or not, those too should know better to post things like that and know that Angella wants to hang out with them. I’m glad I came along. I can see she’s afraid to mess this up.

I take her hand as we go in. I couldn't help but notice the looks I was getting from other men as I walked in. A drag queen walked past us and whispered “daddy” as they left out the front door. 

We see Cheryl and Mandy and go right to their table. This may be more horrible male cis brain working, but both ladies are very pretty, I can't tell which one is the man in the relationship. Mandy is taller and more built. Long black hair pulled back in a bun, and Cheryl is petite with a blonde bob cut. Either one of them can be the dude. I look over to Angella and think to myself If I were a lesbian would I still be the man in the relationship? No… probably not. Angella wears the pants in our relationship now. 

I feel Angella’s hand tense a little. She’s nervous. I know what I need to do, and that is to take the lead in the conversation. I know when I do this, she can bounce in and out of the conversation and not stress out. 

We sit at the table with them, I shake both their hands and introduce myself as Angella’s trophy husband. They laugh and Angella starts to become less tense. I say “Well, this is the first time we’ve ever hung out, outside of a parent-teacher conference, so—anything good going on with you two right now?”

The two look at each other and Cheryl answers. “We’ve been great. Business has been good, our daughter has been looking into some after high school ideas, like maybe the military or a trade school. So, that’s been preoccupying us, and also, Catra is home right now, sleeping. Her day was much more stressful than ours have been”

Angella asked “She cleared out the storage unit, right?”

They nodded. Mandy commented “She wasn’t happy about us going there, we probably should have asked to talk to her out of that environment before we told her that she was coming with us”

My husband sense just knew Angella was about to disagree and probably say something offensive so I defused it quickly with “It’s upsetting for all of us to know what she’s been through, it’s just so good now that she has you two to help her”

We all mutually agree on that. I then ask “So? This place? Anything special going on tonight?”

Mandy answered “Trivia night”

Angella beams with excitement “Oh good! I’m great at that game”

Mandy gestured “You might want to head to the stage soon, Dorian calls out who plays”

Angella smiled at me. She looks so cute! a chance to show off how smart she is, and, in this setting, she’ll be rewarded for it.

Nothing can go wrong with a little trivia at a gay bar, right?

After more small talk, my still sober wife makes her way to the stage to compete in Trivia. The person running the show announces over the microphone in a very feminine voice “Ladies, Gentlemen, and whatever the hell I am~ welcome to Dorian Trivia, the exciting new twist on Trivia—As you can see I have a line of very gorgeous people waiting to show off their smarts to the whole bar,” he then pauses as a few laugh are heard around the room “The thing is—Trivia is something you can get anywhere, and here at the Crimson Waste, you come for entertainment, so when we answer a question right we take a shot! When we answer a question wrong—no shots” a few cheers are heard around the room and I instantly regret our decision to come here. “No one lasts on this stage long, but tonight, let's see who has the brain and the liver to handle—Dorian Trivia! Trademark pending!”

Angella then gives me a wave from the other side of the room Mandy also joined her up on stage for a round of Trivia. I wave back and groan “This won’t end well”

Cheryl looks at me and asked “Why?”

I rub my beard and reply “Well…. Angie is very competitive and also has a high alcohol tolerance…. and no internal sign to quit”

“Oh” she giggled. 

We sat and watched as Mandy and Angella walked up. They had a quick chance to introduce themselves. Of course, my love had to say she was _Dr. Brighton_ and the crowd gave a few “oohs” of interest. Dorian commented on her accent and dubbed her with the nickname “Queen Angella” which I like because she is _my_ queen.

I feel bad to not have any interest to watch the other patrons play. So, Cheryl and I talk about our kids. Cheryl is just like me; she took no time to whip out her phone and present me all her pictures of Scorpia on her phone. “Here is her after Catra gave her a makeover and cut her hair”

I nodded “She looks confident with her hair like that”

Cheryl nodded and looked back at the photo “Yeah, she does. We always thought she was beautiful, but she never felt the same about herself, it wasn’t until Catra gave her a little boost”

I asked “Are Catra and Scorpia close?”

She shrugged and averted her eyes “They were…. I think something happened. Scorpia tried to help Catra a year ago and Catra didn’t receive it well. I think my girl had a little crush on her and once Catra realized it, she started to close her off”

I frowned. 

She looked down as she said “We always like Catra, she’s a wonderful kid. But she doesn’t accept adult authority or help well at all”

It all makes sense.

She elaborated more on how Catra would struggle and go without. How they would know she needed things and had no way of offering help without offending the _legal adult_ that she was. She told me about a time when they would lie and say they had canceled deli orders and she could take the free sandwiches home with her. It was a sad story, it made me think of how this could have been Adora’s life if Sue had kept her. 

She lightened the mood back by showing me pictures of the room Catra now had. I was happy for her. After that we showed off pictures of our cute kids.

All photos that if Scorpia and Glimmer where here they would protest in embarrassment about. But, as a dad, I can’t help but show off all of Glimmer and Adora’s soccer photos and Cheryl was the same with her photos of Scorpia in karate classes. We also joked about how odd our kid’s names were. I explained that we named our daughter Glimmer because she was a miracle baby and it made sense for us at the time. Scorpia got her name because they thought she would be a boy and already had Scorpio picked out. So, when they had a girl, they just changed the last letter in the name. Also, fun fact. Mandy has a twin brother and he was the surrogate. So, that is why Scorpia looks like a perfect blend between the two women.

We stopped when Mandy came back to the table. She sighed in defeat “I named the wrong date for Watergate” she almost lost her footing as she sat next to her wife. Cheryl giggled and patted her hand “How many shots did you get”

She snorted “Two, but after that I can tap out happy. I’m surprised they don’t charge for trivia. The amount of booze they go through is insane”

I look up and see Angella standing on stage. Arms crossed with a smug look of triumph, her cheeks a little flushed from alcohol as she went up against a drag queen and won. Seeing her down a shot with ease reminded me of her college days. The hot foreign exchange student who could down half a bottle of vodka in one night and still be a goddess. 

Dorian made the cheeky remark “The Queen is here to stay darlings. She’s undefeated!” he pointed the mic to her and asked, “Your four shots in, love is you sure you want to keep going?”

She drunkenly nodded and tried to keep her balance.

Four more shots and the whole bar that was paying attention to trivia started to chant “The doctor!” every shot. Now completely drunk off her ass. Angella would now answer a question right, take a shot and then yell some random thing. She’s been under so much stress lately that anything and everything was coming out of her mouth. Thankfully I noticed Dorian wasn’t giving her actual alcohol shots anymore and was just filling a shot glass with what I can assume Is cranberry juice in a disguised bottle. 

She had almost beaten the entire bar at trivia. When she answered another question right and took a shot, she grabbed Dorian’s mic and yelled “The answer is 1942! And also, I just want to say Fuck Jillian and Hanna for never inviting me places!”

A roar of cheers came from that.

Another question. Another answer right and another internal quip “Not all British people know each other! That Wanker JK Rowling and Allen Rickman can piss off!”

The lesbians in the background cheered “I love you Doctor Brighton!”

My wife then points back to her “And I love you, pink-haired child!”

People started laughing. 

I could now feel a sense of worry. She was getting louder and louder and the last time she got this drunk and loud she puked all over herself. Granted only I saw it the last time, but I can't risk her humiliating herself in front of a whole bar of people and our hopefully new friends. 

I stood up and shouted, “Do one more!”

Hoping that would be the cap off. Dorian grinned at me and gave Angella one more question and she answered right. 

Her final statement to the audience “I love gays! You are all welcomed at my clinic for breast enlargement anytime!”

Dorian chuckled and took the mic back and said “Well you all know where I will be tomorrow, Okay ladies that raps up Trivia night! A round of applause for Queen Angella!”

The crowd cheered as my wife wobbly raised her arms in victory. I rushed over to the stage. Knowing her well enough to know she would fall on her ass any second now. I scoop her up bridal style and walked off stage with her. It only invoked more cheers from the crowd; assuming this was an act of affection instead of damage control. I carried out of the front door and people still cheered for the Queen. Mandy and Cheryl followed after. The second we got close to our car Angella started to scold me “Wa—What was the bloody idea Micah! I was having fun!” she slurred her words. I sat her try to stand as she clung to my arm and remanded “I could have gone for other rounds”

I frown “I know sweetie, but if I didn’t get you off stage soon you were going to—”

I couldn’t even finish my sentence as Angella fell to her hands and knees and violently vomited eight shots of vodka and cranberry juice. 

I heard Mandy and Cheryl gasp as they came closer to us. 

Angella coughed a little as I helped her up. Her eyes were watery, and I held her close. I kissed her forehead.

Mandy asked, “Is she okay?”

Angella tried to stand up straight as she commented “Fine. I’m fine” she looked down at the ground that was covered in her shame and pointe to it “That was here before we arrived”

The three of us laughed. Angella tried to laugh too but it only caused her to throw up some more. She then commented “T-this one was all me…. My bad”

Since I was sober, I offered to drop them off home so they wouldn’t take an Uber. Mandy sat in front with me as Cheryl sat in the back with Angella. Letting Angie’s headrest on her lap as she ungracefully laid in the backseat. A plastic bag was near her just in case. 

Mandy laughed as she asked, “I take it she was a party girl in her youth?”

I chuckled “That is how I fell in love with her, imagine Angie with a shorter haircut, leather jacket, cigarette in one hand and a bottle of gin in the other while riding a motorcycle”

Angella groaned from the back and corrected “Moped”

I laugh “She was a bad girl?”

Angella retorted “It was the 90’s and that’s what you Americans deemed as cool back in the day!”

Mandy chuckled “You both met in college?”

I nodded “Yep, I was scouted by Yale as an inner-city success story and got a full scholarship, and Angella was scouted from an international recruiter. We both joined fraternities and met through mutual friends”

Cheryl commented “Your both Yale Graduates!?”

I nodded “I don’t like to brag”

“I do” Angella added.

We laughed. 

Mandy then asked “We should do this again”

I smile “Yeah, we should” I look in the rearview mirror and question “Right Angie”

She groans and mutters “Yes” 

After dropping the Danvers off to their home Angella took the front seat again. Stroking my inner thigh and humming “You know it’s late and the girls won't be up, so we can….” She trailed off as she grabbed my junk. I squeaked almost as I declared “Baby aren’t you tired? You have church tomorrow!”

She starts to fidget drunkenly with my belt “There is nothing against the lord in a wife pleasuring her husband”

I cough as I remind her “You already did earlier”

She then growled “Yes, and you selfishly have not offered to return the pleasure to me”

My eyes went wide as I asked “Angie would you like me to…. You know…. eat you out?”

She crossed her arms and pouted “It shouldn’t be such a chore for you to do so, Micah”

I felt my face burn as I stuttered out a reply “I—I never aid it was. You just always turn it when I suggest it! If you want it, I’ll give it to you as soon as we got home”

We arrived home. Angella rushed into the bathroom to freshen up. I barely had time to undress as my drunk and horny wife bounced on me. Completely naked, freshly brushed teeth and still emanating her drunken glow. She went to kiss my neck passionately as she straddled my pants. I couldn’t focus as all the blood rushed to my groin. Moving on top of her I got up to undo my pants and shirt. Her legs opened for me. I grinned as I lowered myself to her. Licking up and down her sex she cried “OH! your tongue” she was much louder in bed than usual. Typically, we are super quiet due to Glimmer’s room being next to ours. 

I rub my beard on her left inner thigh and she moans loudly.

I suggest to her “Darling Glimmer is home this weekend; we don’t want her to hear us”

To which my wife replies with “We pay the fucking mortgage, her tuition, her car, and her cellphone, she can piss off if she has an issue with our love”

I nod in agreement as I know I might have to apologize profusely to my daughter in the morning.


	10. Take me to Church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angella is hungover, Micah is horny, and the girls are stuck going to church.

I regret every shot I took last night. How foolish of me to think I can drink the way I did in my youth. How embarrassing for me to act like that in front of the Danvers. To my surprise, they invited us out again. Also, to my surprise, I woke up naked next to my equally naked husband as he slept with a smile on his face. Waking up for some morning tea I was greeted by my eldest daughter; who informed me that she could hear us last night and we were in her words “Having loud old people sex” to absolve my embarrassment I forced her to go to church with Adora, Micah and me. 

So

Here we are. Driving to the church in my car. My husband in the passenger seat, one grumpy ungrateful college-age daughter to the left and another high school age grumpy daughter to the right and I have the worst headache imaginable. 

Glimmer starts to test my patience first “We’re not kids anymore; you can’t force us go to church” she protests.

I curtly reply “I never forced you”

“You took my freakin phone” she deadpans to me.

Micah snorts at that. 

I see a tiny smile come over Adora’s face. The second my eyes meet hers in the rearview mirror she glares at me and turns away. Usually, she would defend Glimmer from talking back, but it seems like she’s more upset with me after time to think. Glimmer growled and asked, “Since you have my phone, can you at least look at the pictures I sent you on how I want my hair to look?”

I reply “Oh, the purple and pink hair you showed me?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“I saw them. I hate them. Don’t dye your hair such ridiculous colors”

“They're not ridiculous, it’s stylish. Lots of girls on campus have multiple color hair” she defended

I roll my eyes and scoff “What? The art majors?”

“No mom, law students too”

“I don’t see why you want to destroy your natural hair color. You were born with such beautiful strawberry blonde hair, that you received courtesy of me, and now you want to ruin it” I huff. It should be obvious to her that I do not want my daughter running around looking like a cartoon character at law school! Micah smirks at me. Glimmer’s hair is too cute to ruin with such chemical damnation.

She then remarks “You dye your gray hairs all the time”

I shoot Micah a look as he glares and asks, “You dye your greys?”

I keep my eyes on the road as I stutter out “I don’t have any greys!” I defend.

Adora then joins the peanut gallery of commentators and chimes in with “You did two weeks ago, but you went to the salon while I was at the eye doctor”

My jaw drops in disappointment. I shoot her a look from the rearview mirror as she smirks at me from behind my seat.

Micah crosses his arms and remarks “Why is it that you can dye your grey hairs, but when I mentioned wanting to dye my hair, you said to not and that my greys were distinguished”

“They are!” I cry.

Our daughters start giggling in the back seat.

Micah rolls his eyes “Sure, here I am looking old while you get to dye your hair and stuff. You said grey hair was foxy, now I see that only applies when you say so,”

I warn him “Are you being serious right now?”

He shrugged and tugged on his turtleneck to scratch his neck. The hickeys I left on him from the previous night were visible.

Adora then innocently asked, “Dad why is your neck all bruised?”

He freezes in his seat as he glances over to me with his ears going red. My face also feels like it’s going red. I focus on the road as I turn into the church parking lot. Glimmer commented “Those aren’t bruises, Adora”

It takes a few seconds for Adora to process what she means, and the two girls start giggling again. I see my face in the rearview mirror is beat red. Micah decides to torment with making the smart remark to our daughters “Hey, she’d be wearing turtleneck too if she didn’t dye her greys”

“Micah!” I warn.

He smirked “I’ve been told my grey hairs are distinguished”

“Micah,” I warn again.

“Hey,” he tugged on his turtleneck “I’m stuck dressing like Steve Jobs because of you”

My headache starts to return “This is going to be a long service”

Getting in we were greeted at the door and sat in our usual spot. Not many people attending the service this Sunday. Adora usually sits next to me and Glimmer sits next to Micah, but Adora dashed to her father’s side. Glimmer shot her a look and took a spot closest to me. I raised a brow in confusion as Glimmer mouthed to me _“She’s mad at me”_

I nod and mouth back _“Why?”_

I look over to see her giving us a look; including Micah and I say “We’ll talk later”

The service went on.

The lesson was on _Ephesians 6:1-4_ and obeying parental figures. It was a good service. Talking about the family social disconnect and how technology replaces conversations needed to be had by parents and children. A fun story he shared was how his son blew his engine in his car because he watched a YouTube video on changing spark plugs. Knowing his father knew how to work on cars he relied on watching a video on his phone over asking his father for advice. I saw Adora shifted a little in her seat as she looked down. I think the story got to her. Maybe she followed some bad advice over the internet on how to handle her gayness. I know I shouldn’t call it that, but she won't talk to me at all about it. After the service, the congregation had a coffee hour. Most families stay to mingle and catch up on the week with other families. We sat close to the front, so we didn’t even see that Hanna-Marie, her new husband, and Mermista were sitting in the back. I went over to see them. Hanna had the hugest smile on her face as she greeted me. She must be relieved to see a familiar face. I met her new husband Curtis years ago before they met and he’s a born again Christian and I’ve known Hanna for years to know Church isn’t her thing so she must have been bored. Mermista looks just as happy to see me and Glimmer as we walk over. I notice Mermista has her hair up and the light reflecting off her head shows a greenish hue to her hair. 

Hanna must have caught my glance as she pointed to Mermista “Like her hair? Because I hate it” I chuckled and offered “Glimmer wants to dye her hair”

“I take it you told her no?” she asked.

I was about to tell her that I was using Glimmer’s hair as leverage against her when Adora came over and asked me “Mom, can I stay with the youth group for—” she froze as if she saw a ghost when she sees Mermista’s and Hanna’s face. She looked over to me and then mustered out a scared “N-Nevermind, sorry”

I internally cringed at the awkwardness. I can sense their discomfort. Luckily Glimmer did too and sparked the conversation to be about hair “I want to dye my hair half pink and half purple, but mom threatened to take my car away if I did” we had a laugh at that went on to talk about college stuff and us mothers poked fun at our daughter's foolish freshmen trends. 

After that, I went to go see where Adora ran off too since she wasn’t at the youth group room. I looked down at my phone and saw Micah sent me a text.

**Micah:** Adora wasn’t feeling well, so I’m bringing her home. I’ll come right back.

I know that isn’t true.

The church is only a few minutes away from home so, Glimmer and I stay and talk to a few more friends before waiting for Micah to come to get us.

Glimmer asks “Can we go to Dairy Queen?” 

I suggest “Maybe we should see if Adora wants to go with us”

Micah shook his head “No, I think she just needs some time alone right now. Y’know…. Stomach and all”

Glimmer rolls her eyes “Good excuse”

I offer “I’ll text her and tell her where we are going”

Micah coughs “Uh, Angie, you still have her phone”

“Oh, bullocks!” I smack my forehead. 

Glimmer then says “We can go without her”

“We went to olive garden without her last time, she didn’t care” Micah offered.

I nodded “Fine. We’ll go and get ice cream at 11am….” I mutter. Both of them cheer as I give in to their demands.

At Dairy Queen we all had ice cream. Micah and Glimmer were talking about school and what was her first case study on, while I just looked down at my phone. In a hostage take over I took Glimmer’s phone earlier that morning and kept it in my purse. I went to hand it over to her when I saw it light up from a text notification. Someone’s name with a heart emoji. I tease her as I hand it over. “Here Glimma, someone named Waltz just texted you”

Her face instantly colors with embarrassment as Micah questions “What kind of name is Waltz?”

She keeps her phone at a distance from him as she comments “It’s no one dad”

I grin as I say “I could have sworn that was a heart emoji by his name”

Her face goes redder as she insists “It’s no one”

Micah then took his phone out and claimed “I have a heart emoji next to your mom’s number on my phone” he says as he waves it in her face. Glimmer’s face melds into disgust as she comments “Eww, Dad, you have mom saved under _sexy lady_ ”

I raise a brow “Seriously?”

He grins and shows me “Yes, seriously, see? I even have your saved photo as our trip to the Key West”

I look and see it’s a photo of me and a dark red bathing suit. The photo seemed more zoomed in on my cleavage as I ask “You’re the only one that sees this right?”

He hummed as he replied “Well I got to have a trophy photo for my trophy lady”

My eyes go wide “Who else has seen this photo?”

Micah gave a sheepish smile and I growled.

Glimmer covered her face to hide her laughing. 

I snap at her with “Don’t think we have forgotten about this Waltz fellow”

Micah then asks, “What am I said under your phone as?”

I show proudly. He and Glimmer look at each other and then laugh.

I demand “What is so funny”

Micah answers “I’m saved under husband and you cropped our wedding photo for my profile picture”

I question “Yes and what is wrong with that?”

Glimmer chimes in with “Because it’s boring!”

I look around before I quietly snap “It is not”

Micah crossed his arms “Funny your photo of me is from over twenty years ago”

Glimmer snorted and replied “Yeah, before the greys”

The high fived and laughed at that. 

I crossed my arms and moved my phone over to Micah “Well, fine then, Micah, you can change your photo for yourself then, go ahead, and I’m changing mine for your phone”

We swap phones and Glimmer just laughs at us.

I scroll through his photos and become instantly annoyed at how much Micah takes photos with me not knowing. I saw an unflattering photo of myself taking off my makeup, sleeping facedown in our bed, one with me blowing my nose, and another with me in the bathroom! Not on the commode, but still, a little invasive is an understatement.

I snap “Micah, can you not act like a paparazzi in our own home?”

I smoothly replied “I won’t apologize for being so in love with you”

Me and Glimmer both give each other a look as he continues to scroll through my phone pictures and commented “You have the most boring camera scroll Angie”

I defended “I have pictures of us and the girls on my phone”

He replied with “Yeah, and some photos of billboards, some recipes you took a screenshot of, and three different walls—what? Did you take pictures of paint drying?”

Glimmer started laughing again.

I groaned and snatched my phone back.

He laughed at asked “Don’t worry, we won’t judge your love of watching paint dry,” he then nudged our laughing Glimmer and asked, “Does Waltz like to watch paint dry?”

Glimmer then remarked with “Hey, I thought we were making fun of mom?”

“We were never making fun of mom, just teasing, like I’m doing to you right now about Waltz, so who is he”

Glimmer in her embarrassment was trying to deflect the conversation away from this topic as I heard a second vibration come from my purse as I see Adora’s phone light up. I look at it and see she got a text notification. She had a few texts and a few missed calls. I haven’t been keeping an eye on her phone at all since I took it away. I stopped the conversation to look at see the last person to text her was Mermista.

Her text only saying “How long are you going to…..” and then it trailed off. 

I stare at it for a moment and thought about asking if Glimmer knew her password. I know that isn’t a fair thing to ask, so I didn’t. Instead, we continued to ask about Waltz. To which she embarrassedly answered that he is a guy who plays guitar at a coffee shop near her dorm. 

It was nice to have some quality time with Glimmer. She’s always been the daughter that has never paid her father and me any attention. 

When we got home, I saw that Adora was in her room. Specifically, in her walk-in closet. Her usual crying spots. That she has used ever since she was a little girl. When we first adopted her, she would either sit in the corner of her bedroom or in her closet to cry or self-punish herself. It was a heartbreaking habit that I thought she grew out of with getting older when in reality, she just does it less often than before. I know she did not want to see me. So, I did not bother her. 

Her phone vibrated a few more times. I wanted to see who was talking to her. I went downstairs into my office to see if I could crack the code. Adora isn’t too creative, so figuring out her password shouldn’t be hard. I tried her birthday, her favorite number, and her favorite holiday date, and none of them worked. As a fluke, I tried the date for adoption anniversary, and that worked. That would be sweet if I did not feel so awful. 

I opened up her texts to see who has texted her.

Mermista, Perfuma, Catra (with a heart emoji) next to her name, and some other random people. 

I saw Perfuma was the last person to text her.

**Perfuma (1:47am):** Hey, I know you probably want space right now, but it’s cool. You can always talk to me when you’re ready.

_Aww, that’s nice. Jillian should be proud to have such a sweet daughter._

The next Text was Mermista, and she had _A LOT_ to say.

**Mermista (10:45am):** Why did you run off from me the second you saw me? You did that right in front of my mom which isn’t cool. Did you forget my mom works under your mom? Do you want to make things awkward for my mom? she shouldn’t be made to feel weird over my friend-zoning you. 

_I would never give Hanna any indication of an ill will after what happened? Does Hanna think that I do?_

**Mermista (11:59am):** How long are you going to act like this? This isn’t fair to anyone. I’m sorry I didn’t return your feelings. It hasn’t been the same since you decided to ghost all of us. We’ve all asked to hang out with you all the time. All you do is ignore us now. 

_A little harsh, but I can understand the place where this is coming from_

**Mermista (12:30):** If you're going to ignore me that’s fine. Don’t ever say I didn’t try to befriend you when things changed. I’m still your friend even though you think I’m not. 

_Well, that still a little aggressive to be considered an olive branch to good nature. How little do I know these girls?_

I closed out of her texts to see she had multiple notifications from Facebook messenger. I opened it to see a conversation going on between her and Catra. One that has been going on all afternoon and even last night. I forgot Adora has her laptop. She needs that for school so I can’t take that away from her. 

**IM Messenger**

**Catra:** So, they just dropped you off and left you like that?

 **Adora:** No. Not exactly I knew I was going to start getting upset, so I asked dad to take me home. I told him I felt sick. Then he did and then they went off to Dairy Queen and hung out for over an hour.

 **Catra:** Do you feel left out?

 **Adora:** Sorta. They did this before when they went to Olive Garden, and when they go to concerts without me because the noise stresses me out. 

**Catra:** That’s fucked. They could of at least brought you an ice cream.

 **Adora:** Nope. Besides, I’m grounded, so I don’t deserve it. Plus, I did such a massive heel turn when I saw Mermista, so I doubt my mom wants to see me. I think they like it when it’s just the three of them sometimes. I’ve always felt like the fourth wheel to them. It’s hard to win their attention over. I’m competing with my soon to be lawyer sister, my lawyer dad, and my doctor's mom, and here I am being the retarded one who’s good and running and kicking.

 **Catra:** Wait? What the fuck they say that!?

 **Adora:** No. It’s just how I feel. I never seem to spark their interest unless I’m doing good at school or sports. I hate every second of it because even at my best it’s just “Her autism doesn’t hold her back” kind of bullshit. I can’t even get mad at my mom only for it, because dad says it to when he thinks I can’t hear and Glimmer has joked and called me _Rain Man_ before.

 **Catra:** That’s fucked **.**

 **Adora:** Nothing I can do about it.

 **Catra:** You can tell your mom how you feel. For a doctor, she needs to somewhat of a good listener. I mean her she’s listed as a top doctor in Rhode Island under Rate my MD and she’s in a bunch of freakin award things and shit.

 **Adora:** How do you know that?

 **Catra:** I Googled her. I wanted to see how legit she is. Now I gotta make sure what I’m up against. Usually, I can out talk about an adult and win an argument, but she went to Yale, so I’m fucked.

**Adora: LOL**

**Catra:** What is your plan with your family? If they ignore you, are you going to ignore them? What type of punishment does your mom do to you?

 **Adora:** I don’t have my car or cellphone. But I can still watch TV, I still have my laptop, and that’s bout it. Other than the feeling that I’m being shunned, that’s about it. 

**Catra:** Does your mom hit you or threaten you?

 **Adora:** No never. She might raise her voice but that’s it. 

**Catra:** did you ever tell her about Sue and how she treated you?

 **Adora:** Not much. I know it upsets her so I never talk to it with her. I used to see a therapist, but I stopped going. I thought by telling my mom I didn’t need one anymore it would make me come off as less autistic. 

**Catra:** I still have to see one. State orders. Your lucky you don’t need to talk about it with anyone. I’ve had to tell two therapists and two other doctors about what Sue did to me. 

**Adora:** What did she do? Besides all the stuff when we were little?

 **Catra:** She pushed me into a glass table and it shattered and messed up my back bad. Sue and I had to lie and say it was an accident. If we didn’t then I would have gone to training school and Sue would have gone to jail, and Sue still had other kids at the house after Lonnie got adopted.

 **Adora:** So that’s when you got emancipated. 

**Catra:** Yep. 

**Adora:** Do you miss her?

 **Catra:** Sue? In some sort of weird way. Kind of….. She was the only thing I ever had that was close to a mother was her. Even though she was awful to me, I want to be able to go to her when I’m accomplished and tell her off. 

**Adora:** Would that make you feel better?

 **Catra:** Not really, it would just feel good to look her dead in her face and tell her that she sucks.

 **Adora:** Did she ever talk about me when I moved?

 **Catra:** Yeah, she said you got adopted because you were a cuter kid and we were all too ugly to get adopted. If I ever asked about you, she would try and call your mom, and Sue said Angella didn’t want us to hang out because you were moving forward in a _better direction._ Whatever the hell that means?

 **Adora:** What? My mom said Sue would not let us hang out because she was mad at my mom. 

**Catra:** Well Sue told me your mom was against us being friends due to me being Hispanic.

 **Adora:** My mom never wanted us to be apart. At least that’s what she always told me.

 **Catra:** Well, you know Sue is a liar. Maybe your mom is telling the truth. I only remember meeting your mom once when I was 8 and all she did was talk to Sue. I never knew what they talked about, but I guess your mom and she didn’t get along enough for us to stay in contact.

 **Adora:** It wasn’t fair for us. 

**Catra:** Yeah but that’s just what they can do. They’re the adults, not us. 

**Adora:** I’m so upset with my mom. I want to make her understand why I’m angry, but I know she won't handle it. I’m so sick of being the problem child. I can’t wait for college, but I’m afraid she won't even be happy if I go into college. I overheard her saying to my aunt that I have a trust fund and if she invests her money right, _I won’t ever need to work_. I do not want that. I don’t want to live with my parents for the rest of my life like I’m disabled. Even disabled people can live on their own, but my mom has no hope for me.

 **Catra:** Then prove her wrong. Get a job and show her you don’t need her. C’mon we both were raised under a tyrannical foster mother, you remember how Sue used shunning as a method of punishment. We had sneak food when she refused to feed us and we were there for each other when the other kids shouldn’t play with us. Sue shunned me from age 14-16 and I had to get a job, work under the table to make money for clothes and food. If you want to stick it to your mom and not look like a problem child, then you need to liberate yourself from her. 

**Adora:** I never had a job before. Only volunteer work. I wouldn’t know where to start.

 **Catra:** I’ll help you. I’m here for you, just like before. 

**Adora:** Yeah, just like before….

I read all I could. Every bit of me fought against my judgment to open up her bedroom door and set her straight. Tell her she was wrong to think the way she did, and she shouldn’t be taking advice from Catra. A girl who thought to sleep in a storage center was a suitable place to live. No! I fought it off. I can’t even tell Micha or anyone what I did. No one would side with me if they found I out read through all her texts and Facebook messages, I also looked at her search history and THAT will need to be a discussion for another day, but for now, I’m stuck sitting in my office. I want to cry and hold my precious girl close to me and let her know how much I love her and want what best for her, but now I’m the bad guy getting pushed out by a girl in Walmart sneakers and a bad attitude.

I gave her space for the rest of the night. Popping back and forth off her phone to see what else she and Catra were talking about. Feeling terrible. My daughter feels like she’s hit a pit of disappearing and she’s going to try and prove her independence to me by distancing herself from me, and she made fun of m cooking with _Catra, the little miss “I can cook you anything you want and better than your mom can”_. I can’t believe I used our vacation budget on this kid. No—Wait I take that back; it was a good thing. Despite being a punk, Catra is not a bad girl. If I didn’t know any better, I would say their messages seemed a little flirty towards the end, but even if Adora did like Catra she wouldn’t tell me. 

I huff and sit on my bed until Micah comes down to tell us dinner was done. I thought he was cooking, but instead, he went off to McDonald's. A smile comes over me as he plates a fish fillet and fries and hands it to me saying “I told them to make it with love”

I see Adora. She thanked her father for dinner and sat down and ignored everyone. She must be taking Catra’s garbage advice to it’s every garbage word. Micah doesn’t let this deflect from his dinner night and still makes the girls laugh with some story about when he was in college and as a dare hid in a McDonald's trash can to see how long she could go without getting noticed. I remember this story all too well as I was the one who he called when he got kicked out and I needed to drive him back to our apartment with him being covered in ketchup and soda. 

Once dinner was over Adora made her way back to her room. It wasn’t long before I heard the notifications going off on Adora’s phone. She and Adora started to talk again and I read as they started their digital conversation.

**Adora:** Dad brought McDonald's home for dinner. 

**Catra:** Cool, I just had dinner with Scorpia’s moms. It wasn’t bad, I was super nervous. Scorpia still isn’t home yet, so I had them all to myself. Her moms are super nice, I’m just afraid of screwing things up with them.

 **Adora:** How would you do that? I thought they like you.

 **Catra:** They do, and so does Scorpia. Scorpia likes me a lot and I don’t know what to do when she tells me I like her, and I don’t like her back like that. 

**Adora:** As long as you don’t laugh at her and call her a “little sister” I think she’ll be fine. It’s not like you used her to get help with scholarship essays or used her for homework help. 

**Catra:** This Mermista girl sounds like a real piece of work.

 **Adora:** Oh, you could tell I was talking about her? Yeah, she was something. She and my sister were always super flirty with people to get what they want. Mermista would hug me and tell me I looked cute and how smart I was and how I should tutor her. And by tutoring, she meant to make me do her homework while she just flatters me on how nice I am. 

**Catra:** Wow, and your sister is still friends with her after she played with your emotions like that? I cut ties with all my friends that were mean to Lonnie. Even though I regret it in hindsight, I still stand by not letting people get away with treating others badly.

 **Adora:** The only good thing that came out of it all is that I’m ahead of all my classmates for school stuff and I know most of the answers to questions already.

 **Catra:** That’s good. Did you talk to your mom at dinner?

 **Adora:** No, but she kept looking at me. Like, she wanted to say something but didn’t. 

**Catra:** That’s annoying.

 **Adora:** At least she didn’t cook. If she cooked, I would have been making faces because her food sucks.

 **Catra:** LOL. Funny! British people like weird food. They eat jellied eels and blood pudding, and who the hell eats beans for breakfast!

 **Adora:** It’s not so bad, LOL. But some of the food she eats is gross. She tied to get me to eat liver once. But mom has a weird sensitive stomach and doesn’t like to eat salty and fatty foods. Dad said it’s because she has a sensitive stomach.

 **Catra:** Next time she gives you hell throw salt at her

 **Adora:** She’s a jerk! Not a witch! LOL

 **Catra:** LOL could have fooled me.

 **Adora:** LOL

I huff in offense and say out loud “Great, make fun of me now, why don’t you”

Micah comes into the office and I hide the phone away. he came in to talk to me about Glimmer and her crazy spending habits on campus and that we need to talk with her about her budgeting herself more. Sending a kid off to college was not cheap. Despite our salaries, we’re still just like any other family in America; and placing a kid in higher learning is expensive.

After we talk, I head up to Adora’s bedroom. She is sitting at her desk. When she sees me, she jumps a little at my presence. She must still be talking to Catra. I had her phone and say. “Your off restriction. Can we talk?”

She looks at her computer screen and then back at me as she nods. 

I sit on her bed and she turns her computer chair over to look at me. I know everything I want to say. I want to tell her I love her, and everything is okay. I want to tell her she’s a good daughter and I’m proud of her. I know so much more of her thoughts that I shouldn’t rightfully know about. This is bad. I know she’s hurt, and I don’t want her taking Catra’s horrible loner advice.

I ask her “Are you okay?” I give her my sad mom look.

She remains unmoved and shrugs and says “I’m fine”

I ask her again “Are you sure?”

She stood her ground “I’m fine, mom”

I stood up to hug her. She returned the embrace and I tell her “You can come to me for anything. Even if you think I don’t want to hear it. I love you; I just want you to be okay, I’m sorry you felt upset earlier”

She moved away from me “It’s fine. Everything is fine mom”

I know that’s a lie. But I can’t do anything about it. I give up and I leave. Only time will tell if things will be better soon. For now, I have to hold my tongue and be supportive in silence.


	11. Sick Day

Adora keeps my mind off of everything. My first night at my new house, I had the dream-filled memories of kissing Adora. The thought of her being my secret girlfriend had me hiding my face into my pillow squealing like a moron. I have a place to stay and I have Adora. Now, the only thing to worry about was how I was going to fuck it all up. The sudden high I had collapsed. The idea of dating Adora made me happy but the fear of Angella finding out and making Adora break up with me. I have a talent for fucking up my life. Anything good that ever happens to me always ends in pain, from Lonnie to Miles, school, shelter, name it! I’ve screwed it up somehow. 

  
  


It would be Lonnie all over again. After Adora left the foster home. Lonnie became my new best friend. She got adopted at thirteen and her mother did the opposite of what Angella did. She let me come over and hang out all the time. I was so blind and desperate for Lonnie to stay my friend I never saw how bad Lonnie really was outside Sue’s care. She stole, got into fights, and was meaner than me on any day. But I was louder and faster and I was pathetically needy so I took the fall for her on some of her worst days. Her mother grew tired of me being around. So, I got ghosted over the summer of my freshman year of high school. I found out later that she got caught breaking into a house over the summer and got sent to behavior school. Out of spite, I sent her adoptive mother a really bitter and mean email through Facebook on how bad Lonnie really was and I screenshotted texts between Lonnie and me about how bad she really was. 

  
  
  
  


_ Dear Leslie,  _

_ You thought I was a bad influence on your precious Lonnie? Well, let me spill the teat you’ve needed to hear for about two years….. _

  
  
  
  
  


That was a big mistake. Her mom blocked me off of Facebook and so did Lonnie after she got out of training school. I haven’t heard from her or Rogelio and Kyle since then. A year later. The fight with Sue happened. She got mad about me wanting to enroll in beauty school. She said it was a waste of time and I didn’t have the talent for it. Then led to a heated argument that turned aggressive. She pushed me into a glass table and I fell backward. It shattered and messed me up. We lied about it being an accident after my old social worker explained we would face worse charges if we didn’t. After that, we parted ways. I got sent to a group home for a few weeks and got into a bunch of fights. The only good thing my old social worker did for me got me to be emancipated. The worst thing he did was place me in Miles halfway house.

  
  


Af first it was all great. The other girls were nice to me at first when Miles took a liking to me more than them, it all went downhill. It started when he asked me about my back scars. He asked if he could help. He rubbed scar cream on my back a few times, he bought me a drawing tablet afterward, then a few more back rubs later and his hands went elsewhere. A new laptop later and I was his favorite.  _ I was _ until I didn’t want to do something. After that, I was the outcast. Then the snitch. 

  
  


After that, I was stuck in the women’s shelter. Some of the girls at school found out about me living in a shelter, some figured out I was one of the girls that lived with Miles, and that’s when I started getting into fights a lot more.

  
  


Fast forward to now and I’m here. At any moment I can ruin this and it can all go away. I have to try and make sure I don’t do any of that. What do I even say to Cheryl and Mandy when I see them in the morning?

  
  
  


\--

  
  


Sunday Morning

  
  


\--

  
  
  
  


I keep quiet in my new room. Glad to have my own bathroom. I didn’t want to go up to the first floor and bother them. I heard them talking upstairs. I really couldn’t hear what they were saying. It was almost nine in the morning and I was getting hungry. I ate two of the granola bars I had leftover from my backpack. I had to go to beauty school today and Adora isn’t around due to needing to go to church. Most likely so her mom can make her repent for being gay or some bullshit like that.

  
  


I jump when a knock comes to my door and someone opens it and calls down “Carlotta, sweetie?”  _ It’s Cheryl _ “Breakfast is ready” 

I look down at my granola bar and sigh. I really don’t want to go upstairs. I call back “Coming,”

  
  


I walk up the stairs to see Mandy, Scorpia, and Cheryl in fluffy house robes, all three of them had on slippers, and they all looked cozy,  _ and here my ghetto ass shows up in a cropped tank top, shorts, and bare feet.  _

  
  


I nervously waved to them “hey” and crossed my arms in discomfort. I’m way too underdressed to see them. I didn’t care how I dressed at Sue’s house or Miles. In front of these three, I feel so improper. 

  
  


_ Their all staring. They must think I dress like this for attention. I sleep warm. I always wear shorts to bed. _

  
  


Scorpia wasn’t helping my discomfort. Her eyes were totally locked on my boobs like a radar. She started talking to me about how happy she was that I was living here. 

  
  


I gave her a smile. I’m so uncomfortable. 

  
  


Mandy spoke up “Catra, honey, would you like some pancakes?”

  
  


I nod and look down “Yes please”

Cheryl then asked me “You okay, honey, you look upset?”

  
  


_ Please! Stop focusing on me! _

  
  


I just shrug “I-I’m okay”  _ I need a lie  _ “I just don’t feel well”

  
  


Maybe that is good enough. 

  
  


Mandy then commented “It’s probably from when you slept in that storage unit Friday night. You might be coming down with a cold”

  
  


I feel myself sink a little at that. The way she blew up my spot reminded me of Sue. 

  
  


Cheryl cleared her throat as a warning to Mandy and placed a plate of pancakes down at the table. I felt my stomach lurch a little and instantly felt nauseous and the anxiety hit me. I wanted so badly to leave the kitchen. 

  
  


Breakfast was awkward. Painfully awkward. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and Scorpia kept asking me stuff. For her, this is the best thing ever. It was like a permanent sleepover. But here I am. Wishing to not be bothered. I didn’t even think about her feelings. I can’t just tell her Adora and I are starting to date. If I do, she could get upset, she could convince her moms to reconsider me staying here. When I saw Cheryl get up and take away Mandy’s plate I nervously asked to be excused. They both looked at me like I was crazy for asking permission. My face burned with embarrassment. I just wanted to be polite. When I got up I knocked the chair back and it fell to the floor. I whimpered out an apology before rushing back to my new room.

  
  


I dashed to my bed. I couldn’t even have a normal breakfast with them. 

  
  


My only outlet of escape was Adora messaging me. We talked for a bit over Facebook. Adora has been someone I can finally get things off my mind with. I don’t mean that in a conventional way, but more in a way where she is so engrossed in her  _ little white girl problems  _ that she doesn’t constantly do what everyone else does.  _ “Are you okay?” “Do you wanna talk about it?” “Are you sure you’re fine?” “How does this make you feel? _ ” I hate all those questions! No one really cares! Hanging out with Adora is kind of like hanging out with Entrapta. Except, Entrapta is like Adora cranked up a thousand on the autistic spectrum. Entrapta never asked me about Sue, Miles, or Lonnie. The only thing she got out of me from that relationship was the ability to hack into things. Just like Adora, she helped me without knowing it. Thinking about her makes not thinking about me much easier. 

  
  


I felt stressed being at the house. I showered. I got ready for the day and left, telling Scorpia I was going to go to Walmart to get groceries and stuff. She asked if I was feeling alright from this morning and I lied and told her I was fine. 

  
  


Truth is, I feel sick now. My throat hurts and I started coughing a lot in the shower. I don’t feel well, but I need to get stuff and I don’t want to burden anyone. Away from them, I felt relieved. I made it a point to come home late. I came home quietly and hid downstairs.

  
  
  


\--

  
  


Monday

  
  


\--

  
  
  


Bertha wants to come by the house and meet Mandy and Cheryl. This is now even more awkward. I had to ask them if it was okay for her to come over. Cheryl had to be at the restaurant so I had to have this meeting with Bertha and her supervisor with Mandy.  _ Great. _

  
  


Bertha sat down with her supervisor; some guy named Walter. The two sat down at the kitchen table with me and Mandy. The guy was cool. He inspected my room and told Mandy that “You have a beautiful home” which made Mandy smile. The two of them talked for a bit in private as Bertha and I sat in silence. She kept giving me a dirty look; to which I gave her one right back. 

  
  


When they came back to the living room Walter stated “We conclude this is a safe home environment for Carlotta,” he looked at me and asked, “How do you feel about all of this young lady?”

  
  


I stuttered “I’m fine. Everything is great”

  
  


Mandy frowned at me.

  
  


He questioned “Have you her from the school you applied for? Congratulations on applying for Brightmoon, by the way”

  
  


I felt my face heat up. I’m so uncomfortable right now. 

I answered “I haven’t heard about acceptance yet, but⎻⎻”

  
  


I was cut off by Bertha “She still needs to be enrolled by the end of the week in school, if she doesn't get accepted, then she needs to do the GED course”

  
  


Walter looks at her and nods “Yes, but let us stay focused and positive for Carlotta, okay?”

  
  


After they leave I head back downstairs to avoid everyone until beauty school. I got a few texts from Adora while she is at school. She’s avoiding her mom and I can’t blame her. I thought Adora got lucky and got adopted by super loving and supportive parents, but even nice looking families have issues and Adora seems to be their issue. 

  
  


I’ve been coughing and sneezing all morning. I take a quick nap before beauty school and it made everything worse.

  
  
  


A few hours later.

  
  


I feel worse. I lay in bed coughing and wheezing. I shoot my teacher an email telling her I’m too sick to come into school tonight. I try to call the walk-in clinic closest to hear so I can take a bus to see a doctor. Turns out state medical covers very little. A visit to the walk-in clinic costs $120 dollars. That’s half of all my money I had ripping off rich college kids. I choose not to go. I mutter to myself  _ Guess I’ll die _ as I try to go back to sleep. 

  
  


“Catra? Honey? Are you okay?” 

  
  


I can barely hear the voice of who was calling for me. I remembered when I used to get sick at Sue’s house. She would check on me and make sure I got better. She didn't want me hanging around the house; so she would dote on us to get better faster. It was the only time she was nice to us and it was the only time she called me  _ honey _ . 

  
  


I felt a hand touched my face and ask again “Are you okay?”

I cough as I groggily reply “Sue? My throat hurts, my chest…. Everything hurts….. The co-pay is too expensive to see a doctor” i coughed a few times as I heard her shush me and tell me that she would take care of me. I drift off to sleep again. But barely. I can hear faint talking and then another person came down into my room. An oddly familiar accent asked Sue if I was drinking enough fluids and when was the last time I was up. 

  
  


I felt Sue elevate my head and place more pillows under me. She commented on how badly I was burning up as the other person made me drink some bitter-tasting medicine. She told me to drink tea and made me drink some. It tasted good and she placed a fan near me so I wouldn't get so hot while I slept. 

  
  


I drifted off to sleep again. I wasn’t entirely sure what just happened, but I felt safe and relaxed. 

  
  
  
  


\--

  
  
  
  


I’m beyond grateful Angella offered to make a house call. I had only intended on asking her what would be the best medicine for Catra; since no one in our family ever gets this sick and I have no clue what other medical conditions Catra has and I didn't want to get her even sicker. 

  
  


Angella took off her gloves and placed them in the trash. She calmly stated “Her fever came on fast. She’s probably been sick from going from the women’s center to shelter, to storage unit…. It might be flu. What she needs is lots of rest and plenty of fluids. Make sure she sleeps with her head elevated so she doesn't get more congested. I have a few friends in the pharmacy; I can run by with them what is the best medication that her State medical insurance covers”

  
  


I nodded. I still feel worried about her. I didn’t tell Angella she kept calling me Sue instead of Mandy. The poor baby must have been hallucinating. 

  
  


Angella turns to me and signs “Now, I must make some phone calls to get that situated” with a small eye roll she remarks “My daughter is very cross with me right now, due to not allowing her to come over here to help with Catra, how has your daughter taken to Carlotta, Madeline?” 

  
  


The way she says my name makes me shiver a bit. Thankfully I’m happily married, or else I might have taken her politeness as flirting. Not that I wouldn’t mind that, this is Angella Brighton we are talking about after all.

  
  


I shake my head and feel myself go a little red as I reply “Scorpia hasn't got to spend much time with her…… you know how Catra is…. She needs a little space right now. But, the girls are good friends”

  
  


Angella smiled at me and looked down at her phone “I’m glad, Catra needs good influences around her,” she showed her her phone screen “This is the medicine she needs, I phoned into a pharmacy friend who can get the off-brand to be covered under Catra’s medical. She’ll be sick for the next few days, but this medicine will help her recover faster” She showed me some of what the medicine was. She then suggested that I make sure Catra drinks lots of hot tea and water. 

  
  


Before we could talk further I heard my wife come in to greet Angella. We spoke for a bit all together before Angella left. 

  
  


Now with all three of us home. We took shifts in making sure Catra was okay. Cheryl made her tea and brought her dinner for her. I was able to get her medicine for her. 

  
  


Once I got home my wife informed me that Catra seemed uneasy. She seemed to be emotionally withdrawn or in deep thought. Which is worrying. Last time she went into deep thought she did something stupid, like, hang out with the trouble makers in Horde Grove and almost get arrested, get into a fight with a guy on the city bus, threaten to beat a girl up after making fun of her for living in a shelter, or actually beating the crap out of a girl for making fun of her eyes. The girl gets emotional, then the girl lashes out. We don’t deserve aggression, but I feel she might have been hit by depression. We didn’t give her an option when she came to live here, we told her she was moving in and I wasn’t so nice about it. I know she must have felt embarrassed by the whole thing. Aside from being caught homeless, we all saw her cry; which for someone who grew up to be so hardened and jaded by emotions, it must make her feel like she is hitting an all-time low. 

  
  
  
  


I peak downstairs to hear some faint crying. My response is to check on her. As I do I think about what I can say to make her feel better and how to comfort her. 

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” I ask. 

  
  


She continues to sob into her pillow. Still crying, she lifts her head up only slightly from her pillow to cry out “I shouldn’t be this nice to me! I can’t do anything to make up for this!” and she fell back into her pillow to cry. 

I tried to set her up as I hushed her “No, no sweetheart, no. You deserve to be loved, We love you, we want to make sure you're okay”

She sniffed and turned to face me whatever I said in my few moments with her finally made her walls come down. Despite crying uncontrollably she let herself fall into my arms and let me comfort her. She cried and cried and coughed until she fell back asleep. I stayed with her for a bit while she got comfortable again. The only thing I could think about was how badly I wanted to adopt this child.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. A Mother worries

The need to be needed can feel like an un-winnable battle. Desperately trying to be the best at a craft no one genuinely appreciates until it is a desperate need of one being. Fighting to be the best doctor, saving lives in the emergency room, coming to fight against all odds of making a name when I was once only a noteworthy professional because of my university or my accent. My gender was a small drawback outside the white coat, as a spouse, I wanted to be a perfectionist at that too. My greatest good ever given to me was never my intellect, but more of my luck to have found a soulmate to see through it all with me. Becoming professional career people and buying all the luxuries we were never blessed with before our accumulated wealth made the experience so much more enjoyable. But I struggled in my career more then he did. A surgeon who specializes in reconstructive surgery made me a top applicant for all hospitals, but I was widely known for being unpleasant, over-demanding, and unfriendly to colleagues due to wanting only the best for my patients and even they did not find me to be the most likable doctor to have. Being coined as _“The British Bitch”_ in the first town we lived in once we decided to not stay in New York. Moving to another condo we made do at another place. My habits resurfaced and instead of me changing for the better, the hospital administrators bent-the-knee for me and allowed me to remain in my ways. This didn’t give me many options for friends. After the birth of Glimmer, I was still unable to connect with my child in a way I wanted to. She refused to latch on to me while breastfeeding and grew fussy with me in my arms. As if that didn’t hurt my feelings enough, Micah and I were unhappy in our marriage after the baby. He took on his stepfather’s failing business and through us into debt. Along with that, his sister was a newly graduated Psychologists living with us and inviting her cheap slut hookups into our home while she looked for work and a place to stay. Not paying rent and going with the flow I was left alone to be the bad guy in my homelife and with work-life too.

In me, more of my defeat as years went on a failure to keep friendships with other people. Except for my husband’s friends and their wives being polite to me, I had no one to talk to. Former Society sisters from college didn’t keep in contact with me, nor did old friends from England. Word of the hot-headed surgeon traveled fast, and no one wanted to deal with me. The only person I could call a friend was Juliet; and Castaspella slept with her—making me cut all ties with her, and my cousin Helena Huntara from England moved over to Midwest of the United States and turned into a massive woman in size and a criminal record, so I chose not to keep close with her. 

I longed for another child as Glimmer grew older. The daddy’s girl couldn’t share her love with two parents. By the time she was four we tried—DAILY—to make another baby. We received the bad news when she was about six that my ability to conceive was low and Micah’s sperm count was too low for another shot at a baby. 

Defeated we looked into adoption. An expensive and long process. 

We found a foster home 10-miles away from our town with adoptable young children in foster care. We instantly fell in love with an adorable blonde five-year-old. 

THREE YEARS AND ALMOST 50,000 DOLLARS LATER!!!!

We finally had our little precious Adora home. So many delays and questionable foster care and medical care lead her original caregiver to presume she was mildly deaf or could have suffered brain damage from being in a car accident while she was two, but a final diagnosis confirmed she was high functioning autistic. Meaning she will live a normal and healthy life and can go to college and be a career woman in her future if she chooses to. 

Her adjustment was not easy. She had such odd quirks that we later learned were from her heavy abuse in foster care made it hard for her to transition into our family. We didn’t do our part as a unit to understand her needs. She was clingy and craved human contact and companionship and I instead took into account research on autism as a sign to give her minimal contact as it was assumed autistics didn’t care for hugs. In reality, I was destroying her emotionally. 

She was always prepared for abuse. She didn’t communicate well with us. Never telling us her needs, when she was hungry, tired, sick, or if she needed the bathroom. She would sob softly to herself instead which caused Glimmer to grow unfond of her. 

All while I tried to make it clear to family and friend that she was autistic and needed to be handled with care. She ended feeling more isolated. All I wanted to do was have _my daughter_. Glimmer was Micah’s girl 100% of the way, while I wanted Adora to be the mommy’s girl; that was a fail. 

She was anxious and fearful of me. Her small errors in wardrobe, etiquette, and other social skills made her brace for abuse. Stuttering and tearfully apologizing. In many instances, she would hide in her closet or place herself in time-out in her room to cry. One time she spilled juice and fearfully asked “How any hits am I going to get?” Implying I was going to strike her for her mistake. 

It was clear she suffered trauma. She had a severe meltdown when she saw Micah walking around with his belt in his hand. Fearing she was going to get beat she fell to the floor and sobbed. Another case was when she wet the bed after having a night terror and cried, she vomited from fear of us beating her or sending her to a group home. 

All disturbing and terrifying to have a child come up with such things. 

Then the park incident happened; where Glimmer made Adora wear a helmet to the playground to protect her “autism”

Causing Adora to have a sensory overload at the park. 

I did not handle that well.

Her fear and depression through her into such a pit of despair she attempted suicide.

An eight-year-old…. With severe mental and emotional trauma found out about suicide from a group of kids at school and assumed the solution to her pain was to cut her arms and attempt to hang herself with a sheet from her closet. 

Just remembering that day brings me to tears every time. Finding her, passed out from lack of oxygen, Glimmer crying and me trying to resuscitate her as the ambulance came. 

It was horrifying. 

I had nightmares about it for almost two years after that.

The adjustment to our lives was made for the better. 

Adora tried to talk more. I enrolled her in speech classes and a social skills tutor would come to the house every week to check on her. 

Adora started to smile more. After school when she finished her homework she would want to come to my office and play with me. We used to do puzzles and read together. Something I always wanted to do with Glimmer, but she did not care for that. We would watch kid documentaries and she would draw with me. I made it a point to have a scheduled playtime with her; as recommended by our therapist. She liked her time with me more it seemed. She did like spending time with her big sister too, Glimmer just bossed her around and Micah’s humor usually never sat well with Adora. 

In my office, I had a photo album saved to my desktop. Scrolling through the photos I remembered how cute she was as a little kid. A beautiful young lady now and these photos are evidence that she was always a beautiful child. Several old photos of her in her room. Some of her pony dolls, one of my favorite pictures of her was when I bought pajamas with little pink pigs on them. She looked adorable snuggled on her bed next to her stuffed animals. Glimmer would not let me pick out her clothes past age six, and Adora would wear anything I suggested. To this day I do most of her clothes shopping. I never have to worry about her wearing things too short or tight since she was not a fussy dresser, so I have been able to dress her how I want her, and it gave us this sort of bonding. 

She was open to me. She was the one in my family that was closest to me. She told me about how well she did in school or her sports games. She was my perfect little angel. Never talking back and telling me everything I wanted to hear. 

That is all fine and good for me, but after this Mermista debacle, she has been miserable. Yes, Glimmer had an underage drinking party when we were out of town. There was spin the bottle and for whatever reason, our oldest daughter decided to have Adora join in was a good idea. Her anxiety must have been so high as she knew all the consequences were close to coming. Damn that Mermista for kissing her and messing with her emotions. My poor baby had her first heartbreak and now it has led to all of this. 

She’s distant. Moody and will do everything she can to stay away from me. All my attempts to support her have failed. Whatever is running through her mind can’t be good. She had such a bad falling out with all her friends and Glimmer, so I can’t press her sister for any details. 

After I went to go check on Catra over at Cheryl and Mandy’s; she and Glimmer got into an argument and Micah had to break it up. Something about Glimmer asking if Catra was her girlfriend and Adora became defensive and yelled at her about assuming stuff. Granted, I’m sure Glimmer antagonized her a little bit more then what Micah had seen, but he yelled at both of them and Adora took it the worst. Now, in her bedroom crying, Micah feeling terrible, and Glimmer being an _~~asshole~~_ —defending her words are all left uneasy.

Our family dynamic is different from Adora’s mood. She’s angrier, uneasy, and I can tell her anxiety is destroying her. 

Catra’s influence is no help in the matter. I would normally be charmed by a young aspiring entrepreneur who is independent and responsible—but having some punk in ripped jeans, selling stolen Vodka out of a backpack and sleeping in a storage unit overnight—does not indicate to me she’s the smartest girl, just a stubborn one.

Scrolling through all old photos I kept seeing all the times Adora seemed happy and kept thinking to myself if all the memories I’m having are true? Did I make Adora a happy kid? Or was a just prolonging the fact she doesn’t feel like she belongs? Her hurtful words to Catra paints a sinister picture. 

According to Adora, she feels like an outcast. 

What if this whole time she was just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear? It would be the same as when she was eight and she would plea “I’ll say what you want me to say” “Tell me what you want me to say”

I ran my hands through my hair in stress. If this whole time Adora was hurting and I did not see it; I have failed, her again. She stopped seeing her therapist after age twelve. Maybe that was a bad time to stop? She was very embarrassed when going through puberty; She had acne when she was younger and wore her hairstyle up and with her bangs covering her forehead to hide the blemishes, she was an early bloomer and hated bras at first, she hated the ways boys stared at her and when she got her period—she got it on a trip to the beach and spent 30-minutes in the bathroom crying about how she didn’t want to be a “big girl” yet. _That’s one way to break a parent’s heart. To make it all worse, I wasn’t even there! Micah was and he joked about sharks getting her!_

She used to cling a little more to Castaspella for a short time. But, when I implied, I’d rather her spend more time with me, she stopped being so clingy afterward. If I’ve been selfish with her this whole time, I need to make it right. 

I hear my office door open. Hoping to see one of my children—I see my husband coming in with two ice cream cones and he slumps down in his office chair adjacent to mine. He sighs loudly and gives me a sad look before licking one of his ice cream cones.

I raise a brow “Need I ask why two ice creams?”

He sighed again “I made one for Adora and she said she didn’t want it, along with some other things, I’m too sad to think right now”

He said ungracefully licking away at his frozen treats. 

I asked him “What did she say to you to get you so down?”

He replied with a saddened voice “She told me to go check on my real daughter”

I spun around in my chair and angrily replied “Come again?! She said what to you?”

He clarified “I told her I was sorry for yelling and that she needs to cool off a little before snapping at Glimmer. She then went on about how I only defend Glimmer when she’s upset, and I hadn’t spoken to her since the whole coming out thing. I tried to explain that I didn’t want to joke and upset her and then she said _“It’s sad that someone who went to Yalel and is a defense lawyer can’t think of how to talk to his adoptive daughter—maybe you should only stick to spending time with your real daughter—you don’t have any problems there”_

My mouth drops a little at that. Such hurtful words. Uncharacteristically of her to be so mean, our Adora is a sweetheart. For her to hit Micah with such verbal daggers sounds insane. 

I ask, “What else did she say?”

He shrugged and looked down “Nothing, she just went back to her computer”

I sighed and turned back to my computer. On the screen was still a photo of Adora on Christmas morning sitting next to all her presents in her purple Twilight Sparkle footed pajamas. It was the cutest thing seeing her so happy to get all those toys and she was so grateful to us. I turned back to Micah and pointed to this screen “Whatever happened to this happy girl? What happened to our baby?”

He doesn’t miss a second as he responds “Whatever it is it needs to stop. Nothing I do works. Not talking or talking makes her hate us even more”

Micah sulked “She’s never been made at me like this before. When this girl gets mad; she sure knows how to hit where it hurts. Now I’m stressing out, thinking back on if I’ve ever played favorites with them? Have I?” he looked over to me with a worried expression “I spend equal time with both my girls, right?”

I’ve been feeling so dreadful lately I play into his worries with some brutal honesty and sigh as I respond “You and Glimmah have a close relationship…. When they were little Glimmah did not like to share with you, so any time you two bonded it was with Glimmah nearby, as soon as Glimmah started taking her high school law classes, you both spent a lot more time with yourselves than anyone else…. I’m sure Adora might feel left out by not being invited to Sonic or Starbucks with the two of you when you were doing case report practices”

I saw he felt guilty. Micah is not a man to be biased or play favorites. In truth, Adora does love her father, she just doesn’t find his humor all that funny and mistakes it often for him being mean. I know that must devastate him. “She’s a sensitive girl, she just needs a little space and she’ll—” before I could finish that empty platitude, our oldest daughter walks Into our office with a sandwich on a plate and sighs in defeat as she makes her way over to Micah’s side of the office. 

We both look at her confusedly “Baby what’s wrong?” Micah asks.

Glimmer lets out a huff as she places the sandwich down on his desk and explains “Well, I was trying to be nice to Adora and apologize, but instead I got an ear full of how I’m an instigating, attention-grabbing jerk with a know-it-all-attitude”

_ALL THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE!_

She then comments “Oh, and she said if I dye my hair purple, I will look like a troll doll”

Micah and I both laugh at that. _That is also true._

She sighs and asks us “What happened to her? The Mermista thing can’t be the only thing. What else have you done to her?” she asked looking at me. As if I’m the one who purposely hurts people’s feelings.

Micah tries to defend me “Don’t blame mom for this, Angie is being supportive” I smile at him for his defense. He then shrugs and comments “The rainbow autism puzzle piece banner might have been the worst way to show support, but I guess if it seems nice in your head, can we blame you?”

I narrow my glare to the two of them. 

I ask, “So you don’t agree with me on that being a good idea?”

Glimmer answers for him “You know Adora gets mad when you bring up the “A” word”

Micah just nods at that. 

I sit up defensively “I’ve been far more supportive then you two have been!”

Before either of them could retort a faint yet angry reply came from the other side of the door.

_“STOP TALKING CRAP ABOUT ME!”_

We all gave each other a fearful look. We had all been exposed to talking about Adora behind a closed door—and she heard all of it!

I peaked out to talk to her. “Honey we weren’t saying anything bad, we’re all just worried about you!” I try to come over and give her an embrace. She denied me that and started to storm off “I’m going out!” she declared. I could tell by the tremble in her voice she was fighting back tears.

I have moved aside from my husband’s attempt at comfort. Micah tried to talk to her in the garage, but to no avail, as he returned shortly after with a defeated look. He commented “She took her bike; she wants to be alone right now”

Gimmer came to her father’s side to comfort him. _Not me for some reason. I guess I am alone in what happens with me and Adora._

In defeat, I leave her alone. In my youth, I remember going off on my moped to escape my insufferable mother as a teen—except my mother was horrible. _Still is._

After that, we all dispersed again. Glimmer returning to her room while Micah thankfully stayed by my side to comfort me. As much as I should give him a hard time for eating two ice cream cones for dinner, I can’t. I’m too upset My baby girl is angry and sad and I can’t fix it. 

Have I ever fixed it? Looking back, I don’t think I ever resolved a major issue for her. Glimmer and her trio of friends looked after Adora in school from elementary to last year, Castaspella was her go-to person for issues she felt uncertain to talk to me about. Except for a few random outings, we don’t have much to bond for or have in common. I sing her praises all the time and I am supportive of all her sporting events, but that isn’t something we both mutually share. I sulk for the remainder of the night. 

After dinner, I received a lovely text from Cheryl.

**_Cheryl (6:40 pm):_** _Your daughter is such a sweetie, she can over to check on Catra and brought her McDonalds. It was so thoughtful._

I smile at that. If Catra makes Adora happy right now I can’t complain. 

When Adora finally got home I sent her a text.

I want to talk to her, try to figure out what I can do to help her. 

I send her:

****

**_Mom (8:55 pm)_** _I know your upset with me still. You have every right to be angry. I know all my efforts to connect with you have failed. I hate seeing you so upset and everything I’ve tried to do was to make you feel better. What am I doing wrong? If I’m doing something hurtful Adora I need to know so I can stop._

Almost fifteen minutes later for a response.

**_The Baby (9:10 pm)_** _We can talk later this week. Love you, goodnight._

“At least she still loves me,” I remark and show Micah my phone. He chuckles at that and sits down on the bed. “That’s good,” he replies as he pats the side of the bed close to him “So, you’re going to wait for her to come to you?”

I nod “Yes, I won't push, I won't pry, I will be patient,” I say as I sit next to him.

He smirks as he placed his arm around me and asked, “How hard do you think that will for you?”

I deadpan “Extremely hard, but I will do it, for Adora,”

He kisses my cheek. Before we head off to bed, I decide to go to my office one more time. As I walk down the hall, I see the bathroom door is closed and the shower is running. It’s a little late for anyone to be showering this late. I see Adora’s room is empty. 

_Why would she need to shower at this time of night?_


	13. Recovering Sad Babies

Mandy was bringing me to my therapy today. I’m finally free from my cold. But, I still have barely seen Adora. Except for when she brought me McDonald’s yesterday. I wish I could see her more. But I don’t want to come off as too clingy, and I don’t want to get her stupid family involved. She told me all about how Glimmer was picking on her and her dad sided with Glimmer over her, so Micah lost all his cool points with me. Sue was the kind of person to play favorites, so I hate people like that. 

  
  


Looking over at Mandy I feel sorta….. Better? About life? I can’t describe it. I never opened up to her before about a lot of things, some things I don’t Scorpia about, but never her moms’. I always saw them as Scorpia’s parents and as my bosses. This whole living arrangement thing had me worried at first, I wasn’t sure if this was good for them. I was scared they would stop liking me after one night, instead, they just want to be supportive. Not pushy, not in my face, just cool. 

  
  


Even Scorpia has seemed cool with me just being downstairs. She hasn’t been clingy or in my face all the time either, partly due to my being sick, but I think she might be over me. Aside from all of that. I think things are just okay now. Mandy asks me stuff, like, how am I and how I’m feeling and I just feel uncomfortable to answer. Today, she took me to Dunkin Donuts and after therapy, she’ll take me to get groceries for my little kitchen downstairs. 

  
  
  


I feel okay. Like everything is okay

  
  
  


**Adora’s point of View**

  
  
  


_ Everything is not okay! Everything sucks! _

  
  


My stupid dad wants to hang out with me all day. I wanted to go to the mall and get an outfit on my own, but now stupid dad has to tag along. I wanted to get a cute outfit for when I see Catra next, but now I have him up my butt demanding to be around. All because of that stupid  _ “Go to your real daughter” _ comment. Dad has been hovering over me like I’m Glimmer. Now the guy who married the most annoying British person ever! Is now my shadow for this entire mall trip. My only saving grace is my texts to Catra. Even in the living room where I’m trying to just text in peace, mom is hovering over me for no reason, other than to be nosey.

  
  


**Me(11:43 am):** Dumb dad wants to hang out with me all day. (Eyeroll emoji)

**Catra(11:44 am):** That sucks. I’m off to therapy. 

**Me(11:45 am):** Is that a good thing? Is your therapist nice?

**Catra(11:45 am):** For me, yeah. This new lady I have is nicer to me than the other therapists, I’ve had. She isn’t rude or talks down to me. I feel a lot better 

**Me(11:46 am)** That’s good. My aunt is a therapist. I talk to her sometimes. I think I might start talking to her again soon because I can’t deal with my daily right now.

**Catra(11:47 am)** I can understand that. I’ll be away from my phone for an hour, so I’ll talk to you later.

**Me(11:48 am)** : Bye (Kissey face)

**Catra(11:48 am)** : (Heart emoji and kisses face)

  
  


I blush a little at the heart and kissing emoji. I didn’t realize I was smiling until I looked over to see a mom staring at me with a sort of smile.

  
  


I instantly frown and put my phone away. 

  
  


She mentions “Are you happy you’ll spend time with your father today?”

  
  


I coldly reply “No”

  
  


She moves closer to me on the couch and in a soft and serious voice she tells me “Your father is hurt by your statement from earlier”

  
  


I’m in no mood to be guilted. “I don’t care,” I state. Catra told me to be more assertive with my parents so I don’t get walked over, so I decide to tell mom to her face what I feel “You can’t expect me to feel bad over dad playing favorites. Glimmer was purposely trying to pick on me over Catra”

Mom tried to place her arm over me and I moved farther away from her. She reminded “I don’t agree with Glimmer teasing you, but I don’t think she was trying to upset you”

  
  


I sat up and glared at her “Then what was she trying to do?”

  
  


Mom just raised a brow and offered “Uh, a question? She’s your older sister and she wants to know what is going on in your life. It’s only reasonable that she wishes to open up a dialog with you in regards to your friendships”

  
  


The way mom spoke made me feel like she was talking down to me like I’m some sort of idiot. I ask her. “So, she’s going to ask me if every girl I talk to is someone I date? That’s a little unfair. You don’t ask her if every boy she talks to she likes”

  
  


Mom crossed her arms and replied “No, I do. A simple question, regardless if it may be slightly embarrassing doesn’t deserve the reaction you gave her”

  
  


I snapped “What reaction!?”

  
  


She snapped back “Swearing at her! You didn’t need to curse at your sister and say that awful and inappropriate comment!”

  
  


It all came back to me. When Glimmer asked if I was dating Catra I got so defensive I told her to fuck off. After that, she tried to tell me something else and I only replied with saying she sucks dick, and that’s when dad heard me and yelled.

  
  


I frowned remembering what I did. Mom sat up to hug me and I pushed her away again. I hated being wrong. It is just my autism that makes me always so fucking useless. Am I just doomed to be overly emotional? What if Catra sees this side of me and realizes she doesn’t want to date me anymore. We haven’t even made it to the first date yet!!!

  
  


I felt the tears form in my eyes and mom took this opportunity to steal a hug from me.  _ I didn’t want a hug mom!!!!! _

I think she wanted to pull off the I’m always here for your speech, but dad came down.

  
  


Overly happy he asked, “Ready, kiddo?”

  
  


I shot him a look and all he did was beam at me. I guess I’m not getting out of this. 

  
  
  


**Catra’s point of view**

  
  
  


I was sick and missed last week’s session with Casta, but I was able to get her up to speed on everything. For starters, I was homeless, my social worker tried to get me into a GED program instead of high school. Then Scorpia’s moms found out and sort of unofficially adopted me, I did a lot of crying, now I have my room, and…… a girlfriend.

  
  


Once I said Adora’s name, Casta wanted more details. 

  
  


She beamed at me as I felt my face flush as I finally got to brag about Adora. 

  
  


She raised a brow and somewhat teased me and asked “So, tell me more about  _ your Adora _ , with all your good news, the second you mentioned a girlfriend you finally started to  _ smile _ ”

  
  


I was going to beat the red. I tried to brush it off “I smiled about school. I got accepted into that fancy school, thanks to some anonymous donor”

  
  


Casta grinned at me “Yes, but,” she giggled a little “All your joy is thanks to Adora”

  
  


She keeps saying her name in a teasing way. I hide my face in one of her fancy couch pillows as she laughs little at me. I feel embarrassed. I get easily flustered, despite being a bad bitch that can take anyone down. I’m still sort of shy. 

  
  


She stops “Okay, no more teasing” she promises “Now, girl talk. I want to know about her, where did you meet? How did you two start dating?”

  
  


She was smiling at me and it felt inviting. 

  
  


I want to brag about Adora, but, it’s also kind of embarrassing to just gush over someone like this. I wish I can be excited and tell people I have a girlfriend, but I can’t ruin things for Adora. If her mom finds out; it could ruin her.

  
  


I sigh as I explain “She was one of the girls I grew up in foster care with….. I haven't seen her in nine years since she left. She was supposed to do sports at my school, but some shit went down and that didn't work. I got to talk to her and me and she just clicked. Like, we never were apart. She's really pretty and she likes me, so…. We started dating,” I say with a shrug. 

  
  


She smiles more and asks “Any dates yet?”

  
  


I shook my head “No, the second we started to date I got sick. Plus, we have to be low-key. Her mom is sort of a homophone. She got outed by some bitch friend to her sister. She told the girl she liked her and the fucking bitch told everyone and her mom is a doctor, so, of course, she’s right about everything and she blamed Adora being gay on autism” I felt angry. Not for me, but Adora. 

  
  


Casta frowned and asked, “So, you met her mom?”

  
  


I nodded “Yeah, she sucks. She doesn't like me. She kicked me out of their house after I and Adora hung out for the first time in nine years…. She didn't even let me get a ride home at night. She just wanted me gone, and then when I slept over, she accused me and Adora of being too touchy-feely, which is bullshit, since Adora and I weren't even dating, and she and I aren’t like that. I ain't a hoe”

  
  


A smile tugged at her face when I said that. 

  
  


She then asked “So your relationship secret? How long do you think you can keep it away from her family?”

I shrugged “I don’t know, Adora isn’t as independent as I am. I don’t want to ruin anything for her. Maybe her mom will come around, but I don’t want to be the reason Adora gets sent to a straight camp or gets disowned. Her adoptive parents are loaded. The dad is a lawyer, Angella is a doctor, They have a big ass house and, like, five cars, so I can’t come in and ruin that”

  
  


Casta frowned again “Sweetie, don’t you think, a dialogue should be in place for you and her. Shouldn’t you encourage her to talk to her mother?”

  
  


I aggressively shake my head “No, I tried to get my old best friend Lonnie to not shoplift and all she did was blame me for her stealing, and when I lived with Miles and I tried to get the other girls to help get rid of the cameras with me, and they all turned on me. I can’t do that to Adora. Her ass wouldn't be able to handle straight camp. Have you seen those documentaries?”

  
  


She looked confused and asked, “Why are you so sure her family would do that to her?”

  
  


I shrugged “Her family goes to church. I don’t know how Religious they are, but in Kingdom Hall, we were forced to shun people who were gay. Even people who acted sorta gay got shunned. I think she’s catholic, and Sue Weaver always hated Catholics, she said they were evil, so…..”

  
  


Casta looked sad when I said that. 

  
  


The only smart response I could offer was; “Look, I finally have good news, I’m not afraid of where I live, I’m not going hungry anymore, and I get to go to a school, a good school. I’ll graduate from beauty school soon, and I can make money, buy a car, and… I have a girlfriend that is nice to me and likes me. I feel like if I mess that up with her, all that other stuff won’t feel as good anymore”

  
  


I felt my throat go dry as I said to her “I never get to feel happy…… right now, I finally feel that I am….. I feel like I’m going to be okay”

  
  


The session ended a little after that. Once I left, I felt a little sad. I’m super happy about a lot of things, but I know they can all be taken from me. I don’t want to be alone, hurt, or scared anymore. I just need to be happier. 

  
  


The second I left her office I got to see the British pain in the ass herself: Angella. Her fake ass was talking to Mandy like they are besties or something and I instantly feel anger. One of the nicest people in the world is talking to her!

  
  


I give her a dirty look as I stand next to Mandy and cross my arms. 

  
  


Mandy looks at me and places her arm around me and pulls in me closer. “Catra’s settling in at home, and she’s feeling better, right sweetie?”

  
  


I nod to her. Still not trying to talk much to Angella. 

  
  


Angella takes the hint, but still gives the petty reply “Yes, I heard from Adora that you were unwell, now that your feeling better you should come over again for dinner”

  
  


What kind of fake ass olive branch is this?

  
  


Before I can say anything Mandy offers “Oh, you, Micah, and Adora should come to our house this week, we can all have a dinner date”

  
  


My face betrayed me and goes red at that idea and Angella and her British  _ know it all ass _ can tell. She gives me a curt look and replies “I think the girls would love that”

  
  


Great,

  
  
  


**Adora’s point of view**

  
  
  


Dad has a way of not giving space. I told him I wanted to go clothes shopping and he decided to tag along. I’m trying to go to Express without my dad questioning my clothing choice. He questioned me on why I wasn't going to my usual clothes shops, which are more athletic gear type stores.

“You know there is a sports gear store in this mall, right?” he asked trying to make conversation. I glared at him. “I know dad,” I say. 

  
  


I walk closer to Express to look for date type clothes. I’ve only been to this store a few times. Mom wears these types of clothes, along with the Banana Republic and Abercrombie & Fitch for fashionable clothes. Mom usually picks out my outfits for me. It has always been our thing. I sucked at picking out my outfits when I was a kid. So, mom would pick them out for me, or make a color chart for me. So I knew what matched and what colors were in season to wear. 

  
  


But I don’t need her. I can pick out my outfit. I’m seventeen, not a baby. I can handle picking out a cute top and maybe a pair of pants on my own. 

  
  


I shoot dad a look as I declare “I’d rather go in by myself. thanks”

  
  
  


He looks disappointed and sits on a bed outside the store next to the pretzel booth. 

  
  


I walk in by myself and I get greeted by one of the ladies working and I walk in nervously to look at clothes. At that moment all my confidence drains as I lose all sense of fashion by all the manikin in skinny jeans. I keep looking around. Some displays had dresses, jeans, flowy tops, crop tops, and a few manikins had blazers. I didn't know where to start or what to look for. What are date clothes? What’s in season? Should I wear a dress? Is that too much? How many jean cuts are there? I feel like I’m just walking in circles. I notice one of the ladies look at me and I start to feel self-conscious. I want to ask for help, but I feel too embarrassed to ask. What would I say? Hi, I’m almost an adult and I can’t shop for clothes myself. I would die! My mom did me no favors. I wish she were here. If she was he would have just picked out everything for me. Then make me try it on so she could inspect its modesty and if I can move comfortably in them. 

  
  


She had done this for me for years. It was our thing. Glimmer would always give mommy a hard time about clothes shopping. I would just wear whatever mom told me. She wouldn't force me into anything I hated. I wasn't too picky. I loved seeing her look so happy at me. She would always beam over me, tell me I looked adorable, or pretty. It was something I now really, really missed.

  
  


Then it hit me. 

  
  


I still need mom…..

  
  


I feel like crying. I have no idea what I’m doing. I walk out of the store. Feeling internally humiliated. I want to just go home and cry. The one thing I wanted to do on my own, I couldn’t do. 

  
  


How will I tell Catra about this? Would she laugh at me? She’s so much more independent than me, I bet she doesn't have any self-doubt or insecurities. What kind of girl my age can’t shop for an outfit?!

  
  


No wonder Mermista only saw me as a little sister. Who would want to date me? 

  
  


Now I feel like crying. 

  
  


I sit next to dad. 

  
  


Before he can ask anything I demand “Take me home, please”

  
  


He blinks and looks confused “Baby what’s wrong?”

  
  


“Nothing” I lie “I just couldn’t find anything. I want to go home now”

  
  


He frowns “Sweetie, we can try another store”

  
  


I shake my head. Now I’m doing everything I can to not cry “No, please. Take me home” I plead. 

  
  


He agrees and offers me a pretzel and a smoothie before leaving the mall. 

Daddy doesn't ask me anything else. I sit in the back and try to keep my cool. I felt overwhelmed by being alone in that store. I can’t tell if I would have felt worse if daddy wasn’t there. I wish I had mommy right now.

  
  
  


I feel so small and childish to call them mommy and daddy mentally still. I stopped calling them that when I was fourteen. I feel so weak. 

  
  
  
  


**Castaspella’s point of view**

  
  


I’m a professional and I am here to keep my composure. Today I found out my niece as a secret girlfriend, but I also have her mother; Angie having a complete emotional mom meltdown in front of me. Not a real meltdown, but she’s worried and needs to vent. The harsh sting of Adora shutting her out has gotten to her. Worse than when Glimmer started to shut her out. While her and Glimmer banter and Glimmer texts me and tells me her mom is annoying and overbearing; Adora was always the daughter that just wanted to make her mother proud. Adora had always put the happiness of others over her own. When she started to achieve emotional breakthroughs with communication and confronting her past; Angella caused a major backtrack in that by expressing to Adora how much she felt therapy was not helping her and that she only should need to come to Angella for guidance. 

  
  


Now, As much as I wanted to scream and hear that several years ago, I know where Angella is coming from. The adoption transition was not easy for them. For years Angella has been racked with guilt over Adora’s suicide attempt. Terrified in the theory that Adora has not fully bonded with her. She wanted to take more control in Adora’s feelings by asking Adora to come to her with problems that did not exactly mean she wanted her therapy to end. Adora made that call on her own as a preteen and Angella allowed it. I wanted Micah it was not a good idea, but they wanted Adora to have the freedom to make that decision on her own. 

  
  


The issue that it has created is that now, Adora only tells her mom half of what is bothering her, another half to Gimmer, and nothing to her father. Meaning the ability to have anonymity when talking about issues is now gone. So Adora has no one to lean on when things get tough. 

  
  


This will lead to two possible problems; one is that she will be way too open in her relationships and get taken advantage of, or two she will turn to substance abuse. It’s dark, but I have consulted many young adults, and some before age eighteen have turned to internet relationships and have become victims of grooming, or become addicted to medication and drugs at an early age. 

  
  


I’m not saying those are inedible for Adora, but with the autistic spectrum, even the high functioning cases, an emotional release is needed, in the form of sex, drugs, or anything in between to ease the senses and give a feeling of normalcy. 

  
  
  


Angella was here rambling on about Adora. As much I disagree with Angie, I do feel for her. She is a good mom and wife, despite being a pain in the ass. She does have a lot of heart and is just as sensitive as anyone else. 

  
  


She shows me a photo of her and Adora from when she was nine and cries “This little girl grew up and now she hates me, absolutely hates me,” she sits on my couch. I offer her a plushy bunny to hold and she comedically swats it away “My little Adora, has been going through so much. First, she was devastated with Glimmer going to college, then the whole Mermista thing happened, then lacrosse got canceled for the season due to low sign-ups. And anything and everything sets her off. I’m at a loss! I know she is hurting and she won't come to anyone with her problems. She has snapped at all of us, cursed at me and Glimmer, and even hurt Micah’s feelings!”

  
  


I nodded “Hmm, yes, Micah text me Turns out shopping didn't go well”

  
  


Angella looked deflated with that information. Possibly due to me knowing before her. 

  
  


“What happened?” 

  
  


I frowned as I took out my phone to paraphrase “Adora went into Express by herself and walked out ten minutes later ready to cry and asking to go home” 

  
  


Angella extended her arms out and exclaimed “Clothes shopping is our thing!”

I wanted to laugh at her being so dramatic. I can see her pain. She desperately wants to be involved in her daughter's lives. I always figured this was because of her relationship with her mother being so strained. 

  
  


She asked me. Seriously and pleading “What should I do?”

  
  


The best advice I could give her is to “When you see her, just hug her. Don’t pry, tell her you to love her”

  
  
  


Angella’s point of view later that night

  
  
  


I’m home. So is Adora and Micah, along with a bucket of fried chicken. I don’t have the energy to scold him so I just kiss him on the cheek before heading to Adora’s bedroom. I knock firstly, she allows me entrance. I see her laying on her bed. Pretending to get ready for bed. I offer her an embrace and she accepts. Within seconds of our hug, her body starts to shake. I look down and see she is sobbing. I hold her close as we sit on her bed together. She doesn't say much. Just whimpers and sobs. I don’t pry. She lets me comfort her. 

  
  
  
  
  



	14. Secret Date Preparation

Adora’s point of view 

  
  


Yesterday was the worst wake up call of my life. Getting stressed and unable to pick out date clothes had me realize how much mom does for me. I’m seventeen and she does my shopping, cooks for me, does my laundry, and all I do in return is just some chores. Back when I lived with Sue I made my peanut butter sandwiches, my laundry, and I did a lot more chores. Heck, she even let me use hedge clippers when I would help with the yard work. Now, I’m just a giant baby who can’t do anything. I’m so socially inept now. Maybe I should have stayed in therapy instead of going to mom for my problems. Now that she is my problem, I can’t turn to anyone. Glimmer and dad are on her side. They think I’m over-emotional and being difficult. It’s so unfair before anyone found out I was gay, everything was fine. 

  
  


It was the worst day of my life. 

  
  


Remembering it makes me want to hide. 

  
  


I go into my sensory room; which is my closet. I try not to use it for that anymore. Mom and dad made my walk-in closet a sensory room with blankets, LED lights, stress relief toys, and stuff. They did all this for me when I went to the hospital, and when I had a therapist come to the house, she would check on me. 

  
  


I decide to go into it for the first time in years. Just sitting in there, surrounded by blankets; looking around I saw some old poy figures from when I was a kid, and also I played with these as a preteen. 

  
  


I just looked up at the stupid banner mom had Perfuma’s mom make. An illustration of Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony and in between them, it had my name. Mom made my autism a big part of her world. All her friends knew, her co-workers knew. Anything good I ever did was always underlined with my autism. 

  
  


_ Honor roll! Such an accomplishment! She studies so hard with her autism! _

  
  


_ Sweetie, you did so well at the amusement park today, you didn’t seem sensory overloaded at all with all the noise. _

_ Our Adora is a star player for soccer, she might even become their first autistic captain in high school. _

  
  


_ If you feel overstimulated, let us know and we can leave the hayride, okay, love? _

  
  


All the things mom ever said made me feel like she was proud, but only as proud as a mother with an autistic child can be. She over hypes me up to friends and family. She doesn’t do that with Glimmer. Maybe because Glimmer is so perfect that she doesn’t need an introduction. Mom never brings up any of the Glimmer faults. She never introduces her as the boy crazy midget that groans and growls and waste all her allowances on clothes and designer bullshit. I never bother mom and dad for the stuff Glimmer does. Maybe I should just be a brat like her, then maybe won’t think it’s autism-related. No…. that won’t work. Autism has links to behavioral issues, so she could. 

  
  
  


I stay in my old sensory closest. I put a weighted blanket over and me and think. I need to be more independent. I need help and I usually go through mom and I need to stop doing that. How am I going to go through college if I need my  _ mommy _ for every little thing? 

  
  


I jump when I hear at a knock at my closet door. 

  
  


“Adora?” I hear mom’s voice. I feel my face burn with embarrassment. She caught me in the sensory closet, like when I was a little kid. 

  
  


I sit up, still feeling embarrassed, and opened my closet door. I couldn’t make eye contact with her. It felt so awful to be found like this. 

She offered “Honey, we have some good news tonight, we are going out to Mandy and Cheryl’s house. You can hang out with Catra and see her new room”

  
  


Now my face goes redder for a different reason. I’ve already seen Catra’s new room and kissed her in it. 

  
  


I nod and keep looking over to my desk or bed. Anything but mom’s gaze. I know she’s giving me that sad look like she wants me to tell her what’s wrong and stuff. 

She pulls me into another hug and says. “I’ll be in my office for a bit, if you want anything, come down and talk to me” 

  
  


With that. She leaves. 

  
  


I feel like crying. I have to ask her. Tell her. Yell at her for.

  
  


_ Why do you treat me so differently from Glimmer? Are you ashamed of my autism? Are you ashamed of me? Did I ruin your friendship with Hanna? Are you mad that I’m gay!? Do you love me or do you feel obligated to me since you adopted me? Are you happy with me? Are you going to e upset when I finally tell you about me and Catra? Can I ever tell you about me and Catra? _

  
  


All these thoughts swirled in my head and now I have an unexpected date with Catra. How come she didn’t text me about it? Was she trying to uprise me?

  
  
  
  


Catra’s point of view

  
  
  


_ Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I left my phone on the charger! Now I’m work freaking out _ . Dinner tonight! In front of two families! It’s so stressful. Mandy said Angella, Micah, and Adora are coming over tonight around five and it’s noon. I need t pick out an outfit, set my room up nice so it looks good for the company to see it and maybe make a dessert for Adora and me.

  
  


I’m so nervous. I got barely a heads up about this stupid thing. I thought when adults do that stupid  _ we should have dinner sometime _ thing they never meant it!

  
  


I rushed around the restaurant kitchen. Thinking about what should I do. Maybe Mandy will let me borrow one of her foldable tables and two chairs, so maybe Adora and I can have dinner downstairs in my room, instead of upstairs. I don’t want to be around Adora’s parents. 

  
  


I walk to the front of the cafe to see Mandy in the middle of taking someone’s order, so I go back into the kitchen and think. 

  
  


_ Dinner. How do I look cool for Adora at dinner? _

  
  


All my nerves started to make my stomach flutter. I thought kissing her first would make things easier, but now, tonight being technically a date, and also an incognito relationship is nerve-wracking. 

  
  


Cheryl and Scorpia came into the kitchen to talk to me. 

  
  


Cheryl beamed as she informed me “You and Adora get to have a dinner party downstairs in your room while we parents, have dinner upstairs! Isn’t that great”

  
  


I blink in surprise. That went way easier then I thought. 

  
  


I looked over to Scorpia. Looking almost sad at this news. 

  
  


What’s going on with her?

  
  


Cheryl said she had to go out and left us alone. Scorpia made her way over to the back and grabbed a black apron. And walked right past me, almost if she was mad or something?

  
  


I asked her “Hey, are you looking forward to tonight?” 

  
  


She shot me, an almost cold look and replied with “Yeah, I’m going out with friends tonight, so I’m good. Have fun with Adora” she says before leaving to the front. 

  
  


_ Wait? Does Scorpia not like Adora? Scorpia likes everyone! _

  
  


The moms’ leave to get the house ready for dinner. Scorpia and I were now alone after the lunch rush. The empty cafe made things awkward. Usually, I hang out upfront with her until a customer comes and then I leave to the back. Today is different she isn’t talking to me and she looks mad. 

  
  


I peak out to see her pretending to stock napkins in the dispensers for the fourth time in one hour and I ask “Um, is everything okay?”

  
  


She snaps back “Yeah, everything out here is great, you might want to check your work station. We close up soon”

  
  


I walked to the front to ask her “Seriously what is your deal?”

  
  


She looks at me. Almost sad. She sighs and just says “I’m fine, I just got to work through some stuff. I’m fine”

  
  


I wasn’t sure what she meant by that so I asked her “Is it something I did?”

  
  


She shook her head “No, you didn’t do anything wrong”

  
  


She looks away from me and shrugs “If you like someone or not, it’s not your fault…. “

My heart sinks as I watch Scorpia fight back tears as she wipes down the counter. 

  
  


She must have figured out I like Adora, or maybe after spending all this time together, she realized I didn’t like her like that. It hurt me. I never like seeing her sad. 

  
  


She turned to me and said with a sad smile “Everything is okay, I promise” she added in “Maybe you should make a special dessert for you and Adora”

  
  


_ Does she know about Adora? How?  _

  
  


  
  
  
  


**Adora’s point of view**

  
  


I keep looking at what I should wear for tonight. I keep looking. Blue jeans and a red sweatshirt? Are these jeans good with this top? I go to a uniformed private school. I never need to worry about finding daily outfits. Whatever I wear on the weekends doesn't really matter, because I don’t do much. Even when I went out with Glimmer and her friends, Glimmer would tell me what I should wear. Now I don't have that. I don't want to embarrass myself and Catra hasn't answered my texts all day! 

  
  


Mom knocks on my door. She asks me “We’re leaving in twenty-minutes” 

  
  


I frown and look at her. I feel so pathetic, but now I’m desperate. I want her help so much.

  
  


I turn away and nod. 

  
  


She comes in and suggests “You would look super cute if you wore the white top” pointing to a flowing long sleeve I only wore to church twice “And the pair of your dark blue skinny jeans, with your white flats” She smiled at me “Just a thought,” before leaving my room. 

  
  


Did she know I needed help? Why was she being subtle? She is never subtle.

  
  


I take her advice and wear what she suggests. I do look nice. I feel like I look okay, I want to look extra nice for Extra, so I keep my hair down and I put on my white diamond earrings. I come downstairs and mom comments on how pretty I look. 

  
  


I feel good. Like when we used to go shopping together. 

  
  
  


**Catra’s point of View**

  
  


Scorpia insists she’s fine. I try to hug her before she leaves and she just tells me not to feel bad and to have a good time tonight. I feel guilty. I know why she is upset. We hardly have had time to hang out since I came to live with them. I did mention Adora a few times, so she might have assumed I liked her. I knew her feelings were hurt. In her mind, I should like her, but I did try to make myself like Scorpia, but I just don’t see her like that. She's pretty and nice and perfect in all those ways, I just never saw her as the one for me.

  
  


At home, I showered and got ready quickly, picked out a cute outfit. Red crop top and dark brown dress pants. Sorta fancy, I was home so I didn't care about shoes, plus I just painted my toes, so I knew my feet looked good. 

  
  


I had a foldable card table downstairs and I placed a white tablecloth on it, that barely fit, with a glass cup acting as a vase for the flowers I took from the neighbor's yard. I also had made her and I a heart-shaped brownie for dessert. It looked cute down here, very romantic. 

  
  


I felt extra nervous. I hope Angella and Micah don’t come down here and see my room. I can lie I did this to look like a restaurant. 

  
  


All my nerves came back the second Cherly called down to me “Catra, the Brighton’s are here,”

  
  


Now nervous, red-faced, and excited. 

  
  


I’m finally going to have my date with Adora. In secret. 


	15. Dinner Date-ish

**Scorpia’s point of view**

  
  
  


_ I’m here at the movies. Watching something I don’t like. Just so I can lie to my parents and pretend it was my friends who picked the movie. So now Michael Bay is ruining something else from the ’80s and I’m going to take some selfies and send it to my mom so she doesn’t call bullshit on my excuse not to watch the love of my life ogle over another girl. _

  
  


When I first met Catra it was electrifying, then terrifying, then something unexplained. I just felt so drawn to her. 

  
  


Since the first thing, she said to me; that rainy day on Tuesday back three years ago. The power to the cafe just went off. She walked in and asked in the coolest way  _ “Do you have a bathroom for customers?”  _ and then walked down the hall. In all the power issues we had this really rude group of teenagers from Peekabloom bothering me and my moms’ giving us a hard time since we couldn’t accept credit cards due to the power being out. 

  
  


While talking to someone at the front counter I saw someone swipe our tip cup. Catra saw them too and chased after them and knocked them to the ground. 

  
  


Then after my moms’ went to make sure she didn’t get arrested it was different. I only saw her for a few minutes, but after that, I couldn’t stop thinking of her. She asked for a job and my parents accepted. Soon, I had a cool friend. 

  
  


Then I fell in love. 

  
  


Now, When I think this will be the time she falls for me. Some blonde haired ghost from her past shows up, and Catra could care less about me now. 

  
  
  


I just finished watching a crappy movie and pretended to take a selfie with a bunch of people with their backs turned so it looked like I was a part of their group. 

  
  


I think I’ll hang out at Sonic or Dairy Queen until I think dinner is over. I’m halfway out of the movie theater parking lot when I catch the familiar face of a girl who was a senior last year in Brightmoon. She had the hood of her car open in a parking spot. I stop over to ask her if she needs help. The second I ask, she looks at me with some type of look. I can’t figure out what it is, but she’s smiling a lot more than she was five seconds ago. 

  
  


**Catra’s point of View**

  
  


So……

  
  


I love Many and Cherly, they’re great. Now with Brighton's over I can tell they are nervous. It is nerve-racking to have the top surgeon and top family court lawyer in your home. Micah and Angella act cool, but the two sandwich cafe shop owners can still get starstruck by others. Especially them. 

Cheryl gave them the home tour while she suggested for me to bring Adora downstairs so we could hang out. 

I could have sworn she gave some mutual look to Angella. 

  
  


_ Does everyone know I like Adora or something!? How? I keep my cool every time I’m around her.  _

  
  


Now that the adults are out of range. I finally take Adora downstairs. Her hand brushes against mine as we stop at the end of the stairs. Nervously I point over to where I set our spot for dinner.

  
  


“Look, I got us all set up for our date,” I say. More awkwardly than I would have wanted. I feel nervous. I keep feeling nervous. I think she’s nervous too. She looks up at the ceiling with caution before she speaks “Cool. I like this'' she slowly makes her way over to where we will sit. I clumsily rushed over to the chair to pull it out for her. Trying to be chivalrous. She gave me a shy smile and sat down. I walked over to my tiny fridge and asked her “Do you want a soda? I got some juice too if you like that instead”

  
  


Adora just shrugged “Soda, is cool”

  
  


I offer her a can of coca-cola and we sit in awkward silence for five seconds before she asks “So...uh, you got accepted into Brightmoon Academy. When is your first day?”

  
  


I tell her “It’s was supposed to be this Monday, but Mandy let them know I had to wait until I felt better, I start next Monday”

  
  


Adora took a sip of soda and asked “Are you nervous”

  
  


I answer her honestly “Very,”

  
  


She looked concerned. Placing her hand over mine she asked “What have you worried about?”

  
  


I sigh “Everything. I sort of disappeared off social media. Old friends from Horde Grove thought I went to juvenile hall, someone made up a rumor I got pregnant, someone else started telling people I was in a gang…..” I looked to see what Adora’s facial reaction was. For some reason it is blank. She didn’t really seem to register what was my concern. I added “I was a jerk at my old school. I didn’t want to look weak, so I got into fights, bullied people who were mean to others, and made a name for myself as the badass of Horde Grove”

  
  


Adora smiled.

  
  


I frowned at explained “I deleted all my stuff online about how I used to be, just so no one at this new school gets the vibe that I’m some type of hoodrat or degenerate” I hesitate to explain further “Your school…. Has a lot of rich kids, uppity kids, most kids that either, I’ve been mean to at one point, or have been mean to me. I don’t think I ever messed with any kids from Brightmoon before, but, I don’t want to be known for being  _ Catra the bad bitch of Horde Grove _ , anymore”

  
  


Adora raised an eyebrow. “Was that what people called you in your old school?”

  
  


I shrugged and looked away “Well, sorta…. I got called killer-cat or hoodrat-cat, Only you call me Catra, and since people know about that nickname Scorpia and her parents call me it now too”

  
  


Adora stood up and asked, “Why don’t we change up your social media profiles I can help” 

  
  


This will actually work really well for me. I could use white girls’ touch when it comes to my Facebook and Instagram. Adora has the most vanilla social media feeds. She’s one of those Dunkin Donuts drinking, Ugg boots in the fall wearing, No bad new retweeting, good girls. 

  
  


I think this will work.

  
  


She sits on my bed. I sit next to her and take out my laptop. I delete my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and start fresh. I get the chance to show off some of my old pictures. Cute pictures. She made me have the whitest, nerdiest Facebook ever. All my photos were cosmetology related. Nothing about my past of shoplifting, beating people up, or cursing. 

  
  


After that, we watched some cat videos, laughed, and laid down on my bed. After a few seconds of more awkward silence, she asked “So are you feeling 100% better?”

  
  


I responded slowly “Yeah…”

  
  


She lifted up her head from my shoulder “Like, enough to kiss me? We haven’t kissed since our first kiss, so--If you want? We could…..” she trailed off. Her face was starting to get a little pinker around her cheeks and she looked away from me. Being this cute and shy should be illegal. 

  
  


My heart is racing and I keep my cool and reply with a sly smile “I’m down for kissing” I feel like I should have said something different, but it worked and she licked her lips and moved closer to me. Both of us, laying on my lips puckered to each other. 

  
  


Flutters in my stomach and my face feels red all over again. Something about kissing her feels more special. I’ve kissed boys in the past and never felt anything. Her kiss means more than the past ones. She can’t kiss good, doesn’t even try any tongue. She just nervously puckers her lips and presses them to mine. I want more. I move my lips apart lightly. She follows after. We aren’t making out, but at least we aren’t kissing each other like the way people kiss their parents.

  
  


“Girls! We’re coming down with dinner” Cherly calls down. I hear the footsteps of two people and I assume it’s her and Mandy. Adora and I get up to move apart from each other. I don’t care if mandy or Cherly see my room. It’s clean. Some of my art is hung up on the walls, and the table in the middle of the room might be tacky, with its flower vase of stolen flowers, battery-powered tea candles, and heart-shaped brownie on my kitchenette counter. They won’t judge me for being dorky. I don’t think they know about me and Adora. It’s not like-

  
  


“Oh, it’s lovely down here” I heard the British accent and sound of heels clicking down the stairs.

  
  


Oh no! Not Angella!

  
  


Cheryl proudly remarks “We had just finished remodeling a week before Catra moved in,” both parents were downstairs and looking straight at us.

  
  


We were totally busted. Sitting on my bed, Adora looking mega guilty, and my room looked obviously date proofed. 

  
  


Cheryl spared me no embarrassment by commenting “Oh, Catra how cute, you made it look so fancy down here” she said as she and Angella placed our plates down on the table. I saw both of them give each other, that weird mom looks like they both thought the same thing. Angella gave Adora some kind of smile, making my girlfriend turn redder and look down at her lap. Angella is such a jerk! She’s one of those moms that doesn’t care about embarrassing her daughter in the end way. At least Cheryl and Mandy do it on accident and aren’t jerks about it. Both parents leave and we start to eat. 

  
  


Mandy wanted to show off how good of a cook she is. So she made chicken Piccata with homemade pasta. 

  
  


A few bites in and Adora asked “Do you think they suspect anything?”

  
  


I keep looking down and reply “I don’t think so if anything they assume we’re just super friendly”

  
  


Adora smiled at me “Yeah, your right. They probably think we’re just really close friends” 

  
  
  


**Angella’s point of view**

  
  
  


Our dinner was lovely. It felt refreshing to have people enjoy my company. Micah can make friends with anyone, so he gets along with Madeline about cars and building garage shelves for good for them. Cheryl and I got to talking about our children. We started to show off baby pictures of our girls through our phones and she asked about how I felt with Glimmer in college in a different state. I told her it was not easy and still isn’t. Even with her home on the weekends, I still worry about her being over two-hours away. I joked about how I know she’s okay since she spends so much money  _ “If she goes a morning with Jamba juice I will have reason to fear the worst” _

  
  


We laughed at that. She’s worried for her daughter Scorpia Which I didn’t know was the girl’s real name until tonight. For her, she worries about Scorpia and I confided that I worried for Adora. I felt we could have talked about more, but for now, we just left it off as concerned mother’s worried for our babies. 

  
  


Leaving was a little odd. I saw in the corner of my eye Adora and Catra hugging each other and then looking into each other’s eyes like they were about to kiss. Then once Catra saw me she instantly moved away. 

  
  


Odd, indeed. 

  
  


The drive home was quiet for the most part. Micah talked about how Mandy was a fan of the same football team he liked and how she wanted to turn her garage into a sports room.

  
  


Adora seemed extremely quiet. Probably in deep thought over wanting to snog Carlotta, but I didn’t want to pry. 

  
  


I can sense the two may be pining for each other, but most likely are nowhere near expressing their feelings. When that day comes, hopefully, Adora will come to me. 

**Catra’s point of view**

  
  
  


I offered to help with dishes. Scrubbing a pot in the sink; Cherly placed the rest of the glasses in the dishwasher as she asked me. “So……” she sounded teasingly. “Do you _ like _ Adora?”

  
  


I have no escape! I looked down into the sink to hopefully stall for an answer. She rubs her shoulder against mine. Looking WAY too happy for an answer. Without trying to give an attitude or sounding too embarrassed I just reply “I think you already figured out what the answer is”

  
  


She squealed happily and clapped her hands. Embracing me she called to Mandy “Catra likes Adora!”

  
  


I turn the sink off and try to escape her embrace and make a dash to my bedroom door. Mandy comes out of the living room and comments “Figured. That’s cute. Should we be on the lookout for you two hiding downstairs to kiss?”

  
  


Okay! Totally blushing right now!!!! I try to move away from Cheryl and the two both make the same “OHHHHHH!” sound. 

  
  


Busted.

  
  


I break away from Cheryl and Mandy blocks my way to the bedroom and asks “Is that what we should be worried about?” she was smiling way too much about this. I panic and look over to Cheryl. Her wife now asked, “Is it a crush or are you two dating?” 

  
  


I groan in embarrassment and whine “I don't know”

  
  


Both questioned, “You don't know?”

  
  


I growled in embarrassment. I stomped out of the kitchen. Both of them said “Aww” as I left the room in embarrassment. It is super obvious to them that I like Adora. They seem cool with it. I figured they would have wanted me to date Scorpia. Which also begs the question w _ here the hell has Scorpia been all night? _

  
  
  


**Scorpia’s point of View**

  
  
  


“Thanks again for jump-starting my car for me. I feel so embarrassed for leaving my lights on” the pretty blonde girl says as she sips her smoothie. I got lucky and was able to jump her car for her and she offered to buy me dinner. 

She looked at my jacket and asked “So, uh, you have a Brightmoon Academy letterman jacket. Are you a new Student? I went their all through high school”

  
  


I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly and commented “Uh, well I’ve gone to Brightmoon since Sophomore year, um, we actually have gone to school together since elementary, I’m only a grade under you”

  
  


Her eyes went wide as she covered her mouth “Oh I’m so sorry” she offered. I think she might have thought she offended me “I’m terrible with faces! I must have seen you a thousand times and never noticed” 

  
  


That sort of bothers me. At least I don't stick out. 

  
  


I tried to offer her some comfort to her mistake by reminding her “I usually never look like this outside of school, y’know, the makeup rules for Brightmoon is less is more, and I recently dyed my hair, so I don’t fault you for not recognizing me”

  
  


She then blurted out “Are you single?”

  
  


I felt myself feel a little cold as I slowly replied “Yes…..”

  
  
  
  


She then fidgeted with her hands before asking me “Um, I think we have chemistry, so maybe we can hang out?”

  
  


I beamed “uh, sure! Yes! Um, yeah, I work at my families restaurant Mondays through Thursday, but I have the weekends off”

  
  


She smiled at me “Sounds good. I usually always have Sunday off. Want to go for smoothies or something then?”

  
  


I blink ‘Uh, sure”

  
  


She smiles at me “Great” 

  
  


Then she gets up “See you later this week Scorpia”

  
  


I smile at her as she walks away 

  
  


Then it hits me.

  
  


We never exchanged numbers.


	16. Kisses and Cameras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No editing, sorry. Rushed it out.

**Glimmer’s point of View**

  
  
  


Perfuma sprawled over my head in a dream-like state. Her hands cover her face while she told me and Mermista the story of how some hot chick helped her with her car in the movie theater parking lot. This was the side of Perfuma we never get to see. She’s always the positive upbeat friend, always calm with a motherly voice of reason. Makes sense as she is going into counseling for her degree program, even with that she was never one to fall into a pile of mush over someone. We both jump a little when she moves her hands away from her face and lets them fall onto the bed and whines “And I never got her number!!!!!” as she turned to bury her head into a pillow to scream. Mermista and I looked at each other and held back a laugh, we gave mutual looks to one another as we laid next to her on each of her sides and asked for more details.

  
  


Mermsita asked, “So, did you at least get her name?”

  
  


I snorted.

  
  


Perfuma bashfully replied in a hushed tone “Scorpia,”

  
  


I blinked. I know that name. That’s the name of the daughter of my parents’ friends. I turned and informed “I know her, she’s in the same grade as Adora”

  
  


Perfuma frowned “I don’t remember her from school” she turned to me “Was I oblivious in high school? I thought I knew and talked to everyone”

  
  


Mermista comments “Well, you were super high all the time. Plus, that Scorpia girl had a major glow-up last year, and from what her FaceBook page has, she’s been changing her look a lot since last year”

  
  


Perfuma almost snapped her neck to face Mermista and ask “You have her on FaceBook!?”

  
  


Mermista smiled and took her phone out to show her. “Yeah, I think I went to a swimming camp with her in middle school. Look. The same girl right?”

I saw Perfuma get excited and ask Mermista if she knew anything else about her crush. She creepily stalked through Scorpia’s FaceBook page to see all her pictures. She commented on how she did change her look a lot. From haircut to hair dye to make-up to ear piercings, it made sense why Perfuma didn’t recognize her from school. 

  
  


Mermista then commented about one of the pictures with a disgusted groan “Ugh, she hangs out with the chick who overcharges us for booze?” 

  
  


I added “That’s Adora new friend”

  
  


She gives me the side-eye while Perfuma gasps and states “Oh, no. She’s such a negative person, she’s too mean for someone as sweet as Adora”

  
  


I reply with an eye roll “Tell me about it. Ever since Adora starting hanging out with her, she’s turned into such a jerk”

  
  
  


“How so?” Perfuma asks

  
  


I explain while sitting up on my bed “For starters, she never wants to hang out, She’s turned into a massive tattle tale on everything I do, and the worst thing so far is she told me to suck a dick when I asked her if she and Catra were dating”

  
  


Both gasps.

  
  


“No way,” Mermista said “She doesn’t swear”

  
  


I retort “Oh, she does now. Thanks to that new friend of hers” 

  
  
  


My mom came in and interrupted us. She was being her overly fake and posh self as she greeted my friends “Hello girls, Glimma? a word when you get a chance”

  
  


It’s not much of a question, as a demand. So, I get up right away to see what she wants. I’d rather her do this then blow up my spot in front of my friends. She has the faux charm of being extra posh in front of Mermista and Perfuma. I sorta think it’s because of the fact she is their mom’s boss and doesn’t want to look bad in front of them. They’ve never heard my mom get shrill and her accent drops from calm and collective to old  _ Mousehole _ accent. Or as my dad puts it best  _ Mommy is lowkey white trash _ . Sometimes I get her mad just to fluster her up enough to say “You can take the girl out of the fishing village, but not the fishing village out fo the girl” just for fun. 

  
  


She brings me downstairs in front of dad who had some papers in his hand and also the trash can next to him, filled with McDonald’s and Dunkin Donuts bags in it. I think those all might have been from my car.

  
  


Mom points for me to sit down and she sits next to me. I don’t know what to expect. But dad has his accounting glasses on and that usually means they are looking at bills and stuff. Mom sighed and informed me “Your spending is becoming unreasonable for a freshman at college” 

  
  


I rolled my eyes and asked, “Do we really need to have this conversation now?”

  
  


My dad shot me a look as he placed the papers down on the table. They were bank statements from my debit card. Dad explained “Sweetie, you’re going little nuts with how much money you spend. You spend at least $30-$40 daily on food, I know you love take-out, but this is excessive in spending,” he then handed me another bank statement with some of my other purchases from Gucci, Sunglass hut, and some more name-brand stores.

  
  


My mom took over the conversation with some vigor and aggressively pointed out “Your excessive need to dress to impress and shop extensively is uncalled for. Aside from buying almost $400 worth of name-brand goods, you’ve also managed to fall to a “C+” average in your first semester of college. The resource of not having to worry about your debts is supposed to reflect on better grades, but this is a clear sign of you not caring about your blessings that your father and I work so hard to give you”

  
  


I narrow my eyes and ask “Well, do you want me to look the part of a lawyer and doctor’s daughter or what?” I shrug.

  
  


I realize as soon as I say it that I shouldn’t have. 

  
  


Dad takes his glasses off and scolds me “You know before your mother had the money we do now, we worked through college, we waited tables, cleaned cars, walked-dogs, cooked! All the sleepless nights we spent living in our dirty old studio apartment-”

  
  


Mom cut him off to declare “Darling, please, Glimma would never know how that felt like to wake up two hours before work to commute on a subway, ride a bike through a dangerous part of town at night, or hear police sirens and blokes arguing at all hours of the night,” she glared over to me as I shrunk a little in my seat. 

  
  


Dad then chimed in with “Remember eating ramen noodles fifty different ways, Angie?”

  
  


Mom smirked and commented, “Remember eating eggs fifty more ways?”

  
  


He smiled and pointed “Don’t forget potatoes babe”

  
  


The two laughed a little at each other and I thought the coast was clear for me to leave as I moved my chair out. Mom snapped back to face me and grabbed my arm “We aren’t done darling, our real discussion needs to begin”

  
  


They both looked at me with a serious expression and gave each other a mutual nod and my mother declared “Since you want to spend countless dollars on Dunkin Donuts Lattes, eating out restaurants, and buying expensive parcels, it is clear you don’t have a clue over the value of a dollar. So, starting now, we are budgeting your spendings on your debit card and you’re getting a part-time job. Either by campus or a weekend job when you come home every week-”

  
  


I stop her right away and ask “What about my studies?”

  
  


Dad answers for her “If your a “C” average now, without work, I don’t think you having a job will change anything. I’ve decided to take next Tuesday off to set you up with a tutor and concierge to help you navigate your college life workflow”

  
  


I glare at him “So, your spending more money on me and complaining about me spending money at the same time?”

  
  


Mom commented “Well, if you weren’t living off Latte and burgers, we wouldn’t need to do all this”

  
  


Dad nodded and mom then patted my shoulder and said “You get a budget of $20 a day, you are to eat your meals on campus, since we already paid for your meal program for the school, and you will meet your tutor next week, okay?”

  
  


I just snarl and stand up “Fine, great, anything else you want to control?”

  
  


Dad then added “We installed a camera in your car. It detects your speed and it tracks your mileage”

  
  


I raise my hands in the air in defeat “Great! Thank you Warden!” and storm out of the kitchen. 

  
  


He calls to me “I’ll show you how to install the app later, love you”

  
  
  


Unbelievable! Job! Tutor! budget what next? Oh great a fucking camera in my car. Why can’t mom and dad just admit they have empty nest issues and fix their own shit! Jeez, God! I’m going to love it when Adora moves out.

  
  


I get upstairs to see Mermista and Perfuma giving me a guilty look.

  
  


“You overheard?” I ask.

  
  


Perfuma nods “A little”

  
  


Mermista comments “My mom has me on a budget too”

  
  


I flop back next to them on the bed and sigh “Well, the freedom was good while it lasted. I thought being away from them would give me some peace, but they pay for everything, so I can’t get too from them”

  
  


Mermsita laughed a little as she replied “Once I start paying for my own cellphone, and my car insurance, my mom lost a lot of leverage on me. My dad bought me, my first car, so she can’t hold that against me either”

  
  


Perfuma shrugged “I don’t have control issues with my mom”

Both Mermista and I looked at her and replied in unison “Lucky,”

  
  


We laughed a little before mom came into my room to interrupt us again. She waved to the girls again and asked “Sweetie, can Adora use your car to go out? You're blocking the Truck”

  
  


I sit up and ask “Why didn’t she just ask me herself? Her room is literally next to mine”

  
  


Mom paused and accidentally looked directly at Mermista. Correcting herself he lied and said “I was just passing by her room and decided to ask for her”

  
  


I sigh “Yeah, right”

  
  


Making it clear to Adora I had enough of her crap I yelled “Yes Adora! Take my car! I don’t care, go out and have fun!”

  
  


Angella hissed at me “Glimma, enough” and closed the door. I heard the slamming of Adora’s room door and looked down at Mermista. Her expression changed from discomfort to anger. I can understand her frustration. Adora had ghosted us the day of the incident. Now she won’t even attempt to talk to us. Mermista got up and declared “I’m going to head home. I’ll ask my mom to come to get me”

  
  
  


\--

  
  
  


Adora’s point of view 

  
  
  


I can’t catch a break. I used to love seeing my sister, now, I can’t stand her. Sitting in the same room with Mermista makes me feel  _ different. _ I don’t still like her, like her, but I just can’t make myself talk to her. Everything feels so weird now. I just want to run anytime I know she’s near. I didn’t even want to go to church with mom Sunday, because I was afraid to run into her last week. I hate this. I know it makes Glimmer mad that I don’t hang out with them, but I face her. Not after everything that’s happened. I was confused about liking her and she shot me down. Worst she laughed at me and said I was like a little sister to her. Was that all I was to them? Just a little sister? Glimmer’s little autistic sister? The group retard? 

I feel like crying all over again. Replaying that day in my head. The most humiliating moment of my life. The moment I realized I was never their friend. Only their pet. 

  
  


I was able to break the train of miserable thoughts when I saw Catra. Standing outside her job. All I could do now is smile. I thought about how happy she made me, even with our limited time together, I got happy to see her. With only seconds before I pull up in front of her I think quickly. How to greet her in a cool way. How to start our lunch date right. I grabbed Glimmer’s sunglasses off the visor and placed them on my face. Pulling up to Catra slowly I rolled down the window and tilted the sunglasses forward to show a little it of my eyes and said “Sup”

  
  


Think I was cool. Instead of getting her to swoon, she laughed. Not giggled. Laughed. My face felt hot when I realized I just made myself look like a dork. In embarrassment, I flung the glasses off my head and whined “I-I thought I looked cool!”

  
  


She got into the passenger side of the car and sighed “You do look cool. But you do stuff that is just super cute sometimes”

  
  


I look down for a second. Feeling my face got redder as I drove off. 

  
  


I was too flustered to make small talk, but she did that for me and asked “So, this Perfuma girl. She’s nice, right? Scorpia has a bit of a thing for her right now, I don’t know much about her and all she does is a post about flowers and all that basic hippie crap, so I can’t get a read on her. You know her, is she legit?”

  
  


I blink “Legit?”

  
  


“Is she nice? Is she genuine or is she fake?” Catra elaborates.

  
  


I pause “Perfuma, has always been nice to me. She’s the voice of reason in their group of friends. She always did nice things for me. She knew my favorite foods, where I liked to sit in her house and was never mean to me. She’s…..genuine” in hindsight maybe I shouldn’t have stopped talking to Perfuma. She never stopped talking to me. Always sending me texts once a week to make sure I’m doing fine. I never responded, but that didn’t stop her. 

  
  


Catra leaned back “Good. because I don’t want Scorpia getting her head messed with by some chick” Catra looked at me with a serious expression “She’s a really good friend to me. I would hate anyone who hurt her”

  
  
  


I nodded “You're a good friend”

  
  


She smiled a little at that. Almost as if I embarrassed her by saying that. She then offered “Maybe I’ll be a good girlfriend too?”

  
  


I beam at her while we are at a stoplight “You already are”

  
  


The second we get to park we lean over and kiss each other. I didn’t even have to ask. She just went for it the same time I wanted to. Our lips were pressed together. We never kissed with tongue yet, but this is the third time we’ve kissed. Maybe if I open my mouth a little…… do I just stick my tongue out or what? 

  
  


In a bold move, I part my lips slightly. But in a nervous move, I basically darted my tongue to her lips.

  
  


She pulled back and asked in a shocked tone “Did you just tongue punch me?”

  
  


I sank into my seat in embarrassment “I was trying to kiss you! M-more romantically” I covered her face and groaned.  _ Can I ever just win? Can I go one day without being such a sperg?  _

  
  


She removed my hands from my face to look at me “Hey, it’s cool. I get what you were trying to do. I’m just not ready for full-on make-out sessions yet. I’m a bad bitch, not a fast bitch. The pucker kisses and hand-holding is cool with me for now”

  
  


I sulked “I ruined the date. Didn’t I?”

  
  


She assured me I didn’t and we went off to have milkshakes together.  _ Two straws.  _

  
  


After I got home. Glimmer wanted to talk to me. I assumed she must have been made about me having her car for two hours, but instead, she wanted me to come into her room and she locked the door behind her. She instructed me to sit on her bed and she pulled out her phone. 

“Look I know we aren’t cool right now but I gotta ask--and--you can’t all pissed off like you did last time. Are you and Catra a thing?”

  
  


I glared at her and sat up from her bed “That’s none of your business” I told her.

  
  


She just growls at me and crosses her arms “Adora, I’m trying to help you”

  
  


I raise my arms “With what? When have you tried to help me”

  
  


She shushes me as she announces “Dad put a dashcam in my car. Mom was worried about me traveling long distances so she wanted to do this. When dad set my app up online for me. I scrolled through the footage from today and I saw you are a little awkward make-out session. Dad and I are the only ones with logins to my account. I need you to come clean to mom and dad before one of them finds out”

  
  


I feel my heart race in fear. A glimmer caught us. Dad will find out soon and so will mom. What if they make me stop seeing Catra? I feel my eyes water as my mouth opens slightly. I want to burst out into sobs. 

  
  


At that moment, Glimmer was acting like my big sister again. Shushing me, sitting back down on her bed and hugging me. She rubbed my back to calm me down. I control myself enough to not cry out loud. She calmly tells me “It’s okay. Do you want me to talk to dad? I’ll do that for you”

  
  


I nod into her shoulder. Dad might be easier to talk to and admit to something like this, but it’s still hard to. This was the whole reason I wanted to date Mermista. She would have handled my social worries, she would take the lead when I felt shy or nervous like she did when I was friends with all of her friends. She was loved by my parents. I felt at ease around her, and I mistook that for love in a nonfamilial way. 

  
  


Glimmer now brought all my stresses full circle. I still needed her just like a needed mom. I still need them no matter what I feel. I have no independence. She got up to talk to dad and I was too much of a coward to face him, I just hid in my room. When she got back, she brought two bowls of ice cream in with her and we talked for the night. 

  
  


She asked me what has been on her mind all summer “Why have you been ignoring Mermista and Perfuma?”

  
  


I looked down in shame and admitted “I was too embarrassed to face them. Nothing can go back to normal now because of what I said to Mermista”

  
  


Glimmer disagreed “No, things are okay, they miss you and I think you should reach out them”

  
  


I nod and just take another spoon full of ice cream.

  
  


She then asked me “Why didn’t you ever tell me you…. Like her, like that?”

  
  


I still couldn’t look her in the eye “I thought if I was dating someone like Mermista things would be easy…” I bit my lip “I always…..” this was going to be hard to admit, but I think Glimmer might understand “I’ve always felt weird around girls. I never cared about boys. I never cared for their attention. I know I had some boys' attention, but I never wanted it. I always wanted girls to like me and want to be my friend. I always felt super awkward in locker rooms, or when girls talked about boys. I sorta figured out I was gay when I was thirteen-ish. I dunno…. Maybe I knew before that. I just knew the first girl I ever want to hold hands with was Mermista, She always seemed to get me. We’d hang out and have sleepovers together and I felt like she sort of replaced Catra for me. I never looked at Catra like a sister. You were a sister to me, but Mermista felt like she was someone who wanted to be around me in a different way…..”

  
  


I looked up at Glimmer and she gave me a somber look and asked “Mermista replaced Catra for you?”

  
  


I nodded “Yeah”

  
  


She frowned “This thing with you and Catra…. Is she genuine? I don’t want to see you hurt again”

  
  


I tell her “Catra really cares about. She’s the one that suggested we become girlfriends. I don’t know how to describe it, but we clicked so quickly when we finally got to see each other after so long, it felt like we were never apart”

  
  


I feel for the most part that Glimmer understood me. I asked her “What did dad say?”

  
  


She told me “He knows, he won’t tell mom yet, but he does think you need to tell mom when you're ready. It will come off as lying if she catches you, she’ll be more hurt that you couldn’t come to her”

I put my ice cream bowl down on her vanity and nod.

  
  


Glimmer also added “Dad also wants to let you know that he doesn’t think Catra’s a  _ bad bitch  _ and he’s relieved to know that your girlfriend is so vanilla that she kisses with her eyes open”

  
  


I gasp in horror “He saw?!”

  
  


Glimmer nodded “we both did before we deleted it”

  
  


I cover my face with my hands and cry “Why did you two watch it?”

  
  


Glimmer coughed before answering “It was like watching a train wreck. An awkward, virgin, disaster lesbian, car train wreck” 

  
  


I flop back on her bed and groan. “That’s so embarrassing”

  
  


Glimmer just patted my leg and chuckled “It’s okay. The first kiss can sometimes are awkward”

  
  


I raised my hands in defeat “That was our third!”

  
  


Glimmer screeched “Third?!” 


	17. PPPFFFFTTTTT!

**Adora’s point of View**

  
  


Glimmer knows, dad knows, and mom still doesn't know about me and Catra. This makes things more awkward. Dad volunteered to drive me to school since it’s raining and mom is letting Mermista’s mom use the truck. So, here I am. Driving with dad. The radio is softly playing, but it’s nothing but commercials, and dad isn’t saying much. Have I upset him? He is a fun parent. The happy parent, and typically easier on us then mom. I did hurt his feelings last week, but I can’t be sure as to why he isn’t saying anything. Has the disappointment of my sexuality finally reached its peak and he is sickened by my degenerate behavior? If that is true then is that the reason auntie doesn’t talk about her gayness? Growing up I heard of her going on dates and I would innocently ask where her boyfriend was and I received a barely understandable response. Homophobia must not just be a virtue of mom, maybe dad is a little too. This will make my home life awkward. The looming worry of one day upsetting dad and he goes off and tells mom about me kissing Catra. To my luck, my mother morally disagrees with conversion therapy. So being sent out to straight camp won’t happen, and I am a trust fund baby, so if they cast me out when I turn 18 they could easily leave me on my own. Wait? Don’t I need to be a certain age for my trust fund to kick in? Crap! I turn 18 in January! Where would I even go if I was kicked out?

  
  


I must have been staring at dad this whole time. He turned to me and asked “Anything on your mind, kiddo?”

  
  


I turn to look at the window instead. “Nope” I quickly replied.

  
  


I felt him staring at me and I know he was frowning. He then said “I gotta tell you something”

  
  


I gulp and turn back to look at him. I was afraid of what he was going to say. Would he tell me he told mom or was he disappointed in me? I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t prepared.

  
  


“This morning,” he began.

  
  


My heart raced a little in fear.  _ Does mom know? _

  
  


“This morning I took a giant poop. I was backed up for almost two days. That’s 48-hours worth of turd in me. It wasn’t good. Your mom wanted me to drink a bottle of magnesium citrate to get my bowels blowing. But I didn’t want to. So I ate a Whopper junior meal with cheese last night before getting home from the office and….. This morning. I took a dump. It was so bad your mom did her make-up in the office. She wouldn’t go near our bathroom after what put that toilet through”

  
  


I looked at him completely dumbfounded.  _ What the hell kind of story is that?! Why do I need to know about that? Seriously, poop!? _

  
  


He looks at me and explains “I think magnesium citrate is gross. It’s overly bitter and sweet at the same time. A whopper goes down smoother. It was tasty going in and it made everything fly out of my butt faster”

  
  


I turned away from him. If this was his way of being funny, it didn’t work. 

  
  


He then says “The point of the story is I did what made me feel better on my terms. Knowing your now keeping secrets from us, just means we failed as parents in some way to make you feel you can’t come to us”

  
  


I turned to him and snapped “Did you really think telling a story about poop was going to segway into the inevitable!?”

  
  


He glared and kept his eyes on the road “Okay you want a better story? Heres on. When Casta was coming into her own sexuality she would hang out with a lot of trouble makers in the club scene. This was the 90’s in New York and do you know what was going on in the gay scene during the ’90s in New York?”

  
  


I shrugged.

  
  


He answered in a serious tone “Micahel Alig. The guy who killed his drug dealer in a bathtub. My mother heard the news and became terrified about my 18-yar-old sister hanging out at night clubs in New York. So, in fear, my mom made her transfer to a college in a different state than she felt was safer. You know where my step-father and mom sent Castaspella to go to college?”

  
  


Again. I shrugged

  
  


“San Fransico, California! My sister went from smoking pot and taking swigs of vodka in bathroom stalls to getting her freak on with any girl with bangs and a perm and low ride jeans. She got more dates than me at that time, and look at me, I’m gorgeous” he said pointing to his beard. “Back when I in my twenties I could rock a crop top so good I made a woman once change her citizenship” referring to mom. 

  
  


I giggled and he added “I’m okay with you and Catra but all cutesy and shy with your little teenage pucker kisses going on, but I’m not okay with you hiding this from us”

  
  


I blushed furiously and stuttered “D-don’t call us that! W-we just, Ah! I don’t need to kiss in front of everyone!”

  
  


I laughed at me and glanced over and smirked as he teased “No if you do that you’ll get too embarrassed. Besides no parent wants to see their kids kiss anyone” he paused for a second and looked at me “hiding who your dating. That’s not okay. We’re not going to act like a bunch of nut cases if you invite Catra to the house for dinner and a movie, I’d rather you be able to take your dates home or at least tell us you’re going out. I don’t like the thought of one of my daughter’s running around smooching behind any closed door she can find”

  
  


He pulled into the school parking lot and my face felt like it was on fire. The literal idea of my smooching Catra any chance I could get was a secret guilty desire of mine. I really wanted to kiss her behind every closed door. Or parking lot, or behind the bleachers, or in the locker room or-

  
  


“Adora” He then added. “Back to the reason why I wanted to use the poop story to segway into this conversation. Until you tell your mother about you and Catra, I’m going to make a fart noise every time I talk to you”

  
  


I look at him with disbelief over how childish he sounded saying that. “What?” I asked.

  
  


He turned to me and blew a raspberry “PPPPFFFT!” 

  
  


I turned away “Eww, dad” as I opened the car door he made another fart noise with his mouth and called out to me as I was halfway to the crosswalk with a loud and embarrassing “BYE!!! BABY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!” before driving off.

  
  


I groan as the crossing guard smiles at me. I start my morning feeling embarrassed. For the rest of the day, I avoid people more than usual. After a month of barely talking to people, most of the seniors in my class took the hint and this was the first time I ate lunch alone. Not feeling welcomed in the upperclassmen lounge. Too afraid to make new friends. I kept to myself in the cafeteria, sitting at the corner of an empty table, a few freshmen smiling at me. Dad’s words carried little weight to me. I still didn’t want mom to know. She has made it clear she views my sexuality as a defect to my autism. She views my autism as a defect. I wish I waited to come out. Telling Mermista was a huge mistake. Of course, she would call Glimmer after I left crying. Her and Glimmer and best friends. It all made sense for it to trickle down. I should have waited, better yet, I should have never thought her and I would be a couple. Part of me is super happy to have Catra in my life, another part thinks the timing is bad. Even when I do tell mom she’ll just think it’s me going from one girl to the next. 

  
  
  
  


BIZZ

BIZZ

  
  


I look down at my phone when I know no teacher is looking. 

  
  


**Catra:** Can you skip whatever class you're in now? I’m at the school right now getting my uniforms.

  
  


I practically jump up and rush to the main office. That’s where the campus store was. Going in I saw the usual display and posters “Brightmoon Academy” sweatshirts and banners and in the back of the small store were the clothes racks for uniforms with a poster on the dressing room with the proper uniform attire standards for boys and girls. Catra let me know she was just finishing getting dressed. 

  
  


Looking around some more I say Scorpia’s mom. Cheryl beamed when she saw me. Making it a point to say my name loud enough for Catra to hear from the changing room. 

“Oh, Adora. So good to see you. Catra, dear, Adora came to say hi”

  
  


Catra opened the changing stall door and darted a look over to Cheryl. She handed her the clothes and said “These fit fine”

  
  


She then looked at me and smiled “Hey, Adora” 

  
  


I smiled and just waved at her. Nervously, even though I was only standing two feet away from her.

  
  


Cheryl hummed to herself as she took Catra’s clothes and walked away. 

  
  


Catra groaned and commented “They ask about you now, ever since that time you had dinner at their house. They think I have a crush on you”

  
  


I titled and asked, “Well, you're dating me, so don’t you?”

  
  


It might not have been the best question to ask. Her face did turn red after I said that. 

  
  


_ Did I just make her Blush?  _

  
  
  


Before I could think too much about that. The bell for lunch period rang and I told her I had to get to class. I hugged her before leaving. Seeing her face go red as she looked away in a sorta bashful. I think it’s super cute how she can get shy. I can get shy too, but I never saw Catra act shy before. Not like this at least. When I left I heard Cherly say something, but the only thing I could hear clearly was Catra’s defensive response. “Friends Hug! Geez”


	18. Chapter 18

**Scorpia’s point of view**

It’s hard not to be selfish. I need to be a better friend when it comes to my relationship with Catra. Sure, she had her moments where she does care, and she is good to me. But she does have a bad case of being one-sided in some situations. She has had a bad temper in the past and has lashed out at me for things she had no right to. Before she moved in, she was extremely moody in distance. Even at Horde Grove, whenever she had a bad day or delt with Sue in a bad way, she always managed to take her anger out on someone, sometimes it was me, but instantly after she did, she would regret it. Not by saying sorry, but by making it up with small gestures of her affection. My mom Mandy declared it a toxic friendship from the start. Which was weird since my mom on many occasions asked for me to invite Catra over for dinner or sleepovers. So, even with thinking, Catra had the shitty moments she saw she was not all bad.

Now with her living with me, I see a change in her. She apologizes, she is more courteous and more careful about her words and her actions. In a way she kind of acts like she’s afraid. But she does smile more, laugh more, and she shows more genuine emotions now. 

I want to take it credit for it, but it’s not because of me. It’s all thanks to Adora. A pretty girl with a dumb name and a big forehead. We get it, everyone loves you! But I don’t!

I know it’s not right to be jealous of her, she has a different friendship with Catra then me. They were friends as babies and when they reunited, they really clicked. 

I mean, really clicked! They started dating in less than a week of finding each other. 

But it sucks! For me at least! All my hard work as a friend, all my time and patience, lead to very little in return. Don’t get me wrong. Catra has been a good friend in so many ways. Sticking up for me, raising my self-esteem, and covering shifts for me at my family’s café. I really, do appreciate her for who she is. I just wished that in all those times of staying up late, talking, laughing, and sometimes crying. She’d fall into my arms, confess her love to me and kiss me. Sadly, that is never going to happen. Especially now that she’s smitten with Adora. I guess Catra was always going to be the one I was never meant to have.

Even now. Right now! I’m sitting alone in my bedroom while she sits alone in her bedroom. Not gonna lie, I would kill for her to just knock on my door and talk to me…

Or kiss me…..

Or—rip off her clothes and jump on me! But that’s more of a secret dream and dirty thought. One that I have from time to time, or when I’m in the shower, or when I use that secret electric toothbrush, I have stashed in my underwear drawer. 

Just then. My phone goes off and I see an unknown number ask.

**Unknown:** Hey, this is Adora. I got your number from Perfuma. Mr. Crawler said you were going to be Catra’s welcome guide for her orientation tomorrow, I was wondering if I can do it instead?

I glare at my phone screen. Who does this girl think she is? I really wish Perfuma didn’t give my number out, especially for Adora to impose herself on my time with Catra. 

I text her back

**Scorpia:** Hey, Adora. No thanks, it would probably be for the best if I gave Catra her tour around the school instead. I’m about the school's welcome committee and your not.

**Adora:** Mr. Crawler said I could if you change your mind

**Scorpia:** Great. I’m not changing my mind.

**Adora:** I’m sorry, but did I offer to help. You see Catra every day at home. I don’t see why tomorrow is such a big deal.

**Scorpia:** It’s not a big deal. But I’m telling you I’m not changing my mind.

**Adora:** You already were the team leader for the freshmen orientation, I don’t see why you need this too.

**Scorpia:** Because I’m on the welcome committee and this is my job.

**Adora:** technically it’s a volunteer position, and technically I can just ask Mr. Crawler to join the welcome committee too.

**Scorpia:** You can’t just sign-up just to take Catra around the school. 

**Adora:** I’ll do more than that!

**Scorpia:** Like Gardening club?

**Adora:** what about it?

**Scorpia:** Your signed-up for the gardening club, and you haven’t gone to a single meeting this year.

**Adora:** I went all the time last year.

**Scorpia:** Yeah, when Perfuma was in. After she graduated you stopped going. 

**Adora:** Okay, so what? Did I miss a meeting?

**Scorpia:** You missed six!

**Adora:** Sorry, I’ll unenroll or something, but seriously, can I just take Catra for her tomorrow, please?

I give up. This chick clearly has no regard for anyone but herself. How did Catra fall for such a one-sided, one minded, and selfish person!

**Scorpia:** Fine. Since you not going to take no for an answer, go ahead.

**Adora:** Thank you.

I didn’t bother to reply after that. I just couldn’t believe it. The love of my life has completely slipped away from me and I did everything right!

It wasn’t too long after when Catra knocked on my bedroom door. I was surprised to see her. She looked so relaxed in her tank top and shorts. I really liked seeing her like this, but I repressed my gay thoughts for as long as I could. I asked, “You okay?” 

She sat on my bed and turned to me, looking sad and guilty “I know Adora took the welcome committee thing from you. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay”

I raised my hands a little as a played it off “Oh, I’m fine, totally fine, I’m cool that your girlfriend wants to do this for you”

I sat next to my bed. She looked away from me as she asked “I feel like you’re mad at me”

If I lie to her I won’t feel any better, but If I tell her the truth, I could hurt her feelings. 

She looked at me this time and asked again “Are you? Are you mad at me?”

I sighed and laid down on my back “I am. I’m sorry”

I don’t know why I apologized, but I did.

She laid next to me and asked, “Is it because I live here?”

I gasped. I love her living here! I would never want her to not be here. “No! I love that you’re here, I just wish that…..” Oh, God! How do I tell her I’m jealous of Adora?

She frowned and asked, “It’s Adora isn’t it?”

I looked down “Yes” 

She bit her lip and paused for a second before replying “Is that why you haven’t gone out of your way to hang out with me”

I let out a nervous laugh “Well, why haven’t you? I know you’ve been through a lot and I didn’t want to be pushy with you, so I let you have your space”

She looked down with some sort of shame in her eyes. I don’t want her to feel bad, but I can’t lie and pretend that it wasn’t the truth. If I bothered her, she would get shitty and lash out at me and I didn’t want any of my parents hearing her at her worst. So, to avoid it all together I left her alone until she wanted to hang out.

She asked another question “Does Adora bother you?

I shrugged While we laid down together, facing each other. “A little”

“Why?” she asked.

“I just figured…. After all, we’ve been through and how close you and I got that you might have felt something for me. But, instead, you never did”

She bit her lip and looked away “Well, that’s not actually right”

I blinked “What do you mean?”

She looked at me shyly “There was a time when….I did have feelings for you…. I just never did anything with them”

I was shocked! Completely shocked! Catra had a crush on me?! Or well, at least did? When?

“Uhm” It was the only thing I could muster out. 

She let out a small laugh and explained “It was a little after we first met. You were so nice to me and you always seemed to care about me. You used to bring me food at the shelter, offer to hang out all the time, and took me to the movies and arcade…..” She looked away “You made me feel special” she looked at me “It scared me a little, that the first person to show me true kindness I was falling for, so I repressed my feelings”

She looked a little worried about admitting that to me and asked, “Was that weird to admit?”

I shook my head “N—no! no! it’s not! I just didn’t think you e-ever liked me like that”

She blushed a little and scoffed “Well, what’s not to like”

My face felt warmer when she said that. Wow. Just wow. 

She nudged me a little with her knee “Hey, say something. I just admitted to having a crush on you back when we first met”

I snapped back to reality. “S—sorry, it took me by surprise. I—uh, well I liked you back then too, I just thought you never did”

Catra asked, “How come this entire time you never made a move on me?”

I was taken back a little as I explained “Because… I knew how bad you had it with Sue, Lonnie, and Miles. I know they were all a little forceful on you when it came to your emotions. I didn’t want to be like them. You used to complain all the time when you had a boyfriend about how much you hated how handsy he was, and you didn’t even like me hugging you sometimes, So I didn’t want to be the kind of friend to push that on you”

Her faces softened as she moved closer to me, letting our foreheads touched she quietly said “Thank you”

We relaxed for a moment together before my mom came in to let us know dinner was ready. It was a bit of a compromising position to be in, but my mom Cheryl didn’t say anything.

**Catra’s point of view**

First day of the new school. I feared the worst. I was afraid it was going to be like in the movie “GET OUT” with a bunch of crazy white people, but instead, it was nice. Everyone here is nice…. And I’m not the only minority, turns out the campus is diverse, they even have a Latin culture club. So, I’m not the only Puerto Rican here. 

This morning was fun. But kind of strange. In the past when I used to get ready for my first day of school every year, Sue was never impressed. Her only demand was to not miss the bus, because she never wanted to get up out of bed before 9 am. Today, I woke up to Cheryl making breakfast, and Mandy wants to take pictures of me in my school uniform with Scorpia next to me. For the first time in a long time, I felt comfortable with someone taking my picture. It felt sort of weird though. For starters…. I saw the receipt for my school uniforms and realized Cheryl dropped over $200 on me for school and now they were almost pampering me to go. It feels like they treat me like their own daughter. I do not know why. They have nothing to gain by taking me in and being kind to me. I don’t deserve any of this. But, for some reason I have this now, I feel okay. When we head into school after being dropped off by Cheryl we go straight to the main office. Scorpia is supposed to be my “Welcome committee” buddy. Someone to shadow me around to all my classes, show me all around the school, and help me with any questions I have. When we head into the office to speak to my guidance counselor. Some overly chipper blonde with a fake tan. She was nice—and—pretty. _God! I’m so gay!_

She handed me my schedule. Gave me a little pin that says “New Student” and told me about the school policies and what I need to do as a half-day student. 

She brings out this large white pin that says “New Student Guide” and informs me “Adora Brighton is a member of our welcome committee for students and she volunteered to show you around school” I turned to Scorpia and she just shrugs and smiles at me “She _REALLY_ wanted to do this” 

I feel my face go hot as Adora sprints in. Clearly overly excited to see me. 

_She looks so cute in her schoolgirl uniform; it should be illegal!_

She showed me around the school. I assumed the school was much bigger judging by the outside of the building and the amenities, but it turns out most classes have less than twenty kids and the presumed graduating class will only be about a hundred students.

Adora sat with me in every class. I had to stand up in every class to introduce myself. I then figured out I don’t like public speaking. Everyone was really nice. The classrooms were clean, the teachers were nice, and everything here seemed so relaxed. You don’t even need to ask to use the bathroom at this school. You just grab the hall pass and go. At Horde Grove, you had to threaten to puke on a teacher’s desk before they let you leave class. 

Everyone stared at me. I didn’t like that. It wasn’t one of those mean girls looks though, it was more like an _“I want to ask you a million questions”_ sort of looks. 

I was super vague when people asked me about my old school. A lot of kids asked why I was a half-day student and I explained I was in beauty school and that counted as multiple class credit. A few boys were checking me out. One guy named Dylan passed me a note in Geometry and asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?” to which I coyly replied with “Sorry, already taken” in the note passed back. He sent another with his phone number and his Instagram name. Assuming I would change my mind. I blushed at the attention. Adora was not too happy with his advances and shot him a dirty look. I smirked. I guess my girl is the type to not share. 

Finally, during lunch, we had some privacy. Adora showed me the cafeteria and senior lounge, but we ate lunch out on a bench in the gardening club. Scorpia joined us there. It was nice to have them in the same place at the same time together. It only got a little awkward when Scorpia informed us that a few boys were already interested. 

“So, Nick Caymen and Paul Rowley already have the hots for you?” she said to me with a wink.

I asked, “Who are they?”

Adora defensively proclaimed “Boys from the football team, We didn’t even have any classes with them” she pouted.

I laughed “You mad?” 

She rolled her eyes “At the idea of a bunch of boys throwing themselves at you, yeah!”

Scorpia then offered “Boys ask you out all the time Adora”

Adora shrugged “Yeah, but I don’t want them, and they all know my dad is crazy”

I asked, “What does your dad do?”

Adora smirked “He’s eccentric, volunteers to all the school dances and charity drives, and he has a talent of making all of the Glimmer’s ex-boyfriends super uncomfortable”

I smile at the idea of Glimmer being uncomfortable. 

We talk all of the lunch period and Adora shows me around to my last two classes, she delights in the moments where I turn down multiple guys and tell them I’m already in a relationship. It’s finally the end of school and I wait with Scorpia for her mom to pick us up. We back where the gardening club is and Adora gives me a much-awaited kiss goodbye. I feel a flutter in my stomach when she does that, then an instant smack of guilt when I turn to see Scorpia’s face. Adora left when Micah text her and I was left with Scorpia to wait in awkwardly. She humored me with the lie everyone heartbroken person says when their crush moves on “I’m happy for you” she says.

I smile “Thanks” I felt like saying that wasn’t enough. I sit up from the bench and tell her “You deserve better! Better than me! You deserve a nice girl to run to you and want to date you!”

She jumped a bit at my declaration. Her eyes went wide as she tried to brush off my gesture. “Catra…. You don’t need to say that”

I placed my hands on her shoulders “No! you deserve a nice girl. A pretty and nice girl”

She looked away from me “Well… we’ll see……” she shrugged. 

I sighed.

I sat back down on the bench and just like a weird circumstance that Perfuma chick showed up. Out of nowhere, she walked over “OH, good Adora said you were here” 

Scorpia looked like a deer in headlight by her presence. Perfuma being so strangely bold asked, “I was wondering if you wanted to go out today and hang out?” I looked over to Scorpia, who was now turning red. She stuttered out a lame excuse “S—sorry, I got to work today”

I instantly stepped in “But! I can cover her shift!”

She shot a look of worry at me. She couldn’t believe my gesture. I assured her “I don’t have a class tonight, I can cover for you”

Scorpia became flustered as she looked down “I—'m still in my school uniform, I—need to change and—” I then suggested, “Don’t you have extra clothes in your locker for gardening?”

She flustered remarked “Yeah, but those are just casual clothes and they aren’t all that clean”

Perfuma “Asked why don’t we hang out here?”

Scorpia gulped “Well—”

I cut her off “She’d love to!”

She turned to me “What about my mom?”

I turned to her “I’ll tell her you made plans”

\--

I covered her shift. Working the front counter sucks. Luckily Mandy was working in the kitchen and she switched with me. She likes dealing with customers. She started to ask me about Scorpia’s plans and asked if I knew anything. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I left it vague. “She wanted to stay and do gardening club stuff”

She asked, “Did she get new members?”

I lied “Sort of. A graduated wanted to help out”

She raised a brow “Is Scorpia interested in anyone at school?”

I kept my eyes focused on the empty cutting board “I don’t think so”

She asked “Are you interested in anyone”

I looked at her. Cheryl and she knew I had something going on with Adora, but they didn’t exactly know what. I know their friends with Angella, so I can't tell them about me and Adora just yet. I lied again “I don’t know”

She questioned, “You don’t know?”

I shrugged and kept looking down. To my luck, a person came in for an order and Mandy didn’t ask anything. After work, I grabbed some pastries for a snack from the fridge to bring over to Adora. She’s eaten the food here a few times before and liked it and Mandy and Cheryl always offer us to eat whatever we want. _Seriously, they are always trying to plump me up._

I got to use Scorpia’s bike as I asked to drive off to visit a friend. It felt weird. I’m so used to just getting up and going wherever I want, now I ask permission. Granted they never say no and they thank me for asking, it still feels so domestic for me.

I sent Adora a text letting her know I was on my way. It was late and she didn’t want her parents to know I was coming over. I suggested meeting her in her garage, but she said that would be too obvious. When I got to her house I rode my bike to trash cans when I notice her bedroom window is right above the garage, and trash cans are right on the side. I send her a text.

_Open your window, I’m going to climb in._

She opens her window in confusion and sees me below. She waves and I quietly get on the large plastic trash can, then I slowly and wobbly stand up. I throw the bag of pastries on the garage roof and I jump and slowly shimmy way on the roof. Once I was up I grabbed the bag, threw it to Adora, and Jumped up again, this time I had help as she extended her hand out to me to lift me as I struggled to get into her window. Once I was in, I fell to the floor and she giggled. 

I stood up and asked, “Not bad right?”

She smiled “Not bad at”

She put her arms around me and asked “Can we kiss? I’ve wanted to kiss you all day!” 

I blushed again. Dammit! 

I put my hands on her hips and agreed “I’ve wanted to kiss you all too”

Our lips finally touched.

We kissed. Lips touching, slightly parted, and then it got a little heated. 

She opened her mouth a little more and tried to slip me some tongue. In this circumstance, it was much better, and I did the same. Soon, it was a full-blown make-out session. Tongue, opened mouths, my hands moving around my waist and torso, my hands clumsily grabbing her pajama top it was hot until the door creaked open and a British voice called.

“Adora?” her mom questioned “Oh!” she gasped. Closing the door slightly. 

We both jumped back in fear. 

Adora crying out in fear “This isn’t what it looks like” I saw in her eyes she was ready to burst into tears.

I quickly came up with a lie “I was making a door dash delivery!” _What the fuck door dash!? Is that the best I can do?_

I pointed to the bag on Adora’s bed “I was just making a delivery!”

Adora nodded. Her voice shaking “Y—yeah,” 

Angella stepped back with an uncomfortable look. She knew I was lying; she can totally tell. She had her hand on the door nob and nodded “Okay, I didn’t know Door Dash delivered in this area, but that’s good. I just didn’t know Adora had company over” _She knows I’m lying! Why isn’t she screaming at us!?_

Adora stuttered out “I—asked I—if Catra could bring me something, an—and she d—did”

I feel terrible I can see the fear in Adora’s eyes. What will her mother do? Punish her? Send her to straight camp? Ban her from seeing me? What will she do?

She slowly started to close the door “Alright then, goodnight girls, sorry to bother you,” and left. Closed the door and left. No other word. Adora fearfully looked at me and covered her mouth. She was scared I was scared. I whispered “I’ll go” before jumping out of the window and back onto the garage roof. I was scared I do not know what is going to happen to Adora. 

**Angella’s point of view**

I just saw what I never thought I would see. Well, maybe from Glimmer, but Adora? My sweet baby girl. Sneaking a girl into her room to snog? This is insane, and then to lie straight to my face about what I had just seen. The panic in her eyes was so telling. She feared me. _Oh, this is worse than when she would tremble from me as a little girl._

I heard the panicked footsteps of her running out of her room and into the hallway to stop me.

“Mom?!” she was on the verge of tears. “W—what you saw wasn’t what it looked like” she lied to me _again._

I gave her a confused look “Darling, what do you mean? It was just coming to say goodnight and saw you had company”

Adora questioned “N—nothing else seemed wrong?” she shifted from foot to foot as she stimmed in front of me.

Micah poked his head out of the room to see what was going on. 

I lied to her just as she lied to me “No unless I am unaware of anything?”

She shook her head profusely “N—no!”

I shrugged “Then there is nothing to be so worried about, love. If you're worried about my approval of you eating snacks late at night, I am fine with that, you do like a snack before bedtime”

Adora trembled and put her arms around me for a hug. 

I hugged her back, then kissed her forehead “Have a goodnight, my baby girl” then I walked away.

Micah looked at me and asked, “Everything okay?”

I pushed into the bedroom with a panicked look on my face forming, I darted my eyes back down the hall to make sure she was in her room and turned to my husband to answer in a hushed tone “I just saw Adora and Catra kiss”

Micah’s eyes went wide “Huh? What? When?” he asked looking at the door. 

I sat on the bed and explained.

“I went in her room to say goodnight and when I opened the door and saw her and Catra kissing”

His eyes went and he sat down next to me “What? How did Catra get here? She didn’t come through the front door”

I whispered “She went through the window. How the hell she did it, I have no idea”

Micah blinked and looked away “Wow, she’s like an alley cat”

I frantically shook my head “You missing the point Micah, I caught Adora red-handed in the middle of snogging and lied to me!”

He asked “She lied? What did she say? Her lips fell on Catra’s” he joked.

I waved my hands “No, no, she lied and said it wasn’t what it looked like, and then made up some stupid excuse that Catra does Door Dash and that’s why she came over”

Micah blinked “That’s stupid”

I looked down to sulk “I don’t care about the lie; I care that she felt she needed to” I turned to my husband “My little girl can’t come to me anymore. She would rather lie me” I rested my head on his shoulder. He tried to comfort me, but it didn’t help. 

My daughter can’t talk to me. 


	19. How to handle it

_I pedaled as I’ve never pedaled before. Everything! Finally, everything in my life is going the way it should. I have a home, I have friends, money in my pocket, and food, and now that might all go away in a matter of minutes because Angella saw me kiss Adora!_

_What will she think of me now!? She thought I was a thug when she first met me over a month ago! Now she might think I’m a thug who moves fast! The whole situation is bad. She must think I’m some hoe! Sneaking into her daughter’s room at night! What if she thinks I’m trying to put the moves on Adora in a bad way? What if she thinks I’m pressuring Adora?_

I started to reply to every kiss in my head. Did I ever steal consent, was I ever to forceful? If anything, Adora was always the Queen of first moves but her mother does not know that! Her mom might make her break up with me and never speak to me again. The thought was unbearable. What if she is on the phone with Cheryl and Mandy right now, telling them I’m no good. _What will they think of me when I come home after borrowing Scorpia’s bike?_ They might think I’m awful. Would they kick me out? They’re friends with Angella, and they are all doing this as a favor to me, they don’t owe me anything! They could take it all back.

_I’ll have nothing soon._

I made it to the last stop sign before turning down onto my street. The lump in my chest was overpowering and I just broke down and cried. 

Loud and ugly crying. 

Thankfully no one was around to see me.

I finished biking down the road and quietly put the bike in the back yard and walked up to the front door. I felt dirty and ashamed like I shouldn’t be here.

I slowly opened the door to walk in and saw no one was in the living room or kitchen and that made me more scared. I went downstairs into my room – or what will be my room for only a little longer and cried into my pillow. 

I ruined everything.

It was almost eleven at night when I fell asleep. I woke up for school dreading the worst. The second day of my new school and I can’t even fake a smile. Scorpia had the car today and we drove together. She told me all about her date with Perfuma. They hung out and got dinner together, after that they decided to watch a movie at Perfuma’s house and Perfuma kissed her on the cheek.

I wanted to be happy for her, but I couldn’t help but think about Adora last night and her panicked cry _“This isn’t what it looks like!”_ to her mom. 

I felt my eyes getting watery as she nudged me “What’s wrong?”

I looked at her. I wanted to burst out into tears now. She must have known because she placed her hand on my shoulder reassuringly and said “We’ll talk when you’re ready, okay?”

I nodded and looked away. I couldn’t believe how my day was going, I was going to spend the whole day fighting back tears. 

**Adora’s point of view**

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I felt my body going numb and weak. Every terrible scenario played through my head. Mom getting mad at me, Catra, forbidding us to see each other, everything. Mom has so much control over me, plus, I’m a trust fund baby, they can disown me, or force me to never leave her side. I hate this! I hate mom! Why can’t she like Catra? Or why can’t she like me for me?

Dad knocks on my door to wake me up for school. He sees I’m awake and still in bed. He asks, “You sleep at all, pumpkin?” 

_Pumpkin._ I miss being called that. He used to call me that all the time when I was little. 

I shook my head. 

He came into my room and closed the door behind him. Placing his hand on my forehead he asked “You should stay home today; you don’t look well”

I covered my mouth with my blanket and asked, “Where is mom?”

He looked at me with a sad expression “She’s downstairs” he pauses before he tells me “She’s worried about you. She thinks you weren’t honest with her last night” 

I look at my dad with a sad face. I know I deserve to get scolded, but I don’t want to get in trouble. I figured sad eyes would get to him. He pulls my computer chair over and sits down and tells me “I warned you about not being honest with your mom. She’s hurt. You should be able to come to her for anything”

I looked away and didn’t say anything. 

“I know you don’t like that idea Adora, but your mom and we deserve you to be honest with us. I would be screaming if Glimmer pulled a stunt like that”

That made me fear the worst. Not only am I busted, but I might be in serious trouble. My lip trembles as I cover my entire head with the blanket. 

He stood up and lifted the blanket off my head “Baby girl…. I’m not trying to upset you. I do need you to talk mom”

I tearfully ask, “Is she mad at me?”

I shake his head “No, pumpkin, she just wants to know what’s going on with you”

I protest “Nothing is going on with me”

He retorts “You’ve gotten way more distant in the last few weeks and it bothers us”

“I’m sorry what I’m going through bothers you” I snap and get out of bed. 

He looks upset. Instead of yelling at me, he just gets up and leaves. Now I regret my actions even more. That wasn’t the right thing to say to dad. I pull the covers over my head to cry. 

It isn’t too long after when mom comes in. I peak out of my covers to see her, looking upset with me. She gestures for me to sit up and she touches my face. I flinch for some reason, even though mom has never hit me, at this moment she would have every right to. 

She frowns and says “Your father says you not feeling well, I think you should stay home today from school. Get some sleep. I’ll bring you breakfast” She said before leaving my room. I didn’t know what to say. She didn’t push for an explanation or anything. I usually never get sick and usually never miss school. I felt bad, I felt like I wanted to text Catra and let her know that I wasn’t going to be in school today. I reached over for my phone and noticed it was gone. I panicked and looked around to see I didn’t put in on the charger last night and left it on my computer desk. My phone was dead, so I would need to charge it. 

I felt guilty, I should talk to mom about what happened. I just don’t know where to begin. If I tell her Catra and I started to date in secret, she might think we’ve been inappropriate behind her back or even accuse me of dating Catra just to get over Mermista. A lot of things mom can dig up and label me with. She’s overpowering in conversations and doesn’t like to be spoken over, just telling her I didn’t want to tell her, will most likely send her into a fit. 

I lay back down and think to myself.

_How are things going to go now?_

**Catra’s Point of View**

I can’t find Adora anywhere. I looked for her during breakfast and homeroom. I remembered our class schedules are different and we technically don’t share any classes. Despite being one of the smartest kids in Horde Grove, I’m technically one of the dumb kids in Brightmoon. So, most of my classes are just standard. Most of my classes have a ton of boys in them and they all keep looking at me. I hate it when guys look at me. I can’t act ghetto or be shitty in this school. I sit through homeroom and prepare myself for the day, thinking about how much trouble I must have gotten Adora into. Her mom might be shipping her off to straight camp right now! 

I feel an awkward presence behind me as I turn around it’s some fucking guy looking at me. I shoot him a dirty look as he flinches and stutters “S-sorry to bother you, uh, I’m David, I saw we have a few classes together and I was just wondering if you wanted me to show you around some more. I—I can walk you to your classes today and you can sit with me at lunch if you want?” I still give him a dirty look. Not looking forward to today at all.

He assures me “I’m not hitting on you, I know you have a boyfriend”

Wow, word gets around school fast.

I roll my eyes and smile “Sure,” 

He smiles and sits down next to me “Cool, I’m David” 

I raise a brow “You said that already”

He blushes. 

I’m starting to realize the sea of girls in this school is super limited and these boys will ogle anyone. 

I start to take more notice of what the other girls look like in this school. They’re pretty. The boys are cute too. David volunteered to carry my books for me from class to class and even bought me chicken tenders for lunch. It was nice. Even though I didn’t want his company, I was fortunate enough to have. I kept looking around to see if I could catch Scorpia anywhere, but it looks like she’s at the gardening club. I feel sort of lost right now. I barely talked to her this morning, even at breakfast, her moms’ weren’t home since they had to go to work early. I wanted to spend time with her and tell them about what happened, but that wouldn’t be fair. I can’t just tell her that I have issues with Adora. It would be unfair to her, besides, I didn’t even let her tell me about her date with Perfuma, so I would just come off as selfish for only going to her with my problems and never listening to her.

I send Adora a text.

**Me:** Are you okay? You’re not in school.

I feel like that wasn’t good enough. Before school was over, I sent her another text.

**Me:** I’m sorry. For everything…..

**Adora’s point of view**

Mom made me an English style breakfast. Beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, and sausage. She usually never takes the time to make this for anyone since dad and Glimmer never want to eat it. I like it, so mom and I used to eat this type of breakfast on Saturdays when dad and Glimmer went to auntie’s house. It was one of the very few bonding moments we had as a kid where I remember mom didn’t bring up my autism. 

She didn’t sit down with me, she brought it to my room and kissed me on the forehead. After that, I took a shower. I brought down my empty plate and saw she wasn’t around. I saw the car was gone and I felt somewhat hurt. _She didn’t even tell me, she was leaving_. 

I stayed in my room and cried some more. I have no idea what my mom could be thinking right now. Is she mad? Why isn’t she yelling?

_What do I do?_

I look over at my phone to see that Catra texted me and I didn’t dare to text her back. She must be worried. I am too, I just don’t know what to do.

**Angella’s point of View**

At my lowest low, I seek comfort from an unlikable source. My sister-in-law. Someone who I loathe to deal with. Her optimistic fake attitude infuriates me, and her love to date every woman she comes in contact with—including my former best friend, does not make me enjoy her company. But, she has always been good to my daughter’s, and right now I do need her for Adora’s sake.

I wanted to be posh and composed in front of Casta, to not give her any leverage like the zip lining incident, or the Country Club’s Annual Pool volleyball competition, and that time I saw a snake on that hiking trip she conned me into going on. 

Regretfully I was unable to keep my stoic mannerism up and I was relegated to tears. Something hard to do in her house. Surrounded by pink and purple wallpaper, random pet bunnies hopping around her living room, and to make matters more degrading she offered me a tissue from her Easter Island head tissue holder. A tacky display of her taste in art but once I started to cry over Adora not loving me, I wasn’t able to be too picky. 

She assured me “You’re a great mom, those girls know you love them more than anything, they’re getting older, they need you still, just in a different way. Your so intense as a disciplinarian, they need you to be more of a mentor that they can trust to confide in, it’s a huge step when raising young adults”

I sniffled and tried to regain some dignity when I lamented “Adora has refused to talk to me about her—I don’t even know how to say it—sexuality? She hates when I even try to talk to her now, for the first time in her life she talks back to me, this morning and last night she seemed terrified to be near me, I have no idea what could be going through her mind right now, and she does have a history of depression, so I can’t be sure if I am going to handle this right. It feels like everything I do for her mental health makes things worse for her” 

Casta just looks down for a moment before agreeing “You're not wrong, you’ve made some major errors in judgment out of love, the biggest fears right now your facing is if she never can talk to you about these sort of things. For an LGBT child, their sexuality and emotion needs often aren’t regarded well in accepting households, let alone an unaccepting one, Adora will have always had major hang-ups with her autism and you never respected her boundaries,” She started to go on and on about my flaws in parenting. 

I winced in discomfort knowing this was most likely years of her grievances coming out now. Usually, she never has the platform form to call me out on the things she doesn’t like about me, but in this case, she does, and to honest—I deserve it. 

She continued “She gets embarrassed easily, she’s hard on herself, she feels she needs to make everyone happy with her, and that is an unhealthy way to live—your living proof of that has bad side effects”

I snapped out of my sulk to defensibly report “what does that mean?”

She shifted her gaze from me for a moment and redacted her comment “Well, you’re not the focus today, if you're worried for Adora, I suggest being more open with her on your insecurities, and waiting for her to be ready to speak”

I looked down with worry “What if this is something she never wants to talk about?”

She replies “Then you’ll have to accept it. My mother never wanted me to talk about the women I would date, and she never wanted me to be gay. I had questions and worries and the closest person I had was Micah to help me out with that”

I smiled at that. My husband was amazing. 

Casta’s final words on the matter were for me to wait for Adora to come to me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still talk to her. As I drove home I got two surprising text messages. One from Glimmer asking if I was okay? To which I assumed meant she and Micah had spoken earlier. The second one being from Mandy about going out for drinks. I assume she could know or not know about Catra snogging with Adora. 

When I arrived home, I saw she brought her plate down from breakfast. I looked around to see she hadn’t left her room. I walked upstairs and saw her room was ajar. Hearing the faint sound of water in the shower, I realized she was washing up. I heard the faint notifications of her phone going off. I quietly entered her room and saw that Catra was texting her.

****

****

**_Catra (10:40 am):_ ** _Are you mad at me? Are they mad at us?_

****

**_Catra (11:05 am):_ ** _Did your mom take away your phone?_

**_Catra (11:26 am):_ ** _Adora, I’m so sorry about everything! I didn’t mean for this to happen._

****

**_Catra (12:11 am):_ ** _If I don’t get to see you anymore, I just want to let you know I was really happy to finally get to see you again after all this time. I wish I didn’t get you in trouble with your racist-homophobic mother. Goodbye Adora, I’m going to miss you._

I frowned at this. Catra’s opinion of me is poor still. I left her bedroom and waited in my room until she was done. I stirred a little in my room. Pacing. I know I need to give her space. I know I need to give her time to be able to talk to me on her own, but Dammit! I’m a mother! I worry! I need to make sure she is okay. If my baby is crying, I need to console her. 

To my surprise, I hear a knock on my door. My precious girl is standing in at the doorway. Her hair still slightly damp from her shower. She was wearing a white baggy t-shirt and grey yoga pants. Her eyes are cast down at her pink socks as she rubbed her forearm nervously. She asked “Mom? Is it okay if we talk?”

My eyes went wide at this request. I pulled her into an embrace and assured her “Of, course baby, let’s talk”

She nervously accepted my embrace and we both walked into my bedroom together. I sat her on my bed, and she tensed as I sat next to her. She looked at me with a worried look. 

I rubbed her forearm and smiled at her. 

She gulped and asked, “Are you mad at me?”

I shook my head “No, sweetheart”

She nervously said, “I know you don’t like Catra, But I like her…… she was my first real best friend, and she likes me the way….” She averted her eyes and couldn’t think of the right words to say. “She likes me. She wants to be my girlfriend”

I rubbed her back to calm her nervous stim. I asked a question I already knew the answer to “So, I take it that snog was not the first one you and her shared”

She shamefully shook her head and then jumped a little as she frantically replied “W-we don’t make out! We haven’t kissed with tongue yet”

I raised a brow at that comment and her face burned with embarrassment and she looked at the door to the bedroom. _Probably wishing to make a run for it._

I assured Adora “Sweetie, the snogging is not what has me concerned. Although…. We will need to talk about at a different time, but sweetie, I’m just not sure why you can’t talk to me? I love you. I always want to be here for you, and it seems since last year, you’ve been less inclined to talk to me about anything”

Adora nervously ran her hands through her hair and sighed “It’s because you make it hard to talk to you about things….” She fidgeted a little with her hands. 

I inquired “Things as it what exactly? I always felt I was helpful and welcoming towards all your issues—”

She turned to me with a hurt expression and exclaimed “That’s just the thing, issues! You always think I have a problem; you always make me feel like I have a problem. You make me feel so insecure and embarrassed about things I shouldn’t have to be ashamed of when I live in a house of mostly women”

I felt puzzled by that. What does she mean?

“Adora, what have I done in the past to make you feel that way?”

She fidgeted more with her hands as she explained “You make me feel I need to be more ashamed of what’s going on with me. You made getting my period or shopping for bras so much more awkward because you linked everything back to my autism. You never did that to Glimmer. You just bought her pads and told her not to stuff her bra, but for me you made me sit down as you read a pamphlet on autism and puberty and Went bra shopping with me and kept asking if the straps were going to overstimulate me. I mean, seriously! I don’t think I needed that!” she crossed her arms and me and turned her head away from me.

I felt speechless over her example. I thought at that moment when she was ten—being an early bloomer like myself going shopping with her for bras was helpful and a good form of bonding since she was becoming a young woman—the period pamphlet was only because Micah made her cry at the Country Club after telling her sharks will get her in the ocean. I thought I was putting her mind at ease, instead, she took these gestures as signs of cruel humiliation. If she had told me she felt embarrassed I would back off. At least…. I hope I would have unless I missed a sigh, and she did want me to leave her alone and failed to do so. 

I touched her shoulder “Sweetie, I’m sorry I never knew you felt that way. How come you never told me?”

She looked hurt as she explained “I knew you wouldn’t listen. You make everything about my autism and your blanket on your criticisms with it. Even if I told you I didn’t like something you would blame it on autism. Even when I do things well you still make me feel like crap for being autistic. I get good grades and you praise me and then remind me about my autism, and my sports accomplishments, you tell me how proud you are of me then tell people how it’s great that someone who is autistic can be so good on a team”

I felt hurt and surprised by this. I always considered myself Adora’s greatest cheerleader for her successes. Instead, she saw all my words as empty. 

“Adora,” I began “I never wanted to make you feel I was undervaluing your accomplishments due to autism, I always wanted to make you feel proud of it”

She snapped “There is nothing to be proud of it! When you always remind me and everyone around that I’m autistic!”

“Adora?”

She barked “You tell people how proud you are of me being on the honor roll! But then you tell your friends _“She’s doing so great in classes for her autism”_ or any of my trophies from sports you tell people _“Oh, my Adora is start player on the soccer team, such a fleet of talent for her autism”_ you never just leave it alone! Why can’t I just be your daughter! Why does autism always have to be apart of me!”

she started to tear up. 

I felt my own throat dry as I asked “Baby, I never meant to—”

She venomously declared “Glimmer never gets demeaned like you to me! You never refer to as the five-foot-nothing daughter with no boobs and sucks at math”

A smile tugged at my lips, but I tried to repress it. 

I tried to ask “Honey, I’m sorry. I thought I was being supportive”

She rubbed her eyes “You weren’t. You made me feel bad. Like I was never good enough, like, all the work I did was never enough to make my autism less of a thing to you. I feel like you obsessed over it out of shame”

I hugged her as she whimpered “I feel like you aren’t proud of me”

I whispered “I’m sorry”

I heard her phone go off again and she shifted away from me to look at it.

I asked, “Is that Catra?”

She nodded.

“How is she feeling?”

Adora frowned again and looked at me “She’s afraid you’ll make us stop seeing each other. Or you’ll punish me”

I shook my head “I’m not going to punish you. I won’t stop you two from spending time with each other either. I would rather her be able to come over and spend time with you, then you two feel you need to speak around. Adora, Honey, I just want you to be happy” I took her hands into my own “I’m so sorry you felt like you couldn’t come to me, you can come to me about anything and I promise I will be better at listening. Please tell me when I’m making you feel uncomfortable or upset. I promise I’ll listen”

She took her hands away from mine and asked, “If there are things I don’t feel comfortable talking to you about, can I talk to auntie instead and not get you upset?”

As much as it was a sting to my pride I nodded “You can talk to auntie if you feel more comfortable”

We shared a hug, yet it felt insincere as if not all our problems have been resolved. But for now, this was the best I can ask for. 

\--

**Catra’s point of View**

\--

No response all day. My first half-day of school was up and I was on my way to leave. I sighed out at the front office and walked into the parking lot to wait for Cheryl. I wanted to fight back tears so badly. What has done to ruin Adora’s life? I always ruin things. Is Adora off to straight camp or something? I don’t know. How am I going to tell Mandy and Cheryl about this? They’re friends with Angella. 

I want to cry. I’ve wanted to cry all day. I look over and see Fucking David coming towards me. I wish that guy would leave me alone. He’s nice, but I’m not in the mood to be nice right now. It’s too hard to be nice when I feel like crap. 

He walks over to me the notebook I left in class and says he’ll see me tomorrow in class. Judging by the way he looked at me, he could tell I wasn’t in the mood to be around people. Instead of dominating the new school, I’ve been sort of meek and not outgoing. I feel so out of place and now I have the pending doom looming over me. For all, I know these next few hours are my last at being happy. 

To matters worse—Mandy was the one who picked me up. Don’t get me wrong, I like Mandy, but she’s blunter in how she talks to me. Maybe it’s because she can see through my bullshit. Regardless, she’s going to see me, ask me about my day and it will take me all my strength to not cry. 

The moment she sees me as I enter the car, she frowns and asks “How was school?”

I put my backpack in my lap and replied “It was fine. The school was fine”

She started to drive off and didn’t say anything else about it. I kept my eyes on my backpack and refused to look at her, despite feeling her gaze on me. She asked again before we pulled into the driveway “you sure school was fine?”

I nodded again.

She then asked, “Is something outside of school bothering you?”

I nodded.

She looked at me for a second and offered “If you want to talk about it we can, sweetie. But I’m not going to force you, okay?”

I nodded and croaked out “Thanks,”

We went into the house and I ran straight downstairs to cry until I had to go to beauty school. I knew Mandy must have known I was crying, but thankfully she didn’t bother me. It still killed me to think about it. How am I going to tell them? Do I wait for Angella to tell them? Did she already tell them? Should I tell them first? I couldn’t handle it. I laid on my back and tried to regain my composure, but I couldn’t. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I sat up and coughed. I felt like I was dying. My body trembled at the idea of them coming down to my room and scolding me for what I did. I’ve felt like this before. _I’m having a panic attack._

I whimper and clutch my chest as if I were in pain and try to keep my cool. I feel dizzy and sick. I keep fearing the worst and without Adora texting me back I can only assume Angella has her phone and had probably read all my texts. 

I leave for beauty school after I cry a little in the shower to relax, and I can barely focus. Beauty school is my oasis. It’s a place where classy people who want to be hairdressers come together and none of these ladies know a thing about me and it makes me feel safe. By luck It was a short class, and I was able to leave early. I bike home in the rain. It feels cathartic. Like I deserve to get rained on. 

When I get home, I hear Scorpia and her moms talking.

“Oh, sweetie, we are so happy for you!” Cheryl squealed. She wrapped her arms around Scorpia and kissed her cheek “Our little girl has a girlfriend!” she cried. 

Mandy smiled and tried to pry Cheryl off her and suggested “Let’s not try to embarrass her before we even meet—uh, what’s her name darling?”

Scorpia rubbed the back of her neck nervously “Her name is Perfuma, mom”

Mandy grinned “Oh, Jillian’s daughter? Great! We already know her. When is she coming over for dinner?”

Scorpia tabbed her fingers together nervously “Well, I was kind of hoping her and I would go out for dinner this weekend”

Before she could say anything else, she caught me peeking around the corner and waved to me. I jumped when I saw all three of them turn to face me. I retreated downstairs to the basement. I couldn't ruin this happy moment with my crap. Scorpia needs to feel happy. She deserves it. Not me, Scorpia didn’t ruin her girlfriend's life and her moms are supportive of her. 

I start to cry on my bed again.

Hoping to be left alone, I thankfully was for at least half an hour, until Mandy came down and asked “You okay?”

I didn’t have any reason to lie to her. She was going to find out anyway. I admitted “No I’m not, I’m not okay”

She sat on my bead and touched the back of my head “Are you sick?”

I shook my head; still buried in the pillow.

She asked, “Did you have a bad day at school?”

I shook my head again.

She patted my back “What’s a wrong sweetheart?”

I turned to her and tried to not cry as I confessed “Angella caught me and Adora kiss”

Mandy looked shocked “Oh? When was this?”

I rubbed my eyes and explained “Last night. I went to her house after class and kissed her”

She needed a little more context judging by her confused look. 

“We’ve been dating in secret. We didn’t want her mother to find out. We’ve been seeing each other in secret. I snuck in through her window to give her a goodnight kiss” Sounds way more embarrassing and scandalous when saying it out loud. “And Angella walked in. Adora freaked out and I left and now I haven’t heard from her all day”

I felt my lip quiver and I buried my head back into my pillow to sob.

Mandy softly remarked “Wow….. didn’t see any of this coming” I peaked my face out from my pillow to look at her.

She cleared her throat and explained “I assumed you had a thing for Scorpia and Adora” I gave her a _what the fuck_ look as she rambled “I mean, your young and emotions are so conflicting and Scorpia and Adora are pretty girls and—” she stopped talking as I glared at her.

She faked a cough “Oh, sorry never mind. But please go on. What happened after Angella saw you two?”

She helped me sit up and I sniffled. In a shaky voice, I replied “She just left the room. I left right after, but Adora hasn’t spoken to me all day”

She asked, “Do you think she’s mad?”

I nodded “Her and her mom must be mad at me,” I looked away for a moment before turning back and saying “I snuck into her room, he mom might think I’m one of those fast girls and I’m corrupting Adora!”

Mandy sat up and offered “Do you want me to ask Angella about it?”

I shrugged “I don’t know. I think if Adora hasn’t spoken to me, it’s clear something up. What if Angella tells you, you should get rid of me?”

Mandy narrowed her gaze at me “You’re not a pet, Catra. She can’t tell me to do shit. Friend or not, she doesn’t have authority in this house, but she does have it in her own. If you feel torn up about this, you need to make it right”

I asked, “How?”

She offered “As a young adult in this situation, I feel you should apologize to Angella for intruding. If she dismisses you, then that is on her, but as for Adora, I can’t give any better advice” she frowned as she patted my head “As a young lady dating girls, I should be honest and prepare you that some relationships you might have in the future, may not work out due to family involvement. I used to date girls, and a lot of girls would break up with me due to their parents disapproving. It’s a struggle gay teens and young adults go through. I wish I could make you feel better and make things right, All I can do is speak with Angella and recommend you can do the same”

I nodded and went back to burying my head back into my pillow. 

She left my room and I could hear some muffled talking. She must be talking to Cheryl. I should feel to finally have someone to talk to, but I still feel sad. I have to think about what’s going to happen next. 

I don’t have much time to sulk as Scorpia comes downstairs to offer me a girl’s night. More or less. She originally had the approval from her parents to invite Perfuma over to watch a movie but decided to hang out with me instead. I told her she didn’t have to change her plans for me. Mandy awkwardly proposed that I hang out upstairs to make sure no _“Netflix and chill”_ occurs. To which Scorpia completely goes red over.

Scorpia is not going to put the moves on Perfuma, but to humor Mandy I agreed to hang out with them. Which, in my current state of emotions, sorta sucked. I had to watch _Oliver and Company_ with two awkward lovebirds. Perfuma is so genuinely nice it’s sickening. She asked me about school and offered to make me a root beer float. I’m guessing she is the mom-friend in her clique of friends. But, if I hung out with Glimmer and Mermista, I feel there needs to be a mom-friend. I kept looking at my phone in hopes of Adora to respond. But, all night. Nothing. 

\--

**Mandy’s point of View**

\--

Can I be real for a sec? I think Micah and Angella would low-key be the best couple for swinging. They’re not nearly as hetero as I assumed they’d be. They were incredibly dead set on going back to the gay bar. Originally we intended to take them to a gastro style pub on the other side of town. But, they insisted to go here. I would be naive to assume it was because they assumed Cheryl and I would have preferred a gay setting, but judging by how comfortable they are. They seemingly have a bit of a curious joy towards being ogled by gays. Usually, these are the worst types of fo straight friends to have. Heteros who like to flirt with gays and get flirted back, but never do anything with that adoration. Or worse, straight friends who feel they need to be flirty at a gay bar to fit. These two, they just seem so chill with everything.

Micah had gone up to use the bathroom and gave a free moment for us mothers to talk some serious talk. 

After a beer and a shot of sambuca, it was easy to talk with Angella. I think she’s a great gal, also kinda hot, but it can still be intimidating talking to someone like her. So fancy, prim, and propper, and educated. I tell her “Catra told me about what happened”

She frowned as she sipped her wine. Looking down I feel she had some internal regret for what occurred. She asked, “How did she describe what occurred?”

I answered “Well, she admitted to sneaking into your house to smooch your daughter, and then you showed up,” I took a sip of beer before asking “I take it you know about them?”

She nodded and shrugged as she looked away for a second “Apperenalty, Adora felt I’d be unsupportive, so she kept it a secret from me”

I frowned “Well, Catra only told me tonight, she didn’t want it getting around, so…..”

“She hates me. Catra hates me. Our first time seeing each other was not on the most pleasant of terms and I didn’t make myself out to be the most inviting person. It shouldn’t bother me if someone doesn’t like there, but Adora repeatedly told me “Catra knows you don’t like her” and “I know you don’t like her” enough times to make it clear I’ve lost Adora’s trust. Even tonight, she flat out told me she doesn’t want to come to me with a personal matter,” she lifted her hands in a defeated gesture “How is any mother supposed to take that?”

She kept looking back and forth between me and my wife. 

Cheryl caringly placed her hand on Angella’s from across the table and empathized with her “I know this is a hard time. Teenagers can be rough. Especially, daughters. You're doing all the right things by giving her space”

I feel a ping of jealously, my wife has always been the smooth talker. I wish I could have offered something better to say to Angella, but all I could do is nod. 

She asked us “Does Scorpia talk to you two about everything she goes through?”

I shrink back in my chair a little as Cheryl took charge of this conversation. She usually did this. When we go out, she was a fun one. It was a serious one. My wife told Angella that Scorpia, just like any daughter, has her reservations on who she tells what to. I’m usually last to know anything. Cheryl hears it all first. She’s the more approachable parent. Where I have made Scorpia confront conflicts head one and refused for her to give up on activities and projects; my wife has been one to side against me when it comes to what’s best for her. While Cheryl was droning on and on about how much Scorpia looks to her for advice, Micah killed the mood with his dad's humor. I didn’t mind it. I’d rather my wife not rub her perfect parent persona in my face in front of friends. 

Micah returned from the bathroom and declared “According to the guys at the urinal, I’m what the guys would call a _daddy bear_ ”

I and Cheryl laughed at that. For a straight guy who comes across as a bit of a macho man, he sure likes the idea of being flirted with. Angella seemed confused as she asked for clarification “And what is that?”

My wife and I gave each other a grin and looked back at her. It was time to teach the straight couple with a little bit of _GAY 101_.

Cheryl explained “A bear is a burly, hairy, or sometimes stockily built man in the gay community. Mostly bearded men, and the term daddy is for older men”

Micah stroked his beard and self-consciously turned to his wife and asked “Do I look old? Am I old in gay years?” 

I chuckled at that “If you're worried about the grey streak—don’t—silver foxes are universally enjoyed”

Angella nodded and sipped her wine to that statement. She then asked, “Does that make me his mommy bear?”

I snorted “N—no, if anything you’re a what we lesbians refer to as a _Forbidden fruit_ ”

She raised a brow as Cheryl cut me off to explain “That means you’d be someone straight crush. Lesbians love you, but know they can’t have you”

Micah raised his glass to that “Nice!”

We all shared a laugh before heading to the dance floor. Micah and Angella danced together for a bit before Micah got invited over by the other bears to sing karaoke. Angella looked lost the second he has pulled away. I took her hand and danced with her platonically. Better me, then these hungry eyed lesbos. I should tell Angella to not wear cocktail dressed to a gay bar—unless she wants to get hit on by every flannel shirt wearing women in this club she needs to dress down.

As she danced she commented “I know what’s it like to be the bad guy as a parent. Micah is generally favored over me. My oldest daughter refers to him as “Favor parent” on her phone”

I felt a sense of relief. For someone I assumed must be adored, also has her vices. She seemed hurt over her daughters. She’s only spoken of them in such a proud manner before. She wasn’t saying anything bad about them now, but we both stopped dancing and sat back down to talk about our kids. I confessed to her about how I forced Scorpia to take karate and judo classes to help with her self-esteem and get bullies to stop bothering her, only for it backfire, and kids who used to bully her started to befriend her to see if she would fight people on their behalf. It ended up being the reason we pulled her from public school and have gone into debt to keep in Brightmoon Academy. 

Angella told me about the time Glimmer told her that Angella’s only friends are on her payroll and how Adora used to be afraid of her when she first adopted her. 

I admitted to her I secretly want to adopt Catra, but I doubt she’ll accept.

It was a good heart to heart. I just wish YMCA wasn’t playing in the background while we lamented about how we feel like bad mothers. 

As we spoke to receive a text by Angella by Catra of all people

****

**_Catra:_ ** _Hello, Angella. This is Catra. I am sorry to bother you late. I’m sorry about last night. It was not appropriate for me to be in your home late at night without your permission. I didn’t mean to get Adora in trouble. I don’t want to cause any problems with you and Adora. I am still very sorry._

She showed me the text and I explained to Angella “She’s afraid you think she’s one of those fast girls. I don’t know what exactly they were doing or what you saw, but Catra is mortified at the idea of you thinking she was putting the moves on your daughter”

Angella assured me she doesn’t think that of Catra but didn’t know what to say back to her in the text. 

After a little bit of back and forth between what to say, Angella decided on:

**_Angella:_** _I forgive you. I know your intention was not to be inappropriate and I appreciate you apologizing to me. I wish you and Adora would not hide this from us, but I respect your privacy and would prefer you to come to the front door if you want to see Adora. I hope any bad thoughts you have of me are finally put to rest. I know I wasn’t the kindest person to you when I first saw you several weeks ago, but I would like us to move past that. You are welcomed to come to our home anytime._

With that, the night came to a close. Micah still managed to embarrass Angella before they left by introducing her to all his new bear friends. Proclaiming them all to be her extra husbands. 

This would have been funnier if Angella didn’t hear Cheryl demand to be topped when we get home. My ears burned as Angella covered her mouth to hide her smirk before leaving. 

I didn’t even get to the top when we go home because my stupid wife fell asleep in the car and asked to be carried into the house. I saw the girls cleaned up the living room and decided to ditch Cheryl on the couch and go to bed without her. 

The next morning I had to wake up to her complaining about how to mean I am for leaving her on the couch. 

When the girls woke up for breakfast and I told Catra I was proud of her. 

Now more than ever do I want to adopt this girl. She’s a good kid. Stubborn and destructive, but not bad. In a good home, she can be a happier person. In our home, she can be happy. 


	20. Sorry

**Micah’s Point of View**

“So—just to be clear, we aren’t punishing Adora for hiding a relationship, but we _ARE_ —punishing Glimmer for overspending during her first semester in college?” I asked. Just for clarification. Angella claimed she didn’t want to upset Adora any further and she decided to give her more space. This is odd to me since I believe we have given her plenty of space. Enough space to run around smooching a girl while her mother and I worried about her emotional well-being. This conversation was not meant to be a fight, but I know when my Angie’s brow starts to narrow, she’s ready to debate and all I say to that is bring-it-on!

We sat in our bedroom. Her at her vanity looking at me through her mirror while brushing her hair. She defended herself proclaiming “I’m tired of being the bad guy Micah, and from what memory serves, you were just as on board with setting Glimmer on a budget”

I crossed my arms and sat behind her on the bed “I did agree to her being on a budget. I still stand by that, I also remember us standing by punishing her for her little house party over the summer. For having boys over, and punishing her when she snuck a boy into her room when we weren’t home when she was sixteen” I emphasized “I would be flipping furniture over right now if a boy came through a window to make out with Glimmer”

She looked back at me and asked “So, what? Do you want to start Adora’s morning off by scolding her? She already thinks you play favorites”

I narrowed my eyes at her “I don’t play favorites with my daughters. I just don’t coddle and blindside them”

She turned to me and gave me her full angry British attention. Judging by the twitch in her right eye. I knew I triggered a fight “I don’t coddle them and I don’t blindside them. Glimmer knew her spending was out of control and Adora has always been sensitive to a certain word, I’m not perfect, but I care about my children too much to allow them to make bad choices that can hurt them” she turns back around to brush her hair. “I think Glimmer isn’t being entirely honest with us about her money issues, if you look at her bank statement is shows her taking out money frequently, so I believe she was giving her money out to that bloke Waltz. The man who looks thirty and hangs out with college girls. As for Adora, I’m never going to stop being protective of her, and as soon as she gets over her autism loathing she will be a lot better off accepting help and understanding personal limitations” she grumpily puffs out her cheeks a little. Even though this is a serious moment, it’s super cute. Now I know where Glimmer gets it from. Before I can say anything she looks down at her vanity and asks “Am I going about it all wrong?”

I ask “About?”

She asks again “Am I going about it all wrong with the girls? I know Adora and I have had some rocky moments, but Glimmer and I never spend as much time as you and her do, I always wanted Adora to gravitate to me as Glimmer does you, instead I feel like I just pushed them both away from me. Neither of them wants to ever be around me. Adora and Glimmer will lie directly to my face because they feel I’m so unapproachable” she turned to me sadly. In a colder tone, she asked “Just once can you be the one that gives them bad news? Maybe they’ll still blame it all on me, but at least I don’t have to be the face of evil to them for once”

I frowned at what she was asking. I wondered if maybe I’ve been too passive with the girls. Typically, Angie does the scolding and the talks. Some things I don’t want to be involved in, not because I don’t want to be, but some things as far as puberty and other girl stuff never felt appropriate to talk about. In some cases, I should have been more assertive with them. Instead of jokes and teases, I needed to be more involved with them. Now, I regret it. Because Angella feels like she’s alone on the parenting front. 

I told her “Honey, I’ll talk to the girls today, okay?”

I sat up. She turned to me in a worried tone and asked, “Have I upset you?” 

I shook my head “My love” I stood to kiss her forehead “Don’t be too stressed today, okay”

I left the bedroom and went down to the kitchen and saw both my girls eating breakfast. They were enjoying donuts that Glimmer must have bought when she drove down this morning. Her coming home so early was odd, but I wanted to get to the bottom of all their problems in the best dad way possible. As a lawyer I can talk my way into the heart of a courtroom, I can talk to my teenage daughters with ease. 

I greeted them “Hello, my girls” 

Both smiled at me. I reached my arms out to see who would hug me first, and neither did. In defeat, I let my arms fall to my side and asked “So, any plans for today?” looking at the two of them. Adora looked down at her phone with a worried expression. Glimmer seemed to be more focused on her sister. Glimmer glances over to me and just replies “Oh, job searching, mom and you said I need a weekend job, so…..” her voice got a little cold as she said that to me and moved her focus back on Adora. I felt I wasn’t welcomed as I reached for a donut I felt Glimmer glare at me. 

I asked her “Is it cool if I grab one?”

She just rolled her eyes at me. _Oh no she didn’t!_ and just sighed “It’s your money anyways, dad”

I grabbed a donut and shot her a look “Thank you, baby girl” no one still has bothered to engage with me in any way. I watch Adora continue to look at her phone. I then take a bite of my donut. Hoping that someone would talk to me, only to have Glimmer ask “Do you mind? We were kinda talking before you came down?”

My mouth dropped at her rudeness and I stepped back and raised my hands in the air and walked away. Walking upstairs with my donut in hand I returned to my room to see my wife all dolled up for work. She asked me “Did you talk to the girls?”

I correct her “Did you mean I talked to the – _assholes?_ – yes, I did”

She tried to hold back a smile as she asked, “What happened my love?”

I rubbed the back of my head and replied “Adora ignored me and Glimmer asked me to leave so they could talk in _privacy_. Like they own the goddamn place. I don’t pay a mortgage so my daughters can shun me”

She patted my shoulder “This is what I go through with them all the time, your just now dealing with the girls not wanting you or liking you”

I let out a fake whimper “Adora didn’t even hug me”

Angella rolled her eyes and walked past me “Sweetie, welcome to villain status, love”

She turned to me and I declared “I’m going to take a shit on Glimmer’s bed”

She snorted a laugh as she walked downstairs. 

**Glimmer’s point of view**

Mom weirdly left without saying anything. Usually, her majesty would want a royal farewell. Instead, she just left. I didn’t care since I didn’t want to talk to her. I offered Adora a ride to school and noticed her worried expression still fixated on her phone. I figured she and Catra might have had a fight or something. I started “So…….”

She didn’t reply and just kept her eyes on her phone. 

I cleared my throat to see if she would lift her head. 

Then I got annoyed and shouted “Adora!”

She jumped a little in her seat and asked “What is it?”

I glared at her “You’ve been so fixated on your phone all morning, what’s wrong?”

She asked me “Mom didn’t tell you?”

I paused for a second “No…. what is it?”

Something Catra related.

“Mom found out about Catra”

I winced “Oh, wow. Was it bad?”

Adora looked out the window “Yeah, but not as I expected. She caught us kissing. She didn’t freak out on me…. She just left. She hasn’t even really talked to me about it. Then I went off on her a little for always bringing up my autism all the time and told her I’d feel more comfortable talking to auntie Casta than her about stuff. She seemed a little hurt by it but didn’t say anything else, then she went out last night and didn’t say anything this morning, so I don’t know what to do! And I never text Catra at all yesterday because I didn’t know what to say and now I feel bad about that too!”

I blinked in shock. Adora is always on a one-track mind, but this seemed wildly out of character for her.

I shrugged “Well… good thing you finally told mom about how you felt. I think you should have done that years ago, but…. Better late than never, the timing is a little weird, now mom is going to be afraid to talk to you for a while. She usually backs down from confrontation when it’s family-related, so, good job” it sounded a little snarky. I can't say I fully agree with Adora. Mom is just as sensitive as she is, and Adora is such a dope, she has no clue she is mom’s little pride and joy still. My love for mom is different from that for Adora. I was born and planned. Adora was planned and chosen at a time when mom wanted a second child. Mom was clingy and hovered over Adora constantly throughout childhood, and Adora was now getting sick of it. Adora would always vent to me about how much mom was acting weird over her autism but never told mom directly, all she did was have mood swings or pout, so it made me feel right in her actions to be confront mom, I always wanted Adora to find her voice with our parents, but not like this. I feel like Catra is to blame. Catra is outspoken, she told me to “eat a dick” at a college party after I saw her steal a bottle of whisky. I’m still conflicted in my thoughts for Catra. I worry that this hood rat street smart girl is a good match for Adora. My little sister is too sweet to have her heartbroken by a thug. The Mermista thing was a crush turned to misunderstand, but Catr and Adora are in an actual relationship. This girl can little go to second base with Adora and I doubt Adora even knows what that is. Heck! She thinks Penis is a dirty word!

Adora asked, “What should I do?”

“About mom or Catra?”

“Both”

I think for a minute. Catra must be worried or mad that Adora hasn’t talked to her and mom must be all moody since Adora told her to fuck off, so…….

“Do something nice for Catra and tell her your sorry, and say sorry to mom too, because you’re her favorite and if she thinks you hate her, she’ll probably be extra moody”

Adora tried to debunk me “I’m not her favorite! You are!”

I snorted “No, your mommy’s girl! All the way. Mom over coddles to the point of smothering you. You’re her baby” 

Adora glares at me and defends “No, I’m the adopted one, I’m the fuck up. I was a mess when they got me, and I’ve been a mess for them ever since. You’re the blood daughter, your off in college and they don’t worry about you or baby you or anything”

I sighed “They bug me nonstop; I just don’t let them. I made my boundaries with mom and dad noticeably clear when I was, like, fourteen. You never established boundaries with mom or dad. You would just pout or cry. I think if you were direct with mom she’d listen. She needs to be told what’s up. Just like you, sorta,”

Adora kept looking at me “Mom doesn’t listen to me. She knows I hate having my autism brought up and she still does it. Dad doesn’t take anything seriously; I just don’t feel like I constantly need to be put down by them”

I rolled my eyes “They never put you down Adora, you think autism is this world ending thing, mom and dad always talk about how good you are—since you are _the baby_ ” 

Adora crossed her arms “I hate being the baby” she pouted. 

I snorted “I’m saved under mom’s phone as _the brat_ I’d take baby any day, plus your clear mom’s favorite. She always brings up what a goody-good you are”

Adora seemed surprised “Really? What does she say?”

I cleared my throat to prepare for my best mom impression. I began _“Adora keeps her grades up, Adora doesn’t forget to make her bed, Adora listens to me, Adora eats the lunches I make for her, Adora always answers her phone”_

Adora looked down and smiled “She says all that?”

I nodded “Yeah, she does. You’re her favorite”

I think I might have got through to Adora. She asked if I can stop by a convenience store. She seemed super nervous when she got back into my car. Looking at her backpack I asked, “What did you get?”

She seemed embarrassed to show me. She opened up her backpack and revealed a single red rose. I raised a brow and noticed her face was getting a little pink. She bought her girlfriend a rose from a convenience store. She explained “I—just wanted to do something nice. Is this too much? Is it dumb?”

I just smiled and started to drive again. All she did was sputter out an awkward reason as I drove. She’s trying too hard, but it’s super cute to see her actively trying to pine over Catra. I never knew she had a crush on Mermista back then, if I did, I would have done something. She has never been the same after her first heartbreak, and as a sister, I worry. I got my heartbreak I’m dealing with. Once I got cut off I told Waltz, and in a matter of days, he stopped talking to me, unfollowed me, and stopped returning my texts. I felt like I was a good girlfriend to him. I dressed the way he wanted, he showed me all the best trends for the art house scene, I splurged on us when we went out to eat at fancy restaurants and all those indie films and secret club parties, and all I got in return was to be ghosted. Aside from losing my butt virginity, I didn’t receive anything else from him. The only thing I could do was cry into my Coach purse for forty minutes until mom made me return it, along with my unworn Ugg boots, a few outfits from Express, and some jewelry. If I told mom I got sucked into looking good for a guy I’d never hear the end of it. 

I dropped her off and I went on with my day. I felt lazy and decided to go back home after doing a few job applications in person in a few places. I have the whole day to relax before mom and dad come home. I then get a text from Mermista and Oh BOY! It’s a whole new load of crazy!

**Catra’s point of View**

Stupid Adora still hasn’t talked to me. I wish I could at least get a simple text telling me she is okay. Angella says she is. I know Cheryl is proud of me for apologizing to Angella for coming over at night the way I did, but now I’m starting to regret it. I like Adora, but this is just selfish. If she’s mad she needs to tell me, but if she’s okay, I feel I have the right to know that too. If she doesn’t care about me, then what am I to do? I didn’t stick around for lunchtime. It sucks that I have no classes with her, but even then, I feel she should of text me. I can’t figure it out. I’m sitting in my therapist's office because I have a session today, and all I can do is vent!

Here I am sitting down, trying to fill her in on a week's worth of stuff, but also focusing mainly on my issues with Adora. The second I said Adora’s name my therapist took more interest in the topic of my dating. So I filled her in on all the details. It’s not like I’m ever going to see this woman outside of here, so what do I care if I spill some mushy and embarrassing thoughts. 

Miss Casta Angeles asks me about school and I just sigh “School is okay, classes are harder, homework is harder, I have to do a lot more reading, a book that used to take my class three months to read, they expect us to read in a week. In my first week in English, I had to read a book that was two-hundred pages long in only a week and a half so I could keep up. Plus, beauty school is ending in December, so all my hairdressing classmates are trying to get in as much time at school there too so we all can have enough hours completed for our exam”

I squirmed on the couch and she nodded “The school does have a very demanding English department. Have you seek out any help for being overwhelmed?”

I shook my head “I’m not overwhelmed, I’m a fast reader, and I’m good in school. At Horde Grove, the teachers hated me for being a good student. I would help kids cheat or sell answers, so they made me take tests in a separate room. It was funny to watch how mad they would get at me for getting good grades”

She smiled at me and cocked her head and asked “So, school is keeping you happy?”

I replied curtly “It’s keeping me busy”

“And work and beauty school?”

I nodded “Those make me happier, My living situation with Scorpia’s family is nice. Her moms treat me like their own, I’m still not used to it, but I’m okay with it”

She then grinned and asked “Tell me more about Adora, what is she like, I know you have some reservations with her mother, but I’d like to hear more about any current situations”

I looked down at my lap and replied “The secret dating thing was a fail. Her mom saw us kiss…..” I felt ashamed “It wasn’t the best situation…. I went through Adora’s window to see her at night and when her mom opened the door she saw us kissing. It looked super shady like I was a creep or something, Adora hasn’t talked to me since. I was so scared that her mom sent her off to straight camp, I text her mom to apologize and she didn’t cuss me out, she acted like she was cool with it. But, I still haven’t heard from Adora, so… I don’t know”

She asked, “Does Adora come off as someone who understands your feelings well?”

I shrug “I don’t know. She says she likes me a lot and thinks I’m pretty,” I smile at that thought “But, she doesn’t ask about me that much, she does with some things, like where I am, and when she can see me, but she doesn’t get too personal. She’s an open book, so instead of having to tell me about my shitty stuff, I can just listen to her complain about her white girl problems”

Casta raised a brow “What does that mean?”

I raised my hands in the air and proclaimed “Her shit that she deals with is not a big deal, her sister is mad she got her allowance cut in half, but none of them knows what it's like to go without food, clean clothes, school supplies, or tampons a day in their life. She doesn’t get how lucky she is, but I guess having a doctor and a lawyer for parents is tough, she feels she can’t make them proud, but at least she has people that love her. I don’t think Angella and Micah are evil, I just can’t relate to someone who has parents. I can’t imagine living the way Adora lives with people constantly hovering over her. Since I don’t have that, we don’t talk about home life with me, we just talk about her”

Casta asked, “How does that make you feel?”

I shrug “It takes my mind off stuff, so it doesn’t bother me”

She asks “How intimate are you and Adora?”

I blink as I start to feel uncomfortable with that question. Sex stuff always bothers me. I answer “Like, barely first base…..”

She asks “And is that okay with you?”

I pause before answering “It is because Adora doesn’t do anything weird,” I felt slightly embarrassed to admit this “Me and her aren’t the type to go boob grabbing, and she’s never tried to shove her tongue in my mouth. I think she’s shy too—like shyer than me with that stuff, so I’m okay. I’m cool with first base stuff because all that other stuff scares me”

I think my therapist took the hint over my discomfort and asked, “Does the conversation of romance and sex bother you?”

I nodded “Romance stuff is embarrassing to talk about…. I don’t have anyone to talk about Adora to, and if she gets mentioned I feel sort of embarrassed,” _I blush like an idiot—but I’m not admitting that out loud_ “Sex stuff freaks me out. I haven’t had any good sexual encounters in the past and I don’t like being forced to do anything, I’ve been in bad situations where I feel I have to”

She nods to me and asks “Does being in a relationship ever make you think of the past?”

I shake my head “No because Adora is so different from anyone else. She’s not mean or pushy, I think she’s a little selfish sometimes when she thinks about all the stuff she has going on, but I think that’s an autistic thing and not a _being selfish_ because she is the thing”

Casta inquired “She’s on the spectrum?”

I shrug “Apparently, I don’t see it, I remember her having a small stutter as a kid, but I don’t remember anything else off about her” I frowned “She hates being reminded about her autism, her mom brings it up a lot”

“Why does it bother her? Have you ever asked?”

“It bothers her because, she lives in the house with such a weird shift in expectations, Glimmer—That’s her sister—major pain in the ass, but she has to get good grades, go to college and become a lawyer. Adora due to autism doesn’t have that expectation. Angella wants her to go to community college to become adjusted, and maybe do an online degree so she can be safe at home, but Adora doesn’t want that. Adora has filled out scholarships, college applications, and a bunch of stuff so she can live her own life, she got better grades than her sister and does every sport possible, but Angella has no faith that Adora can make it out in the real world”

Casta frowned at this. All I did for the rest of the meeting was talking about Adora, again….. But it was all I could think about, she never texts me back! Her mom forgave me, but Adora’s feelings are unclear. What am I to do? 

It didn’t help that I had to go straight to work after. There I was. Just trying to prep up some sandwiches, when all of a sudden Mandy comes in with Adora behind and points to her like she’s a present! “Look Catra, Adora is here to see you” She was seemed way too happy to bring Adora to me. Adora being as cute as ever had a rose in her hand and I felt a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment. More embarrassment than anything.

Mandy then playfully suggested “Why don’t you take a quick break, sweetie, I can finish up here”

I sputtered “But, what about the aioli? I still need to add in the—” she cut me off “I’ve been making aioli longer then you’ve been alive—go see your friend, sweetie”

I felt uneasy. Adora looked nervous, so I wasn’t sure if she was breaking up with me or not.

I walked past Mandy and thanked her softly and walked over to Adora. She looked happy to see me, and I gave her a half-smile. I was still mad at her, She didn’t talk to me all day yesterday and today and now she just shows up with a flower and thinks it's cool, and secondly! This is my job! If I was busy working? I can't just slip away if we had a lunch rush. 

As soon as we go outside to the back door she tries to shove the rose in my face “I’m sorry,” she says “I got all your texts yesterday and I didn’t reply. I didn’t know what to say, I’m sorry”

I refused to take the rose and stepped back “You can’t just give me flowers and say you're sorry, I was worried all day for you” I explained.

She looked down in confusion and asked, “Should I have gotten you a bouquet of roses instead?” 

I facepalmed “No” I sighed “You should of text me and told me you were okay after you talked to your mom or something” I extended out my arms “I text you, mom, to apologize because I was afraid of your getting punished”

She blinked “You text my mom?”

“Yes! Didn’t she tell you?”

Adora shrugged “I—I haven’t talked to my mom all day today”

Catra crossed her arms “Well, I told her I was sorry. She didn’t go off on me, and she isn’t against us dating, just us keeping secrets”

Adora frowned and looked down at the rose. She just kept looking down at it for a moment and then I saw her shoulders move a little and then I realized she was crying. 

_Oh shit! Why is she crying?_

I extend my arms out to her shoulders “Adora? Adora? What’s wrong?”

She sniffled and shook her head without looking at me “I try, I keep messing up with people….. I’m so used to being around my sister all the time, and now, I’m alone and I feel hurt. I don’t like feeling alone, with you, I wasn’t, but if I’m making you mad, I don’t know what I can”

She looked up to me and sniffled “I—I try, b-but even with my autism, I mess up, first Mermista now you” she rubbed her eyes with her sleeve.

I felt bad for her. Partly. Not entirely, because this felt like was manipulating me. Was she crying to get out of a real discussion? Sue did stuff like this in front of social workers and even Miles cried in front of me once. I don’t like it. I know I should be fair and sensitive, I have an autistic friend; Entrapta, but she doesn’t cry like a baby when things go wrong. 

I cross my arms and ask “You seriously start crying because I told you I’m upset?”

She sniffled “Y-your mad”

I shrug “I am,”

She whimpered “I didn’t mean to make you mad”

I unfold my arms and explain “I’m mad but It’s not the end of the world”

Adora sniffled “But I feel like it”

It occurred to me that Adora is a massive baby. I frown and hug her “Hey, I don’t want you to be upset”

She wiped her eyes again and asked “W-what should I do?”

Catra rubbed the back of my head “I don’t know….. I don’t want you to be sad, but I don’t know what to say, I think you're not very aware of others' emotions. I mean, I was really scared of you, but you didn’t think to text me. When I tell you that makes me upset, you get upset”

Adora shook her head “I don’t know, I—it’s so different, this is so different, for me, I was always around my sister or teammates or my mom, I felt like I was in my bubble, and now with current stuff my bubbles been popped, no Mermista, no sports, no Glimmer, my mom and I don’t get along like we used to and now you—if I mess up things with you—I don’t know—I feel like all I do is mess up with people”

I hugged her and she hugged me back.

I don’t know what to say. I get the feeling of being lost in a way and having to deal with stuff on your own, but I don’t know how to help. I pulled back and said “Hey, we’ll figure this out, promise” 

She sniffled. I feel sort of bad for her now, she sucks at social situations. She had no idea how to deal with her shit, so she couldn’t talk to me. Entrapta is like that too, she’ll ghost people for weeks and pop in like no time was missed, it’s not because she’s rude, it’s because her autism makes social situations and obligations harder for her.

Adora is not nearly as bad as Entrapta, but she’s a million times more sensitive. I like her, and I feel this insane urge to want to help her ~~and kiss her~~ no matter what. 

She looks at me with her sad cute blue eyes and tells me “I like you, I don’t want to mess this up with you”

I reply “I like you, too”

She steps forward a little “You forgive me?”

I nod “Yeah, I forgive you”

She leans in to kiss me, in the corner of my eye I see Mandy peaking from outside the window above the sink and I snap “Really!? A little privacy, please!”

She ducks down at I hear her cackling. Adora looks behind her in confusion and I huff and cup her cheek to kiss her on the lips. She let out a happy squeak and kissed me back, regrettably, Mandy was going to have some fun teasing me later, which at this point my face is already the color of a tomato, so who cares at this point. After a little bit of smooching, we talked a little bit more. Adora and I came up with a “code word” for when she isn’t being mindful of others' feelings. The code word was “Missing the goal” I thought it was a fun sporty saying. She would be able to tell me she’s missed the goal if she can't understand why I’m upset, and she’d be able to articulate why she didn’t know why. I think this was a good idea. 

I gave her a few kisses on the cheek before heading back inside. Dreading what Mandy would say, I was happy to see Cheryl scolding her in the front of the store, about not being nosey and don’t embarrass the girls, stuff. 

My work shift didn’t feel as crappy now that I saw her. The rest of my day was long, I had homework, and I had to study for my beauty school finals, but at least I felt happy to see her, according to Cheryl she was _“My Adora”_

**Glimmer’s Point of View**

Mom was overly excited to show me photos of herself. I have no idea where she is going to go with this but she placed down three photos in front of me, three old pictures of her before she started getting grey hairs. 

“Look at these, what do you see?” she asks me.

I scoff and make a smart remark “A nerd, a nerd, and a nerd” crossing my arms in victory as I was smugly smiley at her as she gives me an unamused look. 

She pauses and explains to me “Well, darling, what I was hoping you would see the evolution that I took from each photo, the first is me when I was still in England, the second was me in university, and the third was a year after you were born”

I examined them closer, the first one was mom extra nerdy. She looked like something out of Harry Potter, her hair pulled back in a tight bun, wearing a black cardigan and a long grey skirt. The second was much cooler. She had her hair down, wild and curly, sporting a red leather jacket, white crop top, sunglasses, and tight blue jeans. The third was just her pointing proudly to her first-ever Doctors' office. Her dorky and excited smile. She and dad were the perfect pair. Both nerds. 

I didn’t get the evolution. So I asked “Is this your way of saying I just need to focus on school to get to career status, because, I do understand that mom,” I’m starting to get pissed about them keep dragging the whole money situation to the extreme to hammer in college stuff whenever they can. I returned all the stuff I bought, and I’m actively looking for a job, so I cant see what else I need to do to get them off my back.

She frowned and shook her head “No my dear, what I mean is I went through changes in my own personal image”

I raise my brow “And?”

She huffed “Oh, you don’t like to make this easy, very well, back in England I was a strict academic student, I had the best grades, and I was the head leader of the girls in my boarding school. I worked hard and despite it all, I was not liked by many of my peers,” mom frowned as she explained. This was kind of eye-opening since mom never really talks much about England. She never talked about her school days. She explained “Being a star student made me envied by other girls, and also being in charge of them also made me unwelcomed. So, when I went off to college I wanted to rebrand myself and try to be a different person, and I couldn’t do that, the way I wanted to,” she sighed and patted my knee and explained “Grandma and grandpa tried their best, I was raised poor and my village was small and the first university I attended was small and many classmates from boarding school attended this university with me, and that same old stigma that I was all school and nothing more stayed, I hated it so much I did everything I could to get into Yale”

I looked a little confused. Was this some big confession about her being some repressed nerd? I asked, “So what happened when you went to Yale?”

Mom leaned back a little and reminisced with a shrug “Well, I wanted to be someone different and new, so I bought a moped with some extra money I had saved from working in England, I let my hair down more, since big curly hair was in style at that time, and I bought a red leather jacket and as many jeans I could afford and joined a female sorority and started to party”

I asked, “That’s it?”

She shook her head “No, I also drank, smoked cigarettes, I did many scandalous things my dear” she acted so proud to tell me this. But she was so vague I pressed on and asked “Scandalous? Like what”

Mom shifted a little and explained without making eye contact “Well, for starters I used to write people's essays for them to make money. I charged an insanely high amount of money, or I accepted Gin or beer for payment, on top of that, I used to drive around my moped on campus at night when no one was looking, sometimes not even wearing a helmet,” she tried to assure me she was once some badass. I tried to hold back a smile at this. _Mom is the Queen of nerds_. 

She told me all her other scandalous stories of helping her classmates cheat by charging for answers and sneaking booze onto field trips. She was so lame. Nothing that she has gone through is relatable to me until she commented “I wanted to catch people’s interest. I wanted men to find me interested, so I dated some unsavory gentlemen in my time and tried to make them happy and it all went awful. I had no one to talk to you, I couldn’t come to my mother for any of my troubles, so I don’t want you to feel like you can’t come to me, I’m your mother, I love you”

She extended her arms out to me for a hug. I huffed and gave up on trying to give her the cold shoulder. I know she’s lame and not even close to understanding what I'm going through, but if this gets her to leave me alone, I’ll just have to deal with it. 

“Thanks, mom” I try not to sound fake as I say it.

Her embrace got tighter as a nervously asked “Uh, mom? I said I love you, too, and this is the part where you let go. Mom?” 

Her embrace is still strong as she tells me again “You can come to me for anything”

I end my embrace to her and ask “Your desperate to know what is going on with me, aren’t you?”

Without hesitation, she tightens her grip “Yes, very much so”

I sigh “Mom, I’ll explain if you stop crushing me”

She let’s go, and I finally tell her everything. Waltz broke up with me, I was only spending money like crazy because of him, school is hard, I didn’t get accepted into any sororities, and I miss my friends. I thought I could keep my cool throughout explaining it all, but I finally broke down into tears. To which this time, I wanted to hug mom. I felt like a failure. I admitted that to her, my grades are hard to maintain, and I feel like I’m always being compared to Adora for grades and activities.

Mom didn’t fight me on anything, just saying sorry, and that she will change things and all she wants is for us to be open with her and she’ll handle her reactions to bad news better. 

When all my crying was over we had a nice conversation, we talked for over an hour, looked at more pictures and laughed at some funny stories, about how dad stole her moped once to get her attention, or how her sorority had a kissing booth and dad tried to get her to kiss him. Turns out mom and dad were sorta cute when they were younger. Mom also confessed to giving in to peer pressure all the time as a college student, and it made her feel more relatable and human to me. It was nice to finally get to know things about mom that don’t always paint her as a saint.

The conversation then took a serious turn when we talked about what was going on with Mermista and her situation. I got a call from Mermista earlier in the day telling me all about how her stepdad had to transfer location, and that they need to sell their house, and move across the country. Hanna is crushed and Mermista is upset because she doesn’t want to move, she can't get a dorm or apartment on campus, and her dad won't let her move in unless she is willing to babysit his new girlfriend's kids and pay rent. 

Mom informed me “I want to ask Hanna if she is okay with Mermista living with us here, that way the girl won't need to start looking for an apartment or anything. But, I’m worried about how Adora will handle things. By chance do you know anything about Adora?”

I answered “She is okay, I guess, she told me all about the Catra in her room thing. I think it’s a little hypocritical that if I did something like that, I would be in major trouble. But Adora is fine. She’s been talking to Catra and I think they are okay. They have a weird kind of relationship. They are awkward, they are in love, they act like a married couple”

Mom still seemed worried “Do you think she would be okay with Mermista living with us?”

I shrug “I want to say yes because Adora wouldn’t want to be the reason for you guys saying no, but she might be a little bothered by it”

Mom asked, “Why do you think she’ll be bothered by Mermista staying with us?”

I scoff “Um, how about because you humiliated her after the whole friend-zone thing”

Mom looked offended “What do you mean I humiliated her? I wasn’t the one who rejected her in a public space” referring to Mermista telling Adora she only liked her as a friend in Dunkin Donuts.

I explained “You were the one who called everyone under the freakin sun about it, I called you to make sure she was okay, then you called dad, auntie, Mermista’s mom, Perfuma’s mom, and you called me three times! You made it fifty times worse for her than it already was, and you should know by now how sensitive Adora is to— _well_ —anything…. I think she might have always been embarrassed about the gay thing, and it is made into such a big deal, I can’t even get her to talk to me about anything, and we used to always talk about everything”

Mom looked saddened by this revelation and I asked her “Did you _not_ think telling everyone about Adora’s heartbreak wasn’t going to embarrass her?” 

Mom looked down in shame and suddenly replied “I thought I was being supportive”

I shrugged “I know” I scoot a little closer to mom. I feel compelled to hug her as I lean in close to her “But, can you give us a little more privacy and trust, if I know I can come to you with more private stuff I will,” I hug her.

She smiles at me and tells “Of course”

I then tell her “Dad left a bunch of fake dog poops in my room”

She laughed lightly and informed me “Wait until you see Adora’s room”

We both laughed at that and speak of the devil. Adora shows up. Walking in the front door with a smile on her face. We both notice her demeanor and give each other a knowing look that she might have gone to see Catra. She gave us an awkward wave before heading upstairs. 

It wasn’t too long before she came storming down to ask “Who put fake poops in my room?” 

We both laughed and mom explained “Your father was trying to be funny”

Adora huffed and crossed her arms “Well it’s not. I almost put my backpack on one of them”

Mom gestured for Adora to sit next to her. Now the three of us were sitting together on the couch. She asked Adora “Where did you go after school?”

I smirked when I saw the color in Adora’s face go red as she stammered “I—I just went to say hi to someone, That’s all”

Mom smiled and rubbed the side of Adora’s mouth “You have a bit of lip gloss here, love”

Adora jolted back as I laughed a little at this. 

Adora embarrassedly rubbed her mouth “It-it's nothing”

Mom smiled “Okay sweetie”

Adora then tried to get the focus off of her and asked “What have you two been doing?”

I handed Adora a picture of mom when she was younger “Mom was showing me pictures of her when she was cool”

Mom shot me a look after saying that.

Adora took the photo and examined it “Oh, you look the same, sorta,”

Mom tossed her hair to the side and remarked “Well I take care of myself, so I have aged well compared to others,”

Adora didn’t indulge in mom’s self-gratification and remarked “You sorta look like cool”

Mom replied “I was cool, and so was your father,” said showing us a picture of dad back in his youth. Crop top and mullet. Only a mustache, instead of his full beard. He looked like trouble. Mom beamed at that photo. I sort of wish when I get old and boring, I can look at someone like this from my past. 

Adora didn’t stay long for the conversation. She gave mom that look that meant she wanted to talk about something and softly asked her “Can we talk later?” before walking upstairs. I nodded and mom and she stood up and followed after Adora. 

**Angella’s Point of view**

_Learn from past mistakes Angella! Don’t pry, just let her talk. In my mind, I know what I want to tell her and what I want to ask, but I can’t afford to offend or upset her again._ I miss my girls; I love them too much to drive them away. If I can make things right between Glimmer and me, I should be able to do the same with Adora—my baby girl. My little princess. I don’t care if she’s rivaling me for my height, she will always be my little princess. 

I took a breath before knocking on her door. Worried she might ignore me. _Wait? Why would I feel like that if she asked me to talk? Then again…. She is a teenager, so her mind changes often._ I was relieved to see she opened the door for me. 

She looked at me. Her blue eyes looking so pleading for something. She seemed to be bothered by whatever was running through her mind. She sat on her bed and I sat beside her. She fidgeted with her hands and said “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Catra…. and that Catra came over, and well…. Yeah all that stuff, I’m sorry mom”

I hugged her “Sweetheart I forgive you, I was never mad. I’m just always worried, and that’s something I need to work on. I just don’t want you to feel like you need to hide anything,” I pulled away from her to look her in the eyes and say “I trust you and I will respect your privacy better”

Adora gives me a half-smile and hugs me in return. “Thanks, mom” then she pulls away and I know she wants to tell me more. _She has so much on her mind right now. Dammit! I want to know what’s going on!_

I tell her “I’m here for you for anything, you can talk to me about anything when you want to, okay?” 

She nods “Okay, mom,” she looks away from me nervously. _Dammit! What is going on!?_

I take this time to ask, “I do need to talk to you about something important,” I see her look worried.

I assure her “This has to do with someone else. Someone else that we are all close to. Mermista……” I see Adora shift uneasily at that name.

I explain “Curtis; her step-father has been given awful news about his job. His company is shutting down the entire office in the state and he needs to move across the country to maintain his job. Hannah is heartbroken, but she was able to find work as a nurse for a nursing home, and Mermista wants to stay here in the state,” I take a moment to read Adora’s face. Old feelings being what they are I can tell she’s worried. “Her father doesn’t have the room for her, Jillian has downsized and doesn’t have the room for her, she can’t get housing on campus, so we would like to offer for Mermista to live with us. As a family, we all need to be on board for this, and your opinion on this matter is important. We will only offer for her to live with us if you are okay with this arrangement.”

Adora looked worried “What happens if I say no?” she asked.

“She might need to transfer college, which may interfere with her scholarships and financial aid,” not trying to guilt her. Adora looked down at her hands and offered “I mean, I guess…..she needs to be here then, right?” 

Looking up at me with a worried look. “So, you should tell her she can”

I placed on hand on her back and asked “Are you okay with this?”

She nodded “Yeah, I’m fine. I just really want to talk to her that much. I won't be rude, it’s still just awkward for me”

“I understand” I replied “I’m sorry I did more harm than good in that situation” hoping that would trigger Adora to talking about it. She didn’t take the bait and just brushed it off with a sigh “Nothing we can do about it now,”

I asked her “So we are clear on boundaries, what would you want me to do moving forward? Or stop doing?” I wasn’t going to pick up on what she did and didn’t want me to do without her being direct with me, giving her this platform was needed. 

She gave me a serious look. She must have been thinking for years about all the things I do that she hates. With her brow narrowed she listed out “Stop telling people I'm autistic, don’t bring it up, don’t mention it out of random. I don’t care about autistic studies or news, okay? And stop talking about me. I don’t want people knowing I have good grades, or what games I won, or if I’m a top student at whatever…. It’s embarrassing” 

Seriously! I can’t even brag about what a great child I have anymore!?

She continued “Don’t tell people I’m doing bad either, stop being nosey too, I don’t keep stuff from you, except for Catra, I want to share stuff with you without it being news to auntie, grandma, or dad. And! I want you to change my name on your phone, I don’t want to be “The baby” anymore or “Sensitive daughter” or “crybaby” they’re all condescending” she finished with a huff.

I cleared my throat. “Well, I can work with all of that, but tough shite on being “The baby” you and Glimma with always be my little girls. So, don’t forget that. Everything else can be doable, so I have some requests of my own, now that you are dating.”

She looked nervous. 

I explained “You don’t get to imply we play favorites. Same rules that Glimma has implies to you. You can have Catra come over, your bedroom is to not be locked, you must let us know when she is coming over, and if I find you have any _love bites_ on you, you’ll lose the privilege to keep your door closed when you have company over, got it?” she nodded in a panicked sort of way. I eased up and informed her “I want communication from you from now on. You older now, I won’t know if you are upset if you refuse to tell me. Just come to me and talk to me, if things are upsetting or too embarrassing, please go to someone you can trust. I know you feel more comfortable with an auntie for some things, but other things, please look to me for them, okay?”

She nodded again. 

I sighed and placed my hands on my lap as I softly informed her “Since you hid your relationship from us and had her jump on the roof to snog you” I shoot her a look. 

In a very teenage move, she protests “She was only on the garage”

I retort “Yes, and she could have fallen and gotten a serious injury, Adora, no snog is worth a trip to the hospital”

Her reaction turned sheepish as she looked away from me.

I cleared my throat and informed her “You're grounded for the rest of the week. As punishment, you're going to help dad clean up the garage”

She raised a brow “I already promised dad I’d do that last week”

I shrugged “Well that’s all I got for punishment, so for now, this weekend, help daddy, then for the rest of this week you have to hang out with me. We’ll go grocery shopping, to the mall, and maybe help me frame so pictures _” None of these things are punishments to her. I’ve never actually grounded her before. She does chores without being asked._

She nodded “Okay, that’s fair” she fidgeted with her hands again and meekly asked, “C-can I still see Catra?”

Okay, she doesn’t get grounding either. I give up. 

I nod “Sure love invite her over for dinner this week”

She practically jumped into my arms “Great, thank you mom” she was beyond chipper now. She stood up and walked to the door “Thanks, I love you” she said before leaving her room. 

I glanced around awkwardly and cleared my throat “Adora, sweetie, this is your room” I called from the other side of the door.

She then sheepishly opened the door to her room. Giving me an embarrassed look I stood up and left her room. Making the teasing remark “Good to know anything Catra related makes you so giddy you forget you're in your room”

She looks down as she walks back to her desk embarrassedly. I smirk and leave her alone until dinner. I feel a little accomplished. I got my little girl back. 

**Catra’s point of view**

Adora is going to be the death of me! First, she puts me through emotional torment and doesn’t tell me if she’s fine or not, and now she invites me over to her family's house for dinner and then her mom decides it would be fun to have Cheryl and Mandy come over too. Since all the parents are all pals. It’s anxiety-inducing to be around one set of parents, now I got to deal with two!

Two! It is going to be so awkward after the whole Adora and my thing.

I think Mandy can tell I’m nervous. As we try over there she looks back at me from the passenger seat and asked “Hanging in there?”

Without words, I just give a nervous smile. At a stoplight, Cheryl asked, “Honey are you worried because of getting caught making out with Adora two weeks ago, or because you hate being too many adults at once?”

_Fuck I see where Scorpia gets it from._

Mandy shot back at her “Cher! Honey! She’s stressed out as it is”

Cheryl was oblivious “I don’t see why? Angella loves her just as much as we do, so I don’t see the problem” she looked at me through the rearview mirror “Are you afraid of being embarrassed? I promise we won't do or say anything to make you feel that way”

I give a half-smile and then Cheryl mumbles to Mandy “If anything she should be nervous about this being her first real date with Adora”

Mandy shushed her and I groaned.

Dinner was luckily nowhere near as awkward. When we got their Angella greeted me and told me Adora was upstairs. Meaning I didn’t have to be around all the parents until dinner and then luckily we didn’t have to eat with them, Micah had the parents all hang out in the kitchen while I and Adora had the living room. 

Giving some much needed alone time. Adora being a little more attentive to my feelings than before asked “Are you okay?”

I shrugged and replied “I’ve been nervous all day. I was afraid I would embarrass myself in front of everyone”

Adora scooted closer to me and commented “You barely talked to anyone”

I frowned “Being around adults like them intimate me” God. I hate having to admit this stuff out loud. But, Adora needs things spelled out for her. 

She asks “Why my parents are nice and so are Scorpia’s.”

I agreed “Yeah, but they’re all _good_ parents. It’s easier to feel more confident and mouth off to adults that act like children, but adults that act like adults are more intimidating.”

Adora let out a fake yawn and tried to put her arm around me. Realizing she needed to scoot over more, she faked yawned again and put her arm around me. I grinned at that. She’s such a dork. 

I looked at her, her pretty blue eyes and her fake confident smile gave me butterflies. I felt the blush come to start to form on my cheeks. To avoid her noticing I leaned in for a kiss. 

We kissed. It wasn’t a long one. After a few pucker kisses and an extended amount of time with our lips touching we stopped after we heard the sound of the parents declaring it was time to leave. We snuck in one last kiss before saying goodbye for the night.

It sounds like a lame note to end off of, but I feel everything is going to be okay. When I’m with Adora I feel like I’m not alone. I feel like we’re not apart.


End file.
